Having dinner with my boss - I need a date! - 27
Reply to: anon-64113046@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-03-16, 7:34PM EST
Okay, here's the deal-
I'm looking for a stunningly attractive woman to accompany me for dinner with my boss and his wife this Saturday night.
This is a career making opportunity for me. It's very difficult getting time on my boss' schedule; I feel like I've been working on this proposal for ever. If things go well it could mean big things.
What's in it for you: Free dinner, a night out. I'm a pretty decent looking guy (see photo), and this is going to be at a pretty upscale restaurant, so dress appropriately (stunning!)
I should warn you that my boss gets a bit handsy when he's drinking. It's okay though! He's harmless and doesn't mean anything by it. He has a girlfriend anyway so his advances aren't likely to progress beyond that. Although that is how he found his girlfriend. If you find that you can't take it, just ask him how his dog is doing and he'll regain his compusure. Just don't mention Diabetes or Coma. Other sensitive subjects, as told to me by my coworkers who've been out on these with him before are unicycles, grapefruit, canned pudding, dwarf-tossing, and brunch. I know these seem easy enough to avoid, but for some reason they keep coming up. And when they do, just remember the dog thing.
About his wife -- She's a vegetarian, but she's under the impression that veal comes from a fruit of some kind. Don't contradict her. And she's prone to looking into other people's purses and "borrowing" things, so keep your purse on the other side, or check it at the door.
Oh, and DON'T order anything with dairy in it if you're going to have a white wine. Unless you like hearing about irritable bowels. But this shouldn't be an issue, since we'll all be drinking cosmopolitans (the "official" company drink for some reason--but don't ask why! Too close to grapefruit).
I know it all sounds complicated, but it's really going to be a fun night.
And please get back to me soon, as I need time to match my outfit to yours.
--- bowchickabowwow wrote:
Best post ever. Nice change-up from all the photos
of large penises.
Well, back to dwarf-tossing! Cheerio.
-stunning on a unicycle
--- Johnson wrote:
Glad you liked the post, THRILLED you got the joke, and I'm sure Richard Marx would appreciate that you don't think he's a big dick, or even an asshole, for that matter.
Attached is a photo of Erik Estrada (CHiPS) for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully this will entice you to share a photo of you on a unicycle. So hot.
photo
--- Brenda@yahoo wrote:
You *almost* captured the essence of the average
craigslist guy. Next time, add a soupcon more of
self-obsession, and ratchet up the looksism a notch,
and you'll have it.
--- Johnson wrote:
Average?? I was aiming for extraordinary, but I suppose that makes your point.
My boss would abhor you. His wife would steal your shoes. But on the bright side, they'd send you assorted jams at Christmas time.
--- Delightfully Sexy wrote:
Are you for real????
--- Johnson wrote:
Absolutely. If you're interested, I'm still conducting background checks (pretty standard, given my boss' position and rank). The response so far has been great, there has been no shortage of stunning women. Unfortunately, it seems some of them weren't born that way. I'm willing to ignore it, but would rather not have to. When my boss' wife and you go to the restroom to "freshen up," which you'll have to about every 12 minutes so she can wash her hands, I'd hate for her to find Mr. Winky and embarass my boss.
I wish I could say that's never happenned to him before.
But if you live up to your name, you stand a good chance. Please send a stunning picture of yourself; on a unicycle is preferable.
- John
--- Delightfully Sexy wrote:
Soare you interested in my photos? If not no problem
(also sent were 20 megabytes worth of photos of her in different settings)
--- Johnson wrote:
Regretfully, no. I was able to secure escort from one of the actresses from the hit TGIF sitcom, "Just the Ten of us." A startling pedigree, and to top it all off, she is an organ donor with all of her original organs.
Thankyou for your interest! Enjoy the veal.
-Pedro
--- Francine wrote:
it almost sounds too unbelievable to miss
--- [email protected] wrote:
that thing about the dog, v.funny! actually, the
whole thing was rather
amusing. one problem, you have a wedding ring on in
the photo! hope the dinner was
fun, please let me know if his wife ordered veal! i
will die laughing
--- Johnson wrote:
OH, the wedding ring....that was just for the photo. I send that out with resumes, it gives the impression of stability. I also wear it to bars, chicks dig it.
Are you sure you're not interested in going? Boss' favorite Starship song is "Sara", and your name is close enough. He likes to sing eighties ballads after his fifth cosmopolitan. He's pretty good too--you could swear you're sitting right next to Richard Marx!