New Orleans' most prominent vampire missing
It was revealed today in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, that The Vampire Lestat (aka Lestat de Lioncourt, aka The Brat Prince), widely regarded as New Orleans' most prominent vampire,is missing. Last seen at the Big Bad Wolf club on Bourbon Street, Lestat was heard to declare that "No hurricane" was going to "invade" his "territory." He is also reported to have paused a moment, before adding the phrase, "Dudes."
It's well known that Lestat has suffered near-drowning in Louisiana swamplands before, which may have lead to a sense of overconfidence at confronting the devastating force of nature that was Katrina. Friends are concerned that he may be trapped underwater somewhere. This would not necessarily harm the Brat Prince, who does not require oxygen to survive, but could lead to a considerable sense of discomfort and, possibly, even to dangerous shrinkage of his leather pants.
One old acquaintance, who gave his name as The Vampire David Talbot, seemed particularly concerned that Lestat might have attempted to return to his flat on the Rue Royale. "There are so many looters about," he said, woefully, "It is extremely dangerous to travel through New Orleans right now. I shudder to think of what Lestat would do to them." Another friend, The Vampire Louis du Point du Lac, had returned from his new base on Vampire Planet (conspicuously NOT mentioned in the most recent volume of Lestat's autobiography, Blood Canticle, sparking rumours of a rupture in the relationship of the two writers). He had no words for the media, but Vampire Talbot confirmed they planned to conduct a private search of the city, by night.
Leading medical expert, Rowan Mayfair, expressed her professional opinion that Lestat was probably capable of surviving underwater for months, if need be. "I wouldn't worry. Lestat could probably start a new life, under the sea," she said dryly, before adding her own personal wish that Lestat attempt to contact her when he found a phone. "I'd like him to return a few things, like my Greenday cd, and the dress he borrowed off me."
Authorities, while concerned about the Brat Prince's situation, are more concerned about rescuing and housing the still-living survivors of the flood. "If we see Mr de Lioncourt," the National Guard spokesman said, "We'll be sure to offer him a lift. But we can't afford to send men out into the darkness to look for him, not at this point in time." When questioned on his response to this, The Vampire David responded, "It's tragic, but Lestat would have wanted it that way. Who knows, perhaps he is flying other people to safety as we speak, and just hasn't thought to contact us yet."
Anne Rice, unconfirmed co-author (or, some maintain, ghost-writer) of Lestat's chronicles, was not available for comment.
Hurricane Katrina