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Lots of News
Our first birthing class was nice. There are 7 other couples, and almost all of us are on our first pregnancy. I think the nicest part was the relaxation exercise at the end. The lights got turned off, we laid on mats on the floor while soft music was played and our partners rubbed our tummies. I'd like to live everyday like that. :)
Yesterday was the first Notre Dame home game of the season. (We won! It wasn't pretty, but we won...yippee!!) Wowsa, was it HOT! I thought I could handle it, but it didn't work out that way. We got to the stadium about 30 minutes before kickoff. I was very pleased to discover that I have the perfect seat for future games - even when the whole student section stands (which is pretty much the whole game), I can see virtually the entire field while remaining seated. Also, my seat is only 7 rows up from the tunnel, so I have easy access to food and bathrooms, as well as the exit should I have an emergency. Anyway, back to the heat...I brought some water and was guzzling it, but by kickoff I was already very hot. I asked Nate to go ask a security guard if there was anywhere to get a paper fan. It turned out there wasn't, but the guard was very nice and gave him a laminated sheet he was carrying around that functioned beautifully as a makeshift fan. Still, I knew I needed to cool off, so about half way through the first quarter, I went down to the concourse area. I refilled my water bottle, got a hot dog, and sat down in the concourse for about 15 minutes. It's soooo nice and cool in there. They must have fans or something because there is a constant light breeze. After my 15 minutes, I felt refreshed, so I went back up. This was at the end of the first quarter, but again, by halfway through the second quarter, I was feeling way too hot. This time I decided to go to the First Aid area, where one of the guards had said there was an air conditioned room. Nate came with me, and fortunately there was a TV screen in the room and a huge jug of icy cold water. We sat there through half time, hoping I would feel better, but even though I had cooled down, I was still feeling icky and a little lightheaded. At that point, I just decided it wasn't worth risking it to go back up into the hot stands, so Nate and I walked over to the Joyce Center, which is air conditioned (turned out the First Aid room wasn't, but there was a very nice high speed fan to sit in front of) and watched the rest of the game on a big screen TV. I feel like it was kind of a wasted ticket for both of us, but oh well...I know we did what was best for the baby. And fortunately, it's supposed to have cooled off significantly by next week, so hopefully I'll survive that game better. After that, we don't have another home game until early October, and I'm sure it will be much more tolerable then.
Well, now is where I get to the really big news. I have decided to leave Notre Dame at the end of the semester. Although it would not be truthful to say the baby had no role to play in this decision, it honestly is only one small factor among many. I've been very unhappy in the program since my first year, and nearly left then. But I decided to stick it out and see if it got better. I've spent most of the last year consciously and subconsciously deciding whether or not I really wanted to stay. Over the summer, I thought about this nearly nonstop. Last week, I finally came to a decision. I just am not cut out for graduate school. I am miserable and have been nearly the whole time. At this point, I have given myself plenty of time to feel things out, I know exactly what lies ahead, and there is nothing that will make me happier in the program. I have enjoyed being a TA, but that's only a fraction of what I do and not enough to induce me to stay. Right now, my plan is to stay home with the baby until I'm ready to go back to work. This could range anywhere from sometime next year to after all of our children are in school. Right now, though, I am thrilled at the prospect of staying home. The mere thought makes my heart jump for joy. I do realize that at some point I could decide I need more stimulation, but at this time, I fully expect to love being a stay at home mom. Whenever I do rejoin the workforce, I plan on teaching in some capacity. I may teach high school, or I may do something a little more off the beaten track. For instance, there are people who teach computer skills to women in battered women's shelters so that they can become gainfully employed. There are also people who teach life skills to teenage moms while helping them stay in school and get their diplomas. There are just so many ways that I can see to use my talents as a teacher that I feel no apprehension at leaving grad school Being a professor is just a tiny, tiny segment of the teaching-related jobs out there, and none of the rest of them require me to spend 6 to 8 years making myself miserable. And most of them probably pay almost as well. :)
So that's my news. All I can say is that both Nate and I are both very, very happy with this decision. I have his full support and we are both counting the days until November.
The Nursery is Finished!
We also took a new belly pic last night. I'm beginning to feel like I finally look pregnant, not just fat. We also decided to start taking the pictures in the nursery instead of in the family room - it just seems so much more appropriate!
We had our second birthing class last night. I'm actually finding the class mostly pretty boring. If you've been educating yourself at all - and I read pregnancy books and the internet voraciously - there's really very little that's new. And to be honest, our instructor annoys me a bit - she's a little too perky. We did start to work on breathing last night, though, and I do find that interesting. She actually had us work on focusing away from pain, like we'll need to do during a contraction, by putting a clothespin on our pinky finger for a minute or so and breathing through it. I found the breathing only worked well if I also had a focal point, so that is something I will need to remember. Of course, I know the clothespin is nowhere near as painful as advanced labor contractions will be, and I will probably end up with an epidural anyway, but I'd like to go medication free for as long as possible, so I think that was an important thing to learn about how I deal with pain.
Next week we go on the hospital tour! That's what I'm most excited about. Our hospital just totally renovated their maternity ward and it is supposed to be very nice. From what our instructor says, it also seems like our hospital is really dedicated to providing the birthing experience YOU want and that they are VERY supportive of breastfeeding, as well as of giving you time to bond immediately after the birth, rather than just whisking the baby away.
Well, that's about it. I'll try to update this weekend, or if not, probably on Monday night after my breastfeeding class. I'm really looking forward to that, too!