Signs from the Simpsons

• Springfield Auto Show. We salute the American worker. Now 61% drug free!
• Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. As seen on 60 minutes.
• Blood donors needed. We buy blood. Turkey day special $12.00.
• The Lucky Stiff funeral home. "We put the fun in funeral"
• Stinking Fish Realty. With a name this bad. We've got to be good.
• Toxic Waste. Do not eat.
• Happy Hour: 5:00 to 5:30.
• Give a hoot! Read a book.
• Home Security Trust. We're not a Saving & Loan.
• Grandma's World. For the old lady in all of us.
• Merry Widow Insurance Co.
• New Bedlam. Rest home for the emotionally interesting.
• Ye Olde Off-Ramp Inn. We're now Rat-Free! Little miss Springfield pageant tonight!
• I can't believe it's a law firm!
• Ladies night. Unescorted ladies drink free.
• Krusty's non-narkotik kough syrup for kids.
• Springfield Martial Arts Academy. Springfield mall - next to Shakespeare's
• fried chicken.
• Yiddle's. Practical jokes, magic tricks, and medical supplies.
• Discount Lion Safari. If you can find a cheaper lion, you must be in Africa.
• Clumsy Student Movers.
• Who's to know motel.
• Get a mammogram, man!
• Jittery Joe's Coffee Shop.
• Prohibition got you down? Drink Doctor Duff's health tonic.
• Friends don't let friends drive. It's always time for Duff.
• The Krusty home pregnancy test. Warning: May cause birth defects!
• Krusty brand sulfuric acid.
• Springfield Retirement Castle. Where the elderly can hide from the inevitable.
• Wall E. Weasel's (pizza place). We cram fun down your throat.
• Springfield Penitentiary. America's fastest growing prison.
• Native American Ice Cream (formerly "Big Chief Crazy Cone")
• Springfield Mystery Spot. Where logic takes a holiday and all laws of nature are meaningless.
• Diz-Nee-Land. Not affiliated with Disneyland, Disney World, or anything else from the Walt Disney Company.
• Springfield Sperm Bank. Put your sperm in our hands.
• Entering Badlands. High-speed chases use diamond lane.
• Simply Shoes and athletic equipment, and active wear.
• Temple Beth Springfield. Rabbi Hyman Krustofski. This Saturday: "Coping with Christmas"
• Movie Titles:
  • I'll fry your face III
  • The smell in room 19
  • Honey, I hit a school bus.
  • Look who's oinking
  • The stockholm affair
  • Ernest Vs. The Pope.
  • XXX Sperm of endearment. I'll do anyone.
  • For your thighs only
  • Crocodile done me
• VHS Village. Formerly the beta barn.
• Veterans of popular wars.
• Video Tapes: Football's greatest injuries.
• Cathedral of the Downtown: Archbishop Carries Less Than $20
• Krusty's non toxic Kologne. Warning: use in a well-ventilated area. May stain furniture. May cause chemical burns.
• Pool Sharks: Where the Buyer is our Chum
• Gummy bears--candy that hibernates in your colon
• Springfield Psychiatric Center--"Because there may not be bugs on you"