Lesson 23: Stay away from cannibals and cross-dressing trolls

"What is with this place?" muttered Scortin as he entered the strange gate to the dance party. There outside stood a large orc bouncer.
"May we enter?" asked Scortin and his group.
"Anything for you cutie!" replied the bouncer. As soon as the group got in Scortin ran! As he continued looking around there was a disco dancing pixie, a hobgolbin in a speedo, and even a dwarf in a tuxedo and a cross-dressing troll. This was a crazy party.
"I guess things couldn't get any worse." but that's when they did, for he realized that today was national Polka Day. Then a gnome decided to "test" his new autoloading crossbow and toaster. They ran from the dance party. They then met salivating natives who started throwing butter and spices at everyone instead of spears. Once more they ran, it was dusk now, and our young hero's group were out of holy water and stakes, their guns were empty, and the ground started to shake as if it were being dug through beneath their feet. Once more they ran. It turned out to be an earthquake.

A drunken mad-man claimed that he recovered a dragon hoard and return to town and saw the local tax collector as he entered. But in truth it was really just a rabid pack of mother-in-laws, not dragons.
"This place seems dangerous.. are you sure there are no traps?" our young hero asked the young mage, the two of them and Scortin were the only ones still alive.
"Yeah, I am POSITIVE there are no traps..." Another man claimed that a stone giant baby thought the man was his daddy and wanted a piggy-back ride. Another drunk man sped in, talking very quickly to the other two drunks, sitting at a table near Scortin, our young hero, and the young mage.
"I'm sorry I'm late. I got infected by a highly contagious designer virus that kills within a few days and I had to rewrite my will." he murmered. With that the other two drunks stumbled up, and moved away. As the three read over the menu it listed them as a delicacy.
"Gross! They serve Sauted human.. and Fried human.. and boiled human.. and even live human! Gosh, maybe we should order that, and save someone's life..." two of them decided on pasta instead, our young hero, who wasn't very hungry after reading the menu, and much more noble than the other two, saved a person's life. The next morning, entering a forest glen, the next day our young hero surprises a group of bloodthirsty amazons sunbathing au naturel. Once more he ran, bumping into a henchman for Urug the Evil Leader Dude. He made a point of flossing his teeth in front of our young hero, but used barbed wire instead of dental floss. And that's when our young hero once more ran.

"It doesn't matter whether there's a reason to run or not, if you happen to be so unfortunate as to have put on cursed boots of running. You just...run." one scholar chuckled to the other. They were drunk again.

Italicized Text = Narrator Speaking

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