"Don't move, or I'll start telling my life story!" of course or young hero was now filled with incredible fright, for you must understand, villians were known for their most powerful weapon of all. Telling their horribly long life stories, and lots of incredibly annoying, and long monologues, which wasted most of the time in which the fight actually should have been held. This was why quests were often so many years long, as every bad guy they ran into told them their life story, or at least most. Anyhow, hearing these words our fearful hero stood their pleading with The Magus. The Magus told him to find him a child, a fifteen year old mage apprentice that he was looking for. Our young hero ran off immediately in fear of The Magus.

By now the two scholars had found out about Joe, and one sent a messanger to get him to come to them (this was before he had mysteriously vanished) for a chat. Soon enough he arrived saying his famous line about him being a bottle cap wielding axe murderer named Jeff, and then bowed before the two scholars. Soon enough the were quoting lines from "The Texts of Antidisestablishmentarianism" like the famous line:
"Antidisestablishmentarianism can be told as a doctrine for the dissiloution of establishmentarianism, but if that is the proper state of mind then wherefore, oh wherefore art thou antiegodistplacementsyndrome?" Joe, or Jeff, or whichever and whatever name you wish to call him by was notorious for his persuasive mannerisms, and therefore the scholars announced that they had chosen him to be taught the ways of the scholars. Now, the real plan behind this was that they would teach him these things, so that he could do battle with the Knight of Spar Piz Jazz, the evil knights who roamed the nearby forest killing all with their evil ways. But they did not tell Jeff, or Joe, etc. this, for it was a great honor to be apprenticed under these masters, so therefore he said nothing and took it as a compliment and accomplishment of his fine work from earlier.

Now after many days Joe, or Jeff, or whomever and whatever you so politely wish to call him by, came upon the Knight of Spar Piz Jazz whence he found they were across a bridge who was guarded by a rather large ogre.
"Answer me this riddle and you may pass. What is it that a woman wants more than anything in the world?" now of course this riddle was rather well known, across the world and the answer had been told in many tales.
"I know! It is to have her own will!" and he had to have been right, for there had been many atime he had been asked this, but the ogre merely shook his head and responded
"No fool, the answer is me!" and with that Jeff (or Joe, etc.) gave a mighty laugh at the ogre and recited something rather incredibly stupid about how he really wouldn't be wanted by any girl in the world as he was so incredibly ugly. Then the ogre tried to leap at him but slipped, and fell backwards off the bridge and into the river below whence upon he was dashed to pieces. Now Jeff (or Joe, or whomever) travelled across the bridge and found himself soon enough right upon the Knights of Spar Piz Jazz's territorial area and such.

Italicized Text = Narrator Speaking

Back to the Quest for the Holy Graal
Back to Other's Stories
Back to the animated World of Night (WoN) Site
Back to the unanimated World of Night (WoN) Site