"No, don't do that. Any of it. It won't help."
"I can't help it. I love you."
"Stop it." Neko shut her eyes, as if that would block out the truth.
"At least look at me!" Tenshi begged. "How can you reject me if you won't even look me in the eyes?!"
Neko slowly opened her eyes and turned them towards Tenshi. She bit the inside of her lip to keep from saying anything right away. Tenshi was even more gorgeous than usual, and Neko could tell she had pulled out all the stops to make sure that she looked perfect for this confrontation. She was even wearing earrings. Three days ago, Neko would have been beyond joy upon seeing her beautiful girlfriend in this outfit. But today it just made it that much harder� and that much more obvious that she had to make sure Tenshi knew that she couldn't continue to be in love with Neko.
Neko said slowly, "We already did this on Friday." Friday she had looked Tenshi in the eyes and lied to her. She had said that she didn't love her. Neko didn't want to have to go to that extreme again.
"Koneko, I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being. You can't tell me you don't feel the same way."
"I can, and I already have," Neko pointed out.
"No, I don't believe it! You don't just randomly decide that you don't love someone. There has to be a reason why you're doing this. Whatever it is, please tell me! How can I fix it, if you won't tell me what's wrong?!" Tenshi was beginning to look frantic. "Tell me what I did wrong!"
"Nothing," Neko whispered. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she fought to keep from releasing them. "You didn't do anything wrong. Why do you keep pushing this? Why would you want to love someone who can't love you back?"
She started to turn away, but Tenshi ran up to her and grabbed her shoulders. Face to face with her, Tenshi cried, "I can't help who I love! And neither can you! You can't tell me you don't love me! I hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes. It's tearing away at you to do this. So please stop it! I can't stand to see you in pain!"
"Tenshi�," Neko started softly. She couldn't stand to see Tenshi so desperate. And everything she had said was the truth. Neko was so close to admitting everything to her.
Unfortunately for Tenshi, she didn't stop even for a breath. "And I can't stand living without you. Don't you understand? I will always love you! Always!" Her grip tightened unconsciously.
"Tenshi-kun. You- you're hurting me," Neko whimpered pitifully.
Tenshi instantly let go. She hadn't meant to squeeze that hard, and she never would have intentionally hurt Neko. The fact that she had let her emotions gain that much control of her was a shock to her. She had never been a violent person, and the idea that she would hurt the one she loved most was like a kick to her gut.
"Gomen nasai. I didn't mean to. Here, I'll heal it." She reached towards Neko's shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" Neko ordered as she pulled back from Tenshi's hand, rubbing her right shoulder. She had returned to her senses; broken free of Tenshi's spell. And she was crushed.
*Tenshi-kun, you should have known better! You know what Kaido-san did! You vowed never to do anything like that.* She had tried to kiss her without permission on Friday too, Neko remembered. *How could she have forgotten so quickly?!*
As she spoke her next words, she concentrated on how offended she was that Tenshi, of all people, had harmed her. "Get over me, Tenshi-kun. If you know what's good for you, you will forget that you ever loved me. I can not love you the way you want, so just give up on me, okay?"
"Koneko-"
"'Neko-chan,'" Neko emphasized. If she was going to persuade Tenshi to surrender, she couldn't let any part of their relationship remain intact. "Save the nicknames for your girlfriends."
Her hand moved down her arm and to her fingers. She carefully took off the tanzanite ring that Tenshi had given her for her birthday. Her hand was shaking so much, she was afraid she might drop the ring. She took Tenshi's hand and put the ring in it, then closed Tenshi's fingers over it. "There, give that to someone who can love you back," she said, her voice fighting to keep from breaking.
She looked in Tenshi's eyes and knew that she had finally succeeded. Tenshi understood that it was over. Neko's aching heart begged her to do something to ease Tenshi's grief. Begged Neko to kiss her, to hold her, to comfort her. But she couldn't. She had to leave before she gave in to those impulses. "Sayonara, Tenshi-san," she said as she passed her to go into the house.
"Matte," Tenshi cried, her voice full of the tears Neko knew she was fighting to keep from shedding. Neko stopped but kept her back towards her. After a few moments, it became apparent that Tenshi didn't have a clue what she was going to say, and Neko continued into the house and closed the door on Tenshi.
Then she leaned against the door and began to weep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tenshi stood there dumbfounded. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do to get Neko back. She had believed so hard that they would get back together; that was the only thing keeping her sane the past couple days. But now her heart was shattered beyond repair. Neko had made sure that every part of their relationship had been eliminated.
She struggled to breathe. For a brief panic-stricken moment, she found she couldn't, and she wondered if she really would die without Neko. But after hysterically gulping down a couple of breaths of air, she knew that, although it hurt like hell, she wouldn't actually die from a broken heart.
Having lost all hope, she made her way back to her car and drove away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
