Lesson 22: Why *Not* to take the 100 Lb Diamond off the altar

And of course, by now the two scholars were arguing over why not to take that 100 lb diamond off the altar, you know, the one our young hero was now attempting to take.
"Gee, sure are a lot of bone fragments and metal scraps on the floor..." our young hero had noticed. That probably would have been a very good reason, had the scholars thought of it.

"You only brought 10 lbs of sand." smirked the younger of the two
"Dammit Jim! I'm a thief, not a forklift!" he snickered. By now the other scholar, the more elderly of the two he devised quite a lengthy plan on why not to take the diamond.
"The diamond is actually carefully placed! On the Summer Soltice, the sun comes through the only window. This solitary beam of light is directed through the diamond which refocuses it into a laser beam which is directly channeled downward. This laser heats a vast cavern of water beneath the island. The superheated water created such vast pressure that the cavern acts like a steam filled ballon. The island only floats due to this pressure. If the diamond is removed, the water cools and the island sinks. This has been known to create very unhappy islanders. If you know what I mean." and the younger scholar smirked at this and retorted with an even less realistic plan.
"Because it'll just end up on the ring-finger of the half-troll princess whom you hadn't intended to become entrothed to; save for the fact that her brother misheard you during the bar room fight (between your party and his) saying, "I'm gonna bury you," thinking you had said "I'm gonna marry you." (Incidentally, the fight quickly dissolves into a lot of rough hugging)" and with that the elderly scholar burst into laughter. And the two spent the night scheming up ingenious plans.
"Because there it is bloody likely that something that weighs one heck of a lot more than 100lbs is guarding it!" grinned a smirking elderly scholar. But meanwhile our young hero was again having quiet the argument with me.

So let me get this straight- you can carry a long sword in your right hand, have a shield equipped on your left arm, the maiden over your shoulder- no backpack mind you- carry the 100lb diamond in the crook of your arm and still climb back up the 300 foot cliff. All righty then.
"Yeah, that's right narrator!"
And then he saw a hat and a whip on a pile of ash nearby. It was a brown hat. Guess whom it might have been owned by? That famous explorer himself. Africana Joans. Obviously there was some sort of trap. And that was all. Anyhow, as he continued looking he saw that the only exit from the altar chamber was an underground river, and the guy that tried to swim his way out sunk like... a 100lb. diamond.

Italicized Text = Narrator Speaking

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