Living Without
Part One
Michelle strolled slowly along a path in Memorial Park as the cool fall breeze blew calmly by, causing her dirty blond hair to whip about in her face. Looking around, she could see numerous children in the distance, being supervised by what she assumed were either their mothers, fathers, relatives, or caregivers.
She took a seat on a nearby bench and continued to watch the activity that was in front of her, her eyes surveying the moderately crowded park. As her mind took in the kids that were climbing jungle gyms, jumping rope, swinging in the swings, and playing ball games, she could see the happiness on their faces and here their beautiful laughter. That caused her lips to curve into a small smile.
Looking in a different direction, Michelle could see a few people setting up their barbeque grills in designated areas to begin celebrating Labor Day. Yes, this was Springfield and Michelle was home.
"Springfield," she had to murmur to herself again. She had never thought she would ever set foot in the town again. Not in this lifetime anyway. But here she was. In Springfield. Again. And it was all because of Rick. Rick and his ever growing family.
After four years of staying away, Rick (with help from Abby, Drew, Jesse, and Bill) had finally persuaded her to visit, even if the visit had to be brief. Rick understood her reasons to want to avoid Springfield, and he had cooperated with his little sister's requests to be visited by them instead. But this time around, he wasn't going to do it. Michelle was greatly missed by family and friends and she had to come home this time. She had to stop running from her past and deal with it.
Eventually, Michelle agreed to return to Springfield and stay for a few days. Now that she was sitting in the park, it immediately became evident to her exactly why it had been so hard for her to return to the place. She could feel the regret begin to seep into her as she blankly continued to stare out at the playing children.
Michelle snapped out of her gazing when she felt something lightly hit against her heeled strapped shoes, and she looked down to see what it was. She found that it had been a basketball and she reached under the bench to get it. When she looked up to see if she'd spot the owner, Michelle found a child standing in front of her. The girl just stood still, waiting for the ball to be given to her.
"Hello," Michelle greeted with a smile. "Why, aren't you a pretty little girl," she said, her eyes looking the child over. "Is this yours?" she asked, holding out the ball.
The girl stared at Michelle for a moment before she accepted the round object and pulled it close to her body.
"Thank you," she said softly.
"Sure thing, sweetie," Michelle replied.
"Darling!!" a voice yelled. "Darling, what are you doing over there?"
Michelle looked over the child's shoulder to see who the person was and she could see that the woman had started coming in their direction with a hyperactive little boy following behind.
As the woman neared, she caught a good look at Michelle, and her skin went pale white and then became flushed red. She must have been having some kind of panic attack, for she hurried the rest of the way and got a hold of the girl's hand.
"I was getting the ball, mommy," her daughter replied her question.
"Did you thank the nice lady?" the mother asked, an evident quiver in her voice.
"Yes, she did," Michelle said, her eyes casually moving from the girl to the boy. "You have beautiful children, Mrs..."
"Let's go," the woman said to her kids and she started from Michelle, not willing to carry on in any conversation.
Michelle watched as they got further away, wondering why the lady was in such a rush. Just a few minutes earlier, she seemed to be in no hurry to leave, and now, she was literally speed walking out of the park. Why the hell was that? Michelle couldn't understand the woman's behavior at all. She seemed to be surprised, afraid, and panicked. It was as if she had seen a ghost.
Nearing a black waiting car, the door was opened and the troop of three entered. The door closed and then the car just sat there. It didn't move immediately. The passenger side window came down a little and remained that way for a moment before it went back up, and only then did the car pull away.
"That was interesting," Michelle said as she came to her feet seconds after the dark vehicle disappeared. "Hello to you too. I'm Michelle Bauer and you're 'Mrs. Silent Nobody.' It was nice to meet you too," she remarked, swinging her purse across her shoulder and walking towards the path she had strayed from. "Springfield certainly hasn't changed at all," she added sarcastically as she made her way out of the park.
***
"Michelle!! Where on earth have you been??"
Staring at her brother, Michelle closed the door and began peeling off her jacket. "The last time I checked, going for a walk in the park didn't require permission, Rick."
"Yes, Michelle, I know, but..."
"Don't worry," she cut him off as she came up to him and brushed invisible lint from the apron he was wearing. "No one saw me. Unless you count a couple dozen kids and their parents. I seriously doubt any of them were toting guns."
"I'm serious, Michelle."
"So am I," she said as she walked by him. "Don't be so paranoid."
"Me??" Rick asked incredulously. "Oh, yes. Big brother is now the paranoid one."
"At least I had a reason to be."
"You still have a reason, Michelle. Those people are still in this town and if word gets around that you're here, they will be sure to come looking for you."
"I thought you said they were all in Spain!"
"They are."
"Oh," Michelle remarked, calming down. "Okay, then. I can't stay cooped up in this house all day."
"But, we're starting up the Bauer barbeque. Everyone else is here."
"I know...I just had to get some air," she replied.
"You could've done that by opening a window or, um, stepping out front for a few minutes-"
"Rick, stop. Please. I'm not going to let anyone scare me to the point of not going to the park or anywhere else. Besides, there isn't anything they can do to me now that they haven't already done. Look at me! I'm fine!" Michelle assured him as she continued towards the staircase.
"Like you've been for the past four years?" Rick asked, causing his sister to stop in her place. Michelle looked heavenward and desperately tried to control the water that was filling her eyes.
Rick quietly came up behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, saying, "I didn't mean to throw that at you. It's just that...I can't lose you, too. I can't and I won't."
"You won't," her voice cracked as she lowered her head. "You won't lose me, Rick."
"That family has caused enough problems for us all, and the last thing I want to do is give them any reason as to why they need to show their faces anywhere around here," Rick spoke and stopped when he heard Michelle's sniffles. "Sweetheart?" he called softly as he turned her around to find that her face was wet with tears. "Michelle..."
"Why can't everything be normal again?" she asked as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm tired of living in fear and I'm tired of wondering what the hell happened with me and....with me and him. Where I went wrong. Why everything was taken from me. Why my life was taken from me..." she was saying just as she broke down into loud sobs.
Her brother brought her into an embrace, holding her tight against his chest as he tried to console her.
"He was cruel," Rick said after moments of silence. "He was cruel and he never loved you if he found it right within himself to do what he did."
"I should've listened to you when you warned me about him," Michelle cried. "I thought he was different. That he wasn't like his mother. How could I have been so wrong? So blind? I should've bailed while I had the chance."
"You're out now, sweetheart," Rick said in a near whisper.
"Yes," Michelle replied in a wavering tone. "Yes, I am. But that doesn't matter because...I'm not alive. Not anymore."
****
"You are sure it was her? The lady from the pictures?"
"Yes, I'm sure. You saw her too! You said it was her."
"If I said she was the Virgin Mary, you'd believe that too?"
"Was it her or not??"
"It was her," Dietz sighed.
"Oh, God..."
"What the hell was she doing there?!" Dietz whispered harshly.
"I don't know!" the woman's voice quivered. "I couldn't believe that she had the audacity to-"
"She saw the kids?" he cut in, obviously worried. "Both of them?"
"Yes, she saw them both," the woman replied.
"Jesus!" Dietz exclaimed in disbelief.
"But I don't think she knew anything. She couldn't have."
"Shit! We've got a problem on our hands. A VERY big problem. I've got to break this to the Boss. She won't be too happy about this development. Especially now that the business has Danny's full attention."
"She won't take it lightly."
"Oh, she won't take it light at all," Dietz scruffy voice made out. "You know what effect Michelle had on this family for a while and what she almost got Danny to do to the business."
"Yes, I have been told about her and her shenanigans. She knows nothing about us, the way we live, or the way we conduct our businesses. She thought she could come here and make this family like hers, but that was impossible. Carmen made sure that didn't happen. We all know that wives don't try to change their husbands from roaring lions to spineless jellyfish!"
"Exactly. That's why she had to be taken care of. Eliminated from our presence. If she knew any better, she would have kept her pretty ass out of Springfield."
"And if Danny knew..."
"We wouldn't want that now, would we, Alejandra? You still want to marry the man, don't you?"
"Of course," she replied sharply. "I LOVE Danny Santos and I would do ANYTHING for him. I have seen what that, that, TRAMP put him through and I will not stand by and watch him experience that kind of pain and humiliation again. He deserves better."
"Now I see why the Boss likes you so much," Dietz remarked. "You are very much like her."
"What can I say? We are simply two women who care very much for the same man, and who both share a common purpose."
"I doubt the Boss wants to bed her own son."
"Funny, Dietz," Alejandra said, not allowing his comment to get to her. "However, I am already very familiar with Danny and his bed."
"I'm sure you are. What's next on your agenda? Giving him the son he never had? Oh. I'm sorry. Someone already beat you to that."
"Don't try to provoke me."
"Now, why would I want to do that?" Dietz asked as he went over to the door when he heard voices and listened. "The Boss just walked in with Warren."
"What are we going to do?" Alejandra asked, whispering now.
"I'll take care of everything. Just go out there and act the usual butt kisser that you are and don't you dare make the Boss or Warren suspicious of there being anything wrong. Don't you open your pretty little mouth either."
"How stupid do you think I am?"
"Do you really want me to answer that question?"
"I have no time for your insults, old man. I've got a wedding to finish planning," Alejandra said as she got to the door and grabbed the knob just as Dietz put his hand on top of hers and squeezed hard.
"I know you don't like me, Alejandra," Dietz spoke as he brought a hand up to touch her face, and she quickly moved her head away from him. "I know you don't trust me and if you know what's good for you, you wouldn't."
"I don't," she informed him.
"Good. Then we're on the same page. Now that we have some kind of understanding for one another, I'd like to give you a little friendly advice."
"None of which I asked for and don't want!"
"You're gonna get it anyway!" Dietz thundered and he then instinctively lowered his voice. "Under no circumstances can your husband-to-be hear anything about our little friend in the park. I don't give a rat's ass if he's holding a gun to your head and threatening to blow your goddamn brains out. The objective, Alejandra dear, is to keep your tongue tied until I say otherwise. Got that? So if you do as much as breathe this incident to him, you can kiss your wedding good-bye."
"I have no intention of throwing my future away," Alejandra replied as she snatched her hand from Dietz. "No matter what you think of me, I'm not stupid! I've waited years to have this man finally come to his senses and realize that he and I were meant to be together. He broke up with me because of Michelle, sacrificing his happiness to protect some murderous, ungrateful bitch!" she spat out. "I'll let you know this, Dietz. I am not going to let Michelle or any one else ruin what I've worked so hard to get. Not now. Not ever," she concluded and then finally got the door open and exited.