2000 review from Frank Vijt (Belgium) [Marina] [Catherine] [Ed]

That time of year again, and what better location than one Globen, built after the image of the girl who brought the event to Stockholm. If she couldn't be there in person, at least she was in spirit and image.   The big empty ball was all dressed up for the occasion, and so were the 20something-thousand winners of the annual ticket lottery. No year's supply of lightbulbs this time and the giggling girls from the Kasbah weren't there either. No, everything was done in style and perfectly organised. And we even got synchronised sound and vision. They don't allow us any fun now, do they?

So, straight on to the main menu of tonight: the 24 acts of the EuroVISION songcontest 2000!!

Israel
What was it? Four eager teenagers with an appetite for fresh vegetables who the IBA picked off the streets of downtown Stockholm
What happened? Deckel and Sheckel wanted to do the 3-minute rap they rehearsed all through the 1999 edition to the same backing track, but they missed the plane.
What did they think? Mum, I'm on TV!
What happened afterwards? The International Table Tennis Organisation is sueing them for bringing their name into disrespute.

Netherlands
What was it? A giant Christmas package with lots of glittery ribbons.
What happened? The NOS confused the phone numbers for their preselection with those for the annual drag queen competition. Gerard Joling will look great in a dress.
What did they think? I'm making an absolute fool of myself
What happened afterwards?.The Dutch Army wants their air balloon back.

United Kingdom
What was it? Steps' older sister, the one with the talent.
What happened? Jonathan King was too busy playing Kazoo with some sick chicks to notice.
What did they think? And 1, 2, 3, kick, 1, 2, 3, kick and 1, 2, 3, turn and left, right, left, right
What happened afterwards?.They won't play that song again

Estonia
What was it? Shania Twain and Marlayne's adopted baby sister .
What happened? EETV had shown the movie "Even Cowgirls get the blues" the night before
What did they think? Where's that bloody camera this time?
What happened afterwards?.Once in her lifetime Ines will smile.

France
What was it? Chiara's cousin from Morocco.
What happened?.Nothing much - Marie Myriam wanted her annual minute of fame
What did they think? Lydia had warned me about this
What happened afterwards?.The backinggirl in purple was allowed to go to the toilet

Romania
What was it?.Dino teaming up with Angela Wiedl
What happened? After they tried following up the 93 winner in 98, they decided Luna was enough of a Nocturne to enter Eurosong 2000
What did they think? Did I remember to lock my bicycle?
What happened afterwards? In 2002 RTV will select the natural follow-up for Love Shine a Light

Malta
What was it?.Claudette synchronising all Pace-makers to a Latin beat
What happened? All the 78 other songs in the selection marathon were ballads or written by Chris and Moira
What did they think? Stop moaning. Charlotte's dress was worse than mine!
What happened afterwards? The choir, unwilling to pay for their own holiday, left their phonenumber with all the heads of delegation, whilst Claudette rushed to Belgium to get the Barbara Dex Award

Norway
What was it?.The wicked witches of the North
What happened? The other candidates in the preselection got afraid, very afraid
What did they think? I should've left those other two at home - they can't sing
What happened afterwards? They cast a spell on anything purple.

Russia
What was it?.Britnia Spirsnokova
What happened? Papa said it would be all right
What did they think? My father should've sacked that lyricist
What happened afterwards? The vice squad arrested Alsou. Her manager caught a cold and she gave him her handkerchief.

Belgium
What was it?.Beatrice's dress and Melanie Cohl's suit recycled in a 3minute edit of a 12minute gospel medley
What happened? Nayah was on the Belgian jury
What did they think? I can do it, I can do it, I can really sing!
What happened afterwards? Natalie rushed home to take the curtains back to aunt Linda and beat Claudette to the Barbara Dex Award

Cyprus
What was it?.The ancient Greek Theatre doing "Everything you can shout, I can shout louder"
What happened? All songwriters under 85 had refused to enter, in protest at the Marlain disaster.
What did they think? Like my sleeves - do you like my sleeves - watch my sleeves -run forever free!
What happened afterwards? Alex will take part in the Dutch drag queen competition and will end up singing for the Netherlands next year.

Iceland
What was it?.The Danish 99 couple after a year abroad clubbing in Amsterdam
What happened?.Heart 2 Heart had split up.
What did they think? The one that I want, you are the one I want, ooh ooh ooh Honey!
What happened afterwards? Thelma and Selma will team up as the Viking Queens.

Spain
What was it?.A man in a black suit singing a ballad
What happened? The spanish televoters were under the impression they had to choose the song that sounded the most like all their previous songs.
What did they think? Stevie Wonder would not be doing this
What happened afterwards? Azucar Moreno's sisters ordered black suits for the Spanish final 2001.

Denmark
What was it?.Two rock'n'roll kids proving good music knows no age
What happened? Quite simply, the right thing.
What did they think? They love me, yeah, yeah, yeah!
What happened afterwards? Tommy Seebach wants to enter again. Damn you, Olsen brothers!

Germany
What was it?.Good question.
What happened? Ralph Siegel teamed up with Corinna May.
What did they think? I hope my mother isn't watching this.
What happened afterwards?.Turkey has to give their tanks back. No points, no gifts.
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Switzerland
What was it?.A Swiss entry.
What happened?. Lara Fabian refused to take part
What did they think? If that woman behind me doesn't shut up soon, I'll get very mad
What happened afterwards?.SRG regrets they didn't go for the purple cows background after all

Croatia
What was it?.Vili Resnik's twin brother and a heap of black cotton .
What happened? Ms.Ksenija forgot to call the juries with voting instructions
What did they think?.If that thing keeps moving, I'll slam it with my microphone stand
What happened afterwards?.HRT will select strippers only for the next Dora. It saves work .

Sweden
What was it?.The Great Yeti
What happened? The Viking Kings really got stuck in Stockholm.
What did they think?.I hope nobody will realise I'm Dschingis Kahn
What happened afterwards?.The Spirits went calling him names

Macedonia
What was it?.Very funny.
What happened? Another unfortunate mix up. This time with the Children's Karaoke Contest.
What did they think?.Why do those other three sing a different tune from me?
What happened afterwards?.Some thought it wasn't that funny anymore.

Finland
What was it? A little bit of sponsering by the Geography Channel.
What happened? At the last moment they found out Elakoon Elamaa had already taken part
What did they think?.Where's Belen when you need her? Now what's the capital of Slovakia again?
What happened afterwards?.All Finnish hairdressers returned from their holiday abroad.

Latvia
What was it?.The salesman from the secondhand clothesshop and his art-student friends.
What happened? The preselection was sponsored by a chemical company
What did they think?.I didn't have this problem with my leg yesterday. Gotta stop drinking.
What happened afterwards?.Brainstorm look straight ahead into the future

Turkey
What was it? A refreshing touch of Pinar Colada
What happened? Blame it on the Bossa Nova
What did they think? Wooh, I'm going to Barbados!
What happened afterwards?.TRT is sending free telephonecards next year to all Turkish immigrants in Germany.

Ireland
What was it?.Michael Bolton having a bad hair day.
What happened? The RTE Plan to make sure ESC wouldn't come to the point again almost backfired.
What did they think?. I can't believe they're actually buying this crap I tell them
What happened afterwards?.RTE is approaching the Mullans again and Eamonn Toal married Ralph Siegel.

Austria
What was it?. The Weather Girls teaming up with Whoopi Goldberg .
What happened? When ORF signed up Dave Moskin, they had no idea he was gonna deliver his song in two annual parts
What did they think?.This is no fun. I'd much rather be singing "Anton aus Tirol".
What happened afterwards?.Someone assured his voters that that kind of thing wouldn't have happened to the Alpenglüh Trio

After a 5 minute long commercial, which some mistook for the interval act, the voting went on as usual and resulted, as usual, in attributing the award to the one song no-one of the self-appointed experts had expected to win. Against all trends and fashions, Eurovision will remain itself...