Soon Scortin was out of the Land of the
Danm-Ed, and found himself in a forest when he came to a large clearing. In
the dead center of this clearing was a large gazebo.
"Did it notice me narrator?" No...It's a gazebo.
"I cast detect magic narrator. Is it magical?" he asked me. No....it's..it's
a gazebo.
"I cast detect evil" It's not evil. IT'S A GAZEBO!
"I throw a rock at it. Does it notice me now?" NO! IT'S A GAZEBO!
"Fine, I attack it. Does it notice me now?" NO!
"But it's Excalibur!!"BUT IT'S A GAZEBO!
"Ok I slash it." FINE! You have angered the Gazebo gods! They animate
the gazebo and it eats you!
"Oh shut-up narrator." you still don't know what a gazebo IS, do
you?"
"Shut-up narrator." and that was pretty much how the conversation
ended.
By now Jeff (or whomever he really was)
awoke to the noise of horse hooves clomping. And there stod the not-so-majestic
nights of Spar Piz Jazz dressed in their fancy plates of shining silver armor.
Their black horses snorted and troted into the clearing, their rider's pompous
noses and chests stuck high up into the air in a ( well what they thought was
a ) dignified mannerism. Immediatley Jeff leapt down with all his teachings
from the scholars rushing through his mind he shouted at the top of his lungs
to them
"Antiegodisplacementsyndrome affects only a minor population of anomorphous
figures, but when the antidisestablishementarianism of yourself lingers, then
please lift up your middle fingers and yell that it is supercalafragilisticexpealidocious!"
and suddenly all the Knight of Spar Piz Jazz leapt off their horses and bowed.
For this was the trademark of someone sacrificing himself, unfortunatley the
scholars thought it was the trademark of someone who was their ruler. But they
forgot a few minor details, like that it had to be spoken in Nibinese, which
of course neither of them knew at the time. And you can probably imagine the
rest, him thinking he was going to their palace, them fattening him up, then
burning him at the stake on their sacrficial altar, and that was how Jeff/Joe/whomever
or whatever you wish to call him died and met his untimely death and disappeared,
never to be seen again in this world. The scholars were puzzled at why he never
returned but soon enough found out later when they were researching the language
Nibinese, and that is the story of Jeff, which really has nothing much to do
with this story, except show that the two scholars were sometimes careless in
their readings and made mistakes often, which was probably a rather important
thing to know later.
Meanwhile of course the two scholars were sitting still arguing over and discussing how many monkeys could be fit into a barrel, rather than how many chickens could be fit in a goblet. Now of course it was a well known fact that monkeys could not be melted down as their bones were much too thick and their skin went an oily and pasty colour which was probably considered a bad thing unless you were a shaman or witch doctor considering to get a degree in hardwear and school supplies by making a ew type of glue for people allergic to incenirated cow guts and horse hooves that had recently been mashed to a rather fine paste and had been cooked up by some Nibinese.
Italicized Text = Narrator Speaking
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