The Giant Slug Brigade


What is the Giant Slug Brigade?

The Giant Slug Brigade is a group (actual size unknown) of rather large slugs, whose sole purpose is to devour the cabbage population of the world.

What Can I do?

It is strongly recommended that all cabbages take precautionary measures against slug attacks. First of all, every cabbage should be in possession of a
portable cabbage converter which allows the user to convert and anti-convert at the touch of a button any time, any place. For those with a more offensive outlook on the problem, Slugs Begone!, a formula which transforms slugs into peaceful cabbages is also available for download.
To obtain either of these items, simply follow the link and click on the picture of the item you wish to obtain (if using Windows, with the right mouse button) until a menu pops up. Choose "Save (Image) as.." and it will be downloaded to your hard drive, where you will have full access to it.

Recent Happenings

  • 10th January 2000 - The slug alert in October seems to have been a false alarm as the Slug Brigade has made no further threats and cabbages worldwide have enjoyed safe and slug-free Year 2000 celebrations.

  • 14th October 1999 - After more than two years of dormancy, it seems the Slug Brigade has returned! Habbage received the following disturbing messages from "General Sly M.E. Limacidae" of the "Slug Brigade Reborn" today!
      Fear us. We are returned and hungry. General Sly M.E. Limacidae New Slug Brigade

A later message contained just two words - "Cole slaw!". But we have naught to fear! A new weapon to aid in the fight against slugs has been developed - the Cabbageblaster 2000!

The Cabbageblaster 2000

If any further serious threat is shown, contact will be made with the Cabbage Berzerkers and the Veggie Squad, the former Alliance's two militant branches which are ready and willing to defend their green comrades over the world and the cabbage way of life!

  • 1st August 1999 - The Cabbage Alliance was discontinued, partly due to the lack of slug activity over the past two years.

    11th August 1998 - The Slug Brigade have been defeated by the combined efforts of The Cabbage Berzerkers and The Veggie Squad! Using Iodisers loaded with Slugs Begone salt, the two groups infiltrated the slug's headquarters once again and its members dissipated around the world. But, for how long?

  • 31st July - The Cabbage Berzerkers managed to infiltrate the Slug Brigade's base and save Casey Cabbage from the clutches of the grey slimy ones! Read about their daring mission straight from the keyboard of Berzerker Alpha.

    31st July - Casey the Cabbage sent pleas for help to the Cabbage Berzerkers.

      Erik the Purple, So far, five other cabbages have been caught. That makes six of us! Try and hurry, they have already stated their evil plans to turn us into cabbage eating slugs!! We can only hold out a little longer - Casey The Cabbage We have been moved to a highly slug populated area near Old Faithful in Yellow Stone park. Please hurry - one of us can't..... be ... saved he is already......a...... slug.. AACK the rest of us will ICK try to hold........ on to our Cabbage ........lives HAHAHA YOU WILL NEVER WITHSTAND THIS POTION YOU FOOL GIVE UP NOW!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 29th July - I received news from Captain Cabbage of his situation.
      Circumstances mean we must act now.
      I have escaped the Slug Brigade prison with The Veggie Squad 
      and am ready to attack.
      Armed with the new slugs-be-gone salt we shall defeat the 
      Slug Brigade for good.
      I suggest Habbage coordinates the attack from the Cabbage HQ 
      while Casey and Erik with The Cabbage Berzerkers help me and 
      the Veggie Squad attack.
      Yours in battle
      Captain Cabbage

  • 29th July - I received most disturbing news of Erik the Purple, Berzerker Alpha. According to his correspondence he was kidnapped by the Slug Brigade, left to starve for days on end and nearly devoured, but was cunning enough to escape the evil and not overly intelligent slugs. Unfortunately he was badly damaged in the attack, and has had to acquire several cybernetic limbs.

  • 25th July - I have returned from the Cabbage conference. Slug activity fortunately seems to be at an all-time low.

  • 17th July - I left for a Cabbage conference and will be away for the next 3 or 4 days. Alliance membership, and long-distance conversion will be suspended until then. Erik the Purple and the Berzerkers will be left in charge of the Alliance.

  • 16th July - The invasion of the Cabbage Alliance was averted when Berzerker V (Gabby Cabbage) cleverly placed beer around Cabbage HQ, distracting the invading slugs sufficiently to iodize them into oblivion.

  • 15th July - The Slugs have attacked!! The Page That Turns You into a Cabbage has been invaded and is now "The Page That Turns You into a Slug"!!!!!!! No causalities have so far been reported but the slugs are moving fast!

  • 15th July - Gabby Cabbage alerted me of this most disturbing piece of news.

      HABbage!!!!!!! I have terrible news!!! I couldn't email you cuz it would 
      be too late!!  I can't talk for very long. Luckily I used my handy 
      Cabbage communicator.   Anyway, the Slugs have planned beyond what we 
      thought they were capable of!!  I can see them coming in from the 
      distance from my Garden Quarters.  They are moving into our territory 
      and into the Cabbage Alliance.  I know you may not believe me cuz slugs 
      are so slow, but you have to warn everyone quick! And I mean quick! 
      They should reach the Cabbage Alliance at approximately 1900, 7:00 eastern 
      time TODAY!!!!  That would be Noon New Zealand time!!! 
      We gotta clear out or something and I gotta save 
      my-`#!$ self!!!!!!!! Ah...$#...hhh!!!!

      -Gabby Cabbage

  • 14th July- The Cabbage Berzerkers gained another four members.

    • Berzerker Beta AKA Johnny Cabbage
    • Berzerker Gamma AKA Merp
    • Berzerker Delta AKA LeafGirl
    • Berzerker V AKA Gabby Cabbage
    • Berzerker VI AKA Chester

    Together this group of fearless cabbages will defend the Cabbage Alliance against the evil slugs.

  • 12th July - I formulated Slugs-be-gone salt, which will be used as ammunition in the Cabbage Berzerker's Iodizers.


  • 11th July - Devoted Cabbage Alliance member, Erik the Purple responded to the Cabbage Alliance update concerning the Slug Brigade with an offer of help.

      Oh mighty Cabbage, I ask for permission to save our Cabbages behind enemy
      lines. I have begun work on the iodizer, a top secret weapon of mass
      destruction for slug kind, but I have began to recruit brave Cabbages
      that want to defend the Alliance. 
      Each will be issued an iodizer with which to defend themselves. 
      The name of the force will be the CABBAGE BERZERKERS. We need 
      brave cabbages to join up ASAP, I will begin contact missions 
      to CAPTAIN CABBAGE and CASEY CABBAGE. I will transmit new plans
      for their own iodizers, if it's not already too late {perish the thought}
      Now cabbages are suppose to be kind and gentle, but we need a force to protect us. So to all cabbages that are willing to join me and fight back, begin training hard (we except no wilted leaf Cabbages, we need strong leaves) So get out in the sun and build some leafs brothers and sisters, more plans to come.

      Thank you for considering me worthy to help oh Mighty Cabbage.



  • 10th July - Another report from Casey Cabbage
      Yesterday I looked over some of the slug's mail 
      (not email) there was some funny stuff in that pile 
      of mail. ;).
      The slug that's supposed to watch me (he doesn't do that 
      much though) has a girlfriend named Cindy Slug, 
      she sent him a picture of herself and yuk she was 
      UGLY.  Other letters were bills but the last letter was 
      a letter from a CABBAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
      The name was kinda hard to read but it said:
      Dear Captain of the slugs, There is an impostor in the Brigade. It went on explaining about ME, so I'm not going to the brigade today. Casey the Cabbage

  • 10th July - A Cabbage Alliance update was sent to all members warning them of the new threat.

  • 28th June - I received news of the Brigade after an ominous silent period of several weeks, in the following message from Casey the Cabbage.
      It's true I heard the slug's plan while I was walking down the street. They said that one of them will join the Cabbage Alliance, and pretend to be a cabbage, so they can figure out any stuff in the Cabbage Alliance. Then when they know all they need to know, pow! They attack. :( -Casey the Cabbage

  • 8th June - A third report of Slug activities from Casey the Cabbage came in...

      I'm in the brigade - I was accepted!  I wore a disguise this 
      time, it was a good thing I did too, cuz the slug that 
      interviewed me was wearing glasses!  He asked me 
      strange slug questions I didn't understand very well, 
      but I could make out some of the words and answer 
      enough right to be accepted in :).
      The Recent News About The Slug Brigade
      They have already started rebuilding the lab there, and they're working VERY fast. At the rate they're working they'll be done in at least only one week! I found the antidote in the stupid fort like place. I wrote it down but was caught! I had to think quick, I told the slug that I was copying it down for the leader, and was to burn the WHOLE book after I was finished, well... there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is I successfully burnt the book after copying the antidote, the bad news is they DID catch me. I got in trouble and am stuck under strict supervision; I still can listen to plans and write it down in my note pad :) but it will be harder.

      Gotta go I'm on the slug's computer and he's coming back,
      -Casey the Cabbage
      P.S. the only reason he let me alone is cuz I'm strapped to a chair :)

  • 8th June - I received the second report from Casey.
      I was at the capitol of the slug brigade today. They looked right at me and said are you a new member? I wasn't even in a disguise! I was as my own cabbage self! So I quickly said "ya I am", and they let me in I'm beginning to think that this mission won't be that dangerous after all :).

      Slug News
      1. They THINK that one of the REAL slug members stole the poor cabbages.

      2. I stole the recipe for their cabbage killing missile, so they have to start over. That should stall them to a later date.

      3. Their lab set on fire today, so it'll be a long time before they can start research on their cabbage killing missile.

  • 6th June - The first report came in from Casey...
      The slugs have been working on a missile which, when launched, will make cabbages go bad (as in rotten). I have saved the poor cabbages that were cabbagenapped for experiments. I have been working on an antidote. I am very close to helping these poor cabbages.

  • 6th June - Casey the Cabbage accepted the dangerous mission.

  • 5th June - I asked Casey the Cabbage if she would like to take part in a mission to infiltrate the Slug Brigade.

  • 3rd July- I received this message from Casey Cabbage.

      I hate slugs! Yesterday my brother (Mr. Purple) was in my backyard and was threatened by a slug! I almost decided to use my research in bombs and make one that would kill all slugs world wide (only slugs). But I decided not to. I found more info on the upcoming attack. It will be sometime in August but I have no official date from them. I'll snoop some more today and see if I can learn anything more out. -Casey the Cabbage

  • 30th March - The Slug Brigade somehow managed to get into the GuestLeaf (an amazing feat considering it always seems to be out-of-order).

  • 28th March 1997 - I received my first indication of the presence of the Slug Brigade from Captain Cabbage (formerly Colin the Cabbage), who was at the time setting up a sub-group of the Cabbage Alliance.

       Dear HABbage
      The sub-group is still in the preparation stages since we had a disaster just recently with the 'giant slug brigade' attacking out group. Sadly we lost a few of them but those that survived are making excellent recoveries. Anyway, how is the cabbage alliance growing? Are there many more .....oh my God.........They've found me.........I don't know how.........but they have.............farewell.........this may be.......the.......last.......message..........ever..................

      Be warned cabbages! We are here and we shall not be defeated! Surrender Cabbage Alliance. We leave our mark of destruction wherever we go. We are everywhere, all seeing and all knowing! We know where you live! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

      The Giant Slug Brigade.

    Fortunately, Captain Cabbage survived the surprise attack with the help of the quickly formulated Slug-to-cabbage formula, Slugs Begone!
    "The Page That Turns You into a Cabbage" was at once armed with "Slugs Be gone" to prevent infiltration by slugs.

    Slugs Begone

    Slug News in The Cabbage Times

    Hosted by