How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.

Why are all the dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men will understand them.

Name ten animals from Africa. Nine elephants and a giraffe.

Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

it goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the stronger its in the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just u n me,
not what u think
- teabag
[- pertunia moyana]

Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike?
Rev.

what r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
a-telephone
b-television
c-tell-a woman
[- dolcicaramella]

how do you keep a mongole busy? read below.
how do you keep a mongole busy? read above.
[- alex]

mental anxiety,
mental breakdowns,
menstrual cramps,
menopause...
...did you ever notice how all womans problems begin with MEN!

Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man?
Trus2rthy.

If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.

I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.

This msg can only be read by a SEXY person:
...............
Try again......
...............
Sorry, i guess your just not sexy...
...............
HEY! dont force it, ugly!!!

Foolish man give wife grand piano...wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Crowded elevator smell differently to a midget.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you?

Do step ladders have real parents?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense???
..........
...........
........huh!!!

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station
[- harji]

why did the blonde climb a glass block?
to see what was on the other side
[- bex]

Hw do U communic@e with a fish?
Drop it a line.

If u think life is bad, imagine being a chicken egg... U only get laid once, u only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on your face is your mum
[- a]

life's not a garden,
so stop acting like a hoe!
[- liz]

Abracadabra
Nope, ur still ugly!

Y dnt c@s shv?
Coz they prefer whiskers!

How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

Be yourself,
there are enough other people.

Can I have a return ticket please. Certainly, where to? Back here, you fool.

The thief stole a calendar. He got 12 months.

Two nudists got divorced because they were seeing too much of each other.

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the top of a cliff.

I'm sweet like sugar,
soft like suade,
but unlike nintentdo,
i never get played!
[- liz]

Why sex is better than golf:
No green fee,
smaller hole
need only 1 stick & 2 balls,
more strokes
noisy playing permitted
wet conditions ideal!
[- pierre]

pls turn ur mobile
upside down now!!
37OHSSV O773H