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Highs and Lows
Well, as I reported in my last entry, after the excitement of feeling the baby move on Tuesday, I then had to go through finding out that I have gestational diabetes (GD). This whole little high/low pattern has repeated itself this week, and I'm beginning to fear that I can't have a high without it being followed by a low. :)
My most recent big high came from, much to my surprise, feeling my first real kicks on Sunday night! Nate was even able to feel one from the outside, and so was I. Most of them are still far too gentle to be felt on the outside - they're just light little taps and thuds - but he/she got me pretty good a few times. It's so cool!
But of course there was a low to follow. :( Yesterday, I had my monthly OB appointment. I had assumed that at this appointment, we would schedule my 20 week ultrasound (which is fairly routine) for some time in the next 2 or 3 weeks, so that Nate and I could finally find out what we are having. I've been dying to know because every time I go shopping, especially at garage sales (which only last through the summer) or at our Kids R Us (which goes out of business in early August), I've wanted to buy baby clothes. But they are all so gender specific that it's been nearly impossible (except for sleepers and holiday clothes), so I've always comforted myself with the thought that in just a few weeks I'd be able to finally shop. I've had it stuck in my head that by the end of July, I would know what I was having. Well, my doctor dropped a bombshell on us yesterday. Yes, 20 week ultrasounds are routine, but since I just had one at 15 weeks (when there was fear that I had a cyst, even though I did not), he would not order another one until 30 weeks. That's September!! I couldn't even believe it. Everyone I know has gotten one at around 20 weeks and been allowed to find out the sex if they wanted to. Now I'm not even begin given the option! I practically begged him, and he said there was no medically justifiable reason to order one. Which is such BS. First of all, I have GD and the baby's growth should probably be monitored more than that (GD often leads to overly big babies). Second, whether there is true reason or not, I know many, many women whose doctors have told a little white lie for them to make the ultrasound appear medically necessary so insurance would pay for it. (For instance, one woman's doctor fudged her uterine growth so that they could order an ultrasound to check for appropriate fetal growth.) But apparently, I have the most uptight doctor in the world. So essentially I am screwed because I had bad round ligament pain early. That's the only reason the other ultrasound was ordered. I do realize that I only know it was wasted in hindsight, of course, and I don't think I shouldn't have had it then, but it's so frustrating for me to know that I can't finally learn my baby's sex for almost three more months because I was having a perfectly normal pregnancy at 15 weeks. What's even more frustrating is that, at 15 weeks, sex can be at least tentatively determined, but the tech said it's "not possible" until 20 weeks (which is just outright untrue - I know many women who have found out before then, one as early as 13 weeks), so she wouldn't even try to look for me. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is not that big of a deal - after all, the baby is healthy, and that's all that really matters. But during pregnancy, you get yourself so attached to milestones that when one is suddenly given a huge delay, that it's hard not to be disappointed.
Anyway, I'm looking into alternate ways for me to get an ultrasound early, but they either involve lying or paying a lot of money out of pocket, neither of which I am comfortable with. So in the interim, Nate and I came up with one way to help us cope. The thing I'm most disappointed about - far more so than the clothing issue - is that we have to continue referring to the baby as "the baby," "it," or "he/she," all of which I HATE. There is really nothing we can do about the he/she issue, but I did come up with the bright idea of choosing a totally genderless name that we could use at least until we know the sex, whether that be at 30 weeks or at birth, rather than just saying "the baby." Since I'm due in November, we decided to think of Thanksgiving-ish names. We were throwing out food names, Pilgrim names, Indian names, everything. Then it dawned on me that Nate and I both love football, which is of course a Thanksgiving tradition, so I started trying to come up with football related names. Out of nowhere, I thought of the fact that, every Thanksgiving, John Madden makes a big deal out of Turducken (for those of you not in the know, Turducken is apparently a holiday dish that is a chicken served inside a duck served inside a turkey). So I blurted out Turducken, just jokingly, and we both laughed heartily at it. But as the laughter subsided, both of us decided we actually kind of liked it! And wouldn't you know it, at the very moment we decided that maybe we should go with Turducken, the baby started squirming all over. We took that to mean that was his/her vote! :) However, I'm not a huge fan of any name for my baby that starts with "turd," so we came up with the perfect nickname (which makes sense, since both of the real names we have picked out are also nicknames for longer formal names) - Duckie! I just think it's cute. So from now until we know the gender, to avoid referring to our future child as "it," "the baby," etc., we will now just call him/her Duckie. I know it's really silly, but it helps make us feel a little better about waiting, so I'm all for it. Who knows, maybe I'll find a way to get an ultrasound soon, and it will all be moot anyway, but in the interim, we'll be talking everyday to our little Duckie!
On a totally unrelated note, I met with the nutritionist today about my GD, who was just the nicest, sweetest lady and it went so well that I'm feeling much more positive. She totally designed this plan just for me, taking into account my food preferences and such. For instance, orange juice is usually discouraged because it leads to such a sugar spike, but I mentioned that I find it easier to take my vitamins with OJ, so she found a way to let me have 4 oz of OJ as one of my fruit servings. I also told her that I'm not a big vegetable fan and that I find it difficult to eat them, so she bulked up my fruit intake and told me to try to have a salad everyday, but that between the fruit and the prenatals, I'd be OK if that was all I got. Also, I was so relieved to find that the finger prick to measure my blood hurts much less with the device I got than with the one the nurse used for my test last week. And I did it 100% by myself, so I know it wasn't just that the nutritionist had good technique or something. It's really nearly painless. So all in all, the meeting was very comforting and I have gained much more confidence that I really can handle this, which is perhaps the most important factor in how well I do. The only things I'm still worried about are how I will handle almost completely cutting sugar out of my diet and, ironically, whether or not I can actually eat 2300 calories a day! I've never eaten that much on a daily basis in my life!
Whew! I really need to not go a week between updates. :) Until later (but hopefully not too much later!), Duckie and I say, "Goodbye!"