Now, the last time I wrote a negative review about Traci Harding, one of her enlightened trazlingers read it and left a charming note on our guestbook, telling me if I ever showed my face on the message board again I would �really know hell!� Really? I would REALLY know hell? So you�re saying reading Traci�s books was actually, like, a FALSE hell and the REAL one will be even worse? Whoa. I�m so glad one of you spiritually enlightened people came along to tell me that, because here I was thinking I was now all fully prepared to meet Beelzubub.
No, I�m kidding. The books weren�t THAT bad. I�m sorry, The Ancient Future. I hope you can forgive me for that slur.
Anyway, naturally I don�t respond well to threats from internet groupies who are too chicken to leave even a screenname, so� I showed my face. What I got was an apology because, apparently, they never meant their comments to be interpreted as a threat. Well shucks, folks, that�s perfectly reasonable. I tell people all the time that if they show their face again around here they�ll really know hell. I find it�s the best way to make friends. Everyone gets a jolly good laugh.
And a restraining order.
I also was questioned that, if I was so guiltless in the whole affair� Yuh-hunh... I really feel like I�ve done something unconscionable by writing a negative book review on a website hardly anyone reads� Why didn�t I post my url on the Traci Harding Message Boards? I didn�t respond to that. Why? Because A) I got over the whole Prolonged Disagreement With A Stranger On The Internet thing when I was about fourteen, guys. And B) I wrote a book review because, actually, my plea to Traci Harding is quite sincere � step up your game, please. I didn�t write it because I wanted to enrage groupies.
I mean, please. This is a board of people who have been known to post messages like � the last time I checked � I think my psychic powers caused 50 Cent to play on the radio! (To quote Dave Barry: I am NOT making this up!) Yeah. You�re a real benefit to humanity. The universe chose well when it bestowed its grand powers on you.
But enough bashing of Traci�s groupies - not everyone out there is a nutbag. I�ve seen evidence that there are others out there who are, like myself, quite sincerely attached to Traci�s earlier books, but unimpressed with her more recent ones. I would like to stress yet again that Traci�s original three novels in Ancient Future Trilogy are still among my favourite books. I do admire Traci�s imagination and I�m sure she�s quite passionate about her stories.
However, this doesn�t prevent me from giving an unbiased review of her subsequent works, in a light tone. And just try to fucking stop me. Which brings us to now. The most recent gem in this collection is Gene of Isis. I was standing in the Dymocks in Castle Hill, debating whether I really wanted to spend my last few dollars on the book when a woman behind me gushed, �That�s a fantastic one!� �Trazlinger ahoy! �Really?� I responded. �I haven�t been very impressed with her last few�� �No,� she assured me, �This one is much more interesting than those.� Oh, well, okay then. If a total stranger tells me to buy it, I will! I had to borrow a dollar or two off Evan to do it, but what�s a dollar or two for Traci Harding?
Courtney didn�t get through the first section of Gene of Isis without casting it aside, stating with some derision that Traci had no idea how to write for the period (nineteenth century England). Fair enough � I�d noticed some questionable phrasing myself, but I still managed to be interested enough that my three hour flight home was comfortably spent reading it. And this is where the title of this little review kicks in � Traci Harding: Mumbling in her sleep. Apparently my screams to WAKE UP only managed to make her stir, grumble, �Genetic key to immortality,� and roll back over.
I did like that Traci came up with a new plot. I liked the various loopholes through time. I liked the narrative framework.
I did not like that this story, for the most part, was the bright and pretty flower petals that managed to hide the industrious, buzzing bee of new age spiritual enlightenment. To read Traci�s new heroines, Ashlee, Mia and Lillet, spouting the exact same moral axioms as her beloved Tory was, needless to say, tedious. At least Tory learned them through a series of trials � these three just manage to pull them out of their asses. I don�t appreciate preaching in any form, and I dare say there are that few people who do. If I pick up a novel I expect to read� A novel. I don�t expect to be constantly, quietly poked and prodded about how �enlightened� beings behave.
I did not like that in amongst this preaching there were large chunks which seemed like they must have been directly lifted from Laurence Gardner�s Genesis of the Grail Kings. (Yeah, he�s the guy Dan Brown also seems to have been �inspired by� to write The Da Vinci Code.) Now, I am quite sure Traci did NOT plagiarise any of Gardner�s �non-fiction� � rather what I mean is that the tone was about as textbook. Honey, if I wanted to get a lecture, I wouldn�t wait for one of your characters to launch into a two page speech about the mystical origins of what-the-hell-ever. I�d just actually get up and go to class for a change. Our author has all the air of a baby that has just learned its first word and can do nothing but repeat it. Over. And over. And over. Now, maybe it�s simplistic of me to associate the author with her fiction� But really, it was to all appearances like the theory of an ancient line with immortal genes was Traci�s brand new word, and she had to, just HAD TO explain it, in depth, to everyone she met.
It was about as appropriate as that baby batting its eyelids and proudly saying FUCK to everyone it looked up at from its stroller.
So there you have it. Her story is more captivating than the books I criticised last time. No one can really find fault Traci�s with ability to write, consistent characterisation, or her narrative technique - and I�m sure she did oodles of research for this novel. But once again I have been let down by the extent to which personal beliefs intrude upon fiction. An odd criticism, since probably every writer from Homer to Chaucer to Tolkien has had a personal agenda � but really, that only proves you can in fact make a point without having to bludgeon the inside of the reader�s head with it. And worse, Traci has parroted a little too much of Gardner�s theorising, which throws into doubt my previous commendation of her own spectacular imagination.
Thank you. Trazlingers, you may now recommence your fruit-hurling. But more importantly, I beg of you � I plead to you � please, PLEASE� Do not make 50 Cent play on my radio.