[Some Time After Leaving The Bar....]
After stopping off at his quarters to inject himself with detox to get rid of
his 'buzz', Rylan had dispached yet more repair crews all over the ship, and
ended up down in the computer lab. He had stayed there to make sure the
staff worked on repairing the computer core that had somehow managed to get
rewired with no one noticing. He hadn't noticed that he had been yelling at
anyone that didn't move fast enough for his liking, until after a poor little
Erien looked at him a bit fearfully and practically jumped out of her skin
before running off to do as he said. Ry finally stopped to take a breath and
realized that what he was really angry over had nothing to do with these
other people around him. The real problem, was that he couldn't stop
thinking about that fvadt Khensia and how he'd been suckered by Katara into
going to see her. That stupid program had sounded like a good idea when he
thought of it...but now, the last thing he'd wanted to do was talk about the
stupid stuff he'd been trying to forget all this time. Why couldn't everybody
just leave well enough alone -- leave *him* alone -- and just worry about
their own fvadt selves? They had bigger problems then he did. There wasn't
anything wrong with him!
*Except au'rh too fvadt soft when it comes to tearfull eyes...that's for
sure!* he chastised himself, watching the others around him busily working,
*Au could've just let her think what she likes...but NAAA! Au had to go ahead
and agree to the whole stupid thing!*
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the same, frightened little Erien from a
moment ago, cringe away from him at his expression; her footsteps first
halting, then slowly pushing her forward. "Umm..rekkhai....I finished that
diagnostic au wanted...." she held the isd out to him.
Ry tried to smile at her as he accepted the isd, but it didn't work. The
smile never appeared. Scanning over the information contained within the
data storage device, he found himself having to scroll through it yet again
as he just couldn't seem to focus on the infomation at all. "Au couldn't have
finished it this soon." he gave up on looking at the isd, and handed it back
to her.
"But I ran a ...."
"Na. Do it again....and double check it when au'rh done." He shook his head,
walking away. "That diag should've taken au and the rest of that team a few
*hours* to go over, na a few *minutes*! We're supposed to dock at the
Station tomorrow. Let's have this finished by then!"
"Ie, rekkhai....." he heard her sigh in resignation as the door to the
computer lab shut behind him.
[Quite awhile later]
After checking in with the other various repair crews, looking over what
they'd done and checking the diags they had run on the repaired emitters,
Rylan found himself sulking down the corridors with nothing much else to do
at the moment. The emitters themselves had all checked out fine, and the
computer lab was working on their little problem and would have it done by
the next shift more then likely. Everything was once more getting back to
normal. Or trying to come close to it at least.
Realizing he had been unconsiously heading for the bar once more, he turned
back around and stepped into a lift instead. He didn't want to see Katara
right now, and what good would it have done to go in the bar anyway? He
couldn't order anything....they wouldn't have given it to him if he did. And
he really didn't need to have to look in those big blue eyes one more time
and hear that she thought he was a worthless drunk! And there was the matter
of the Khensia too, wasn't there? Katara would undoubtably ask if he'd gone
to see her yet, and if he answered with 'na', she'd just shake her head at
him and start in again with that 'if au cared, au wouldn't make me worry'
bit.
*Since I was stupid and promised, I have to go see her anyway now that
they've got the holodecks repaired....* he shook his head, frowing again,
*Might as well get it over with....and it'll be a test of the repaired
emitters anyway.*
He had been reflecting on that whole 'promise to Katara' thing -- the subject
just wouldn't stop nagging at him -- when he finally realized something about
the conversation with the barmaid as the lift's doors opened once more.
Stepping out of the lift with a sly little grin, he headed off to the
holodeck to keep his promise.
[In the holodeck...]
After his finger pressed the selection button on the keypad, his surroundings
first flickered, then changed around him. The pale light of the holographic
grid dimmed to a faint silvery-yellow glow. The gentle caress of the warm
night breeze that entered through the gothic arches behind him playfully blew
through his hair. He heard the person behind him drop whatever it was she
had held in her hands; but still, he didn't turn to face her. "...Rylan...?"
the Khensia's soft, surprised voice half-whispered. Speaking a little louder
then when she had spoke his name she continued, "I'm glad au came to see
me." he could hear the welcoming smile she wore in the tone of her voice,
"Won't au sit down?"
Rylan finally turned away from the keypad in front of him, his eyes falling
on the Khensia briefly before seeming to look through her, past her, to focus
his attention away to something else. Crossing the room, he stepped past the
couch she had motioned him to, and instead stopped in front of the archway
that over looked the moonlit meadow beyond. Out of the corner of his eye he
could see her nod her head slightly as she took a hesitant step forward, "Or
au could look out the window. Whatever makes au feel comfortable." she
paused, fully expecting him to reply by this time. But still, he hadn't
spoken. Hadn't, in fact, seemed to know she was in the room speaking to him
at all.
She stepped closer to him still, smiling seductively, trying to draw his
attention away from whatever it was he was focused on at the moment. "It is
a beautiful scene outside." she nodded again, her eyes scanning the view
before turning to look at him. But Rylan still acted as if she had said
nothing. He didn't smile. He didn't move. He didn't speak at all. It was
if she didn't exist to him. That was not a behavior she had expected from
one such as Rylan. Morrigan had to admit...it was almost unnerving.
Trying to draw him out of the disturbing shell he had drawn around himself
like some unseen armor she asked gently, "I'm curious, Rylan....what is it
that you like the most about the view out there?" and hoped that he would
answer. But he didn't. If only he would answer, just a word...a shrug of
his shoulders...anything....she would have something to use to further the
conversation.
So she tried again, "I think I like the way the moonlight falls on the
leaves, turning them almost shimmery....."
Rylan only turned away from the window. Away from her.
Silently, she watched him walk through the room; glancing at an object here
or a candle there; just aimlessly surveying his surroundings in a detached
disinterest. When he stopped in front of one of the bookcases to look over
the titles of the tomes stored upon the shelves, Morrigan crossed the room to
her desk and took the seat on the chair behind it. Sooner or later he would
talk. Perhaps all he needed was the space to feel comfortable enough to do
so.
But after twenty minutes had past, Rylan once more silently staring out at
the view beyond the gothic archway, Morrigan finally gave up on reigning in
her patience with his antics and broke the silence. "Why did au come here,
Rylan?" she shrugged, her wings moving slightly with the movement of her
shoulders, "Au haven't said io word since au came here. How can I help au,
if au won't talk to me?"
"I don't need ninte help." he spoke quietly, finally. "I only came here to
fullfill a promise I made. Na-thing more."
"Au promised to come here so au could get the help au do need." Morrigan
stated gently.
"Na." his head shook slightly, "I promised I would come see au, which I've
done. I'm only waiting for the pre-ordained hour to end. Then I can leave,
and my promise would've been kept."
"Au promised to talk to me," she pressed the issue; the soft, seductive smile
returning to her face, "and au haven't, until now. That's hardly keeping
ninte promise, Rylan."
He turned towards her at that; a small, sly grin on his face, "I promised to
some *see* au. I never said I'd *talk* to au. The promise I made is being
more then fulfilled." he turned back to look out at the view outside the
archway, believing the conversation over.
Morrigan sighed and shook her head, "Why are au so afraid of me, Rylan? I
only want to help au. I'm willing to listen to whatever it is that au are
trying to keep locked inside. If au keep things locked up like that, all
they do is fester and become worse. They make au do things au shouldn't.
Like drinking."
"I don't have a problem with my drinking." he said firmly, more than a little
defensive. "All of au keep insisting that I do...but I don't! I only had a
few in the bar because my fvadt leg was busted. That's it!" he shrugged and
turned to look at her. "And after I took care of that problem I went to my
room and injected myself with detox. I'm na drunk!" he turned away from her
again.
"Oh, I see...." she nodded, "So au can drink as much as au want, and when au
get good and drunk, au can just inject ninte self with the detox that makes
it all go away... and that's supposed to be a good thing." she shrugged,
"Because haveing the detox handy means au don't have a problem." She paused
a moment, then leaned back in her chair, her elbows resting on the arm-rests,
her hands folded over her midsection. "It's na being drunk that's the real
problem here, Rylan. Na io ever said au perform ninte duties when au'rh
drunk. Au don't." she agreed. "The fact of the matter, Rylan, is that au
drink too much, period. Au have been drinking excessively for a very long
time. Au'rh only nineteen, yet according to ninte medical files, au have
already developed the early stages of liver damage. Just because au use the
detox to get rid of the intoxicating effects of the alcohol, doesn't mean au
don't have a problem. Au do. Au, Rylan, are an alcoholic. And until au
learn to deal with whatever it is that's making au drink, au will always
suffer from it, and because of it."
"So now I'm supposed to whine and whimper and tell au all about it, eh?"
Rylan smirked, then turned back to face her. Leaning up against the cold
stone frame of the archway, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and
regaurded her a moment. "Well, I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's
been dealt with for me. I can't ever have another drink, DT's seen to that;
and what happened in the past, remains in the past. I see no point in any of
this."
"Why did you want a Khensia, Rylan?" she asked softly, "I know I was ninte
idea. I know that au wanted me here. Why?"
"To help DT." he answered, but offered no elaboration on this.
"Just D`Tarik?" she questioned, "Isn't the truth of the matter that au
wanted a Khensia so au would have someone to talk to as well?"
"Na." he grinned, his eyes lingering over her, the small sly smile returning,
"I wanted au because of ninte original program. All of this," he glanced
around the room, "is of D`Tarik's making. Na mine. When I thought of au, I
only had io thing on my mind. The idea of turning au into a Khensia was just
a little bonus." he smirked again, "But instead of helping DT, which is what
au were supposed to do, au keep insisting there's something wrong with me."
he paused a moment, then added to himself with a raise of his brow, "I wonder
if DT somehow programed that annoying little habit into au...."
"Au'rh transfering, Rylan." she smiled gently, cornering the boy, "Au'rh
seeing ninte own problems in some io else; allowing ninte self to believe
that au'rh na the io that needs help.... it's every io else that does."
He shrugged at that, passing a glance to his chrono. "Doesn't matter if
that's what au think, or na." he said plainly, then glanced around the room
again noting that the holochamber exit was still where it was supposed to be.
Feeling that he had spent enough time here to make sure the program didn't
suddenly change, he headed towards the exit, "I've kept my promise, and I've
managed to test out the holoemitters as well...two dhael-a with io stone.
So, I guess I really don't need to be here for the full hour. Jolan`tru." he
called back, as the doors closed behind him.
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