She sat down on the couch and stared at the wall. This was ridiculous. In just two weeks she had created a total disaster. A confusing disaster. She swallowed and shook her head.

Lily stood up and got rid of her coat. Amber wasn’t at the apartment. Lily didn’t know where her friend was and she couldn’t decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. On the one hand she really needed time on her own to get everything clear, but on the other hand she really needed someone - Amber - to talk to.

She sat down again and turned on the TV. She needed distraction. She needed a whole lot of distraction to get her mind off this. But deep in her heart she knew that all the distraction of the world couldn’t really help her. The thoughts would be in her head, the images, the memories. Everything would remain in her head and neither music nor TV could clear them out.

So maybe she should get it over with. Just think about it. Decide what to do and then finally be able to move on again. Move back to Scotland, forget about the last few weeks. Lily realized this wouldn’t solve anything, but for the moment it seemed as the only reasonable solution. Amber wouldn’t agree on it; she knew that. But then again, she also knew that running away was not the right thing to do.

Dominic. Elijah. Why was this so confusing? She didn’t have feelings for them, did she? And if she did have feelings for them, did she feel the same about both of them? She knew she really loved Billy, but he was like an older brother or just a dear friend. She sighed. Why couldn’t all men be like Billy? She immediately got rid of that thought. No, she didn’t really want all men to be like a friend. Imagine the loneliness. Lily sighed again and shook her head.

The door slammed and Amber stepped in. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Lily softly replied. “Where have you been?”

Amber shrugged indifferently. “Nowhere. Why?”

“Well, I thought we would meet up today..”

“Oh, so you suddenly decided to miss me?”

Lily opened her eyes wide. “What?”

“You know what I mean,” Amber bit at her. “You only want to hang out with me if you want to.”

She shook her head. Was Amber really saying this to her? Was the disastrous day not over yet? “You.. you don’t mean that, do you?” she asked, panic in her eyes. If her best friend deserted her, she didn’t know what to do or where to go. Maybe running away to Scotland was the right thing to do.

Amber frowned. “Why wouldn’t I mean it. It’s true.”

“No it’s not! I thought we’d talked about this..”

“Talked about this?” Amber shot back. “We haven’t talked about anything. You just go out everyday; hang out with your friends; snog with Dominic and then come home to me, expecting a warm meal to be prepared for you!”

Lily’s mouth dropped. This was not happening. “I cannot believe you said that. We did talk about it! We discussed it and you were fine with it. I’ve been here all of last week and you knew I had to go to set today. You knew..”

Amber turned her back to Lily and walked into the kitchen.

“Don’t walk away from this!” Lily yelled after her. “That’s weak!”

Furious Amber turned around. “Weak? I’m weak now?! Go back to Scotland. Go to your friends. Go to the gutter. Do whatever you want, just stop pretending to be my friend!”

Tears filled Lily’s eyes as Amber walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. She had to leave. She really had to leave. But she didn’t want to spend time getting all her bags now. She had to leave.

Lily grabbed her coat and stormed out of the door. Where could she go? She didn’t know anyone around here, except for.. She turned left and walked over to the nearest subway, rubbing her eyes.

Fifteen minutes later Lily walked onto the set and wiped away the tears. She looked for familiar faces, but none of her friends could be found anywhere.

“Lily?” she suddenly heard and she turned around. Billy was standing behind her and as she saw him tears started streaming down her cheeks again. “What’s wrong?” he asked and Lily slowly walked up to him.

“We.. we had a fight,” she sobbed.

“Aw Lily,” Billy said and took her in his arms. Lily wrapped her arms around him and cried. She truly cried. “Now tell me.. who did you fight with?” she heard Billy ask.

“A.. Amber..”

“What’s wrong?” she suddenly heard someone else ask. It was Elijah.

“She had a fight with Amber,” Billy explained and Lily’s sobs grew louder as he reminded her of that awful argument. “I’m gonna get you some water,” he then said. He held her a bit back and wiped away some tears.

“You will take care of her when I’m gone?” he asked and Lily glanced over her shoulder at Elijah.

Billy walked away. “Hey..” Elijah softly said and smiled sympathetically at her. She looked at him and tears made their way down again. He took a step forward and put his arms around her.

“Come here.. it’s okay,” he softly whispered in her ear. Lily buried her face in his shirt and even though she knew she shouldn’t enjoy it, concerning the fact she was so sad and of course the Dominic factor, she did enjoy the embrace.

He slowly stroked her back, in the meanwhile whispering sweet words to her. She gradually calmed down and the realization that she must look awful dawned on her. She tried to turn away, but Elijah raised her chin. He smiled sweetly at her. “Are you okay again?” he asked in a voice Lily hadn’t heard from him before. It sounded low, full and warm.

She sort of nodded. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she looked down. “I didn’t know where else to go..”

Elijah smiled again. “That’s alright..”

She bit her lip.

“Here you go,” Billy said as he approached them and he handed over a bottle of water. “I couldn’t find anything else.”

“Thank you,” Lily almost whispered as she took the bottle from him.

Both Billy and Elijah looked at her for a moment. Then Elijah opened his mouth. “I’ve gotta go. I had to be on set at ten and it’s almost a quarter past..”

Lily blushed furiously. It was her fault he was late. She looked down and bit her lip. After a moment she looked up again and discovered Elijah had left. He had gone without saying anything.

Billy smiled at her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “I guess so..”

“Good.. Now you just go sit anywhere and I’ll come looking for you in a bit, okay?” he said as he handed over a book to her.

Lily nodded and took it. “Yeah,” she said inaudible.

She turned around and walked around the area. She was a familiar face now and nobody minded her being there. Lily looked around and noticed a tree in the field of grass. It provided shade from the sun. She sat down against the trunk and opened the book Billy gave to her.

An hour later she turned to page 173. She looked around and saw Elijah approach. Quickly she focussed her attention on the book again.

“Hey,” he said as he stood before her.

Lily looked up in his eyes and immediately started to blush. “Hi,” she softly replied.

He somewhat smiled and crouched. “Are you okay?” His eyes examined her face.

She smiled faintly. “Yeah, I think so.. It was just..”

Elijah nodded. “I know. It sucks, doesn’t it?”

Again she nodded. “I’m sorry you were late this morning.” She bit her lip.

He shrugged and smiled. “Hey you needed me.”

She looked up at him and made a weird gesture with her head. “Yeah, but still.. I’m just a stranger.”

“No you’re not. You’re not a stranger.”

Her blush deepened and a silence fell.

Suddenly Elijah bent over and kissed her on the cheek. “Whenever you need me I’ll be there,” he softly said.

Lily’s heart started beating fast and she looked at him. His face was still so close to hers. Her eyes drifted off to his lips. Close enough to..

He stood up. “I’ve got to go again. I just wanted to make sure you were alright..”

“Okay,” she replied.

He nodded and turned around. Then he started to walk away.

Lily looked down at her book again and read the same sentence over and over again. She closed her eyes. Then she looked up. “Wait!” she shouted and she got up to her feet.

Elijah turned around. “Yeah..?”

She ran towards him and threw her arms over his shoulders. He grabbed her by the waist and Lily pressed her lips on his. And then again and again.

She softly brought her mouth close to his and as their lips touched she slightly opened her mouth. His tongue was there already, in between her lips.

She clutched him and her heart beat so fast that it felt as if it would break out of her chest.

His tongue slowly circled hers.

Then they broke apart and Dominic smiled at her. Lily opened her eyes wide, but Dominic lowered his head to kiss her again.

Lily had nothing else to do but to give in to the kiss. He was so good at kissing. He let go of her a little and Lily looked around. He smiled and then gave her another kiss. “I love -”

“Wakey-wakey,” Billy said and Lily opened her eyes in shock. She brought a hand to her mouth and touched her lips. “You were sleeping,” Billy clarified.

She swallowed. “Yeah.. I figured.”

He smiled at her. “How are you feeling?”

Lily raised her shoulders. “I don’t know. Okay, I guess.”

Billy nodded. “Good to hear. So what are you gonna do next? About Amber I mean.”

“I don’t know. I will have to go back to get my stuff, my bags etcetera, but I don’t really feel like it. And then I think I’ll leave for Glasgow again..” She looked at the ground and picked some of the grass leaves.

“Don’t you think you should talk to Amber? Talk it out?”

Lily shrugged. “I’m not sure. I thought we had discussed everything and talked it out. But apparently we didn’t.” She looked up. “What’s a friendship worth if you can’t even talk? If you say you have talked it out even if you feel that you haven’t?”

He nodded understandingly. “I know, sweetie, but you’ve got to try. You didn’t come here to waste a perfectly good friendship, now did you?”

She shook her head and looked away from his eyes.

“Well then. Go talk to her.”

Lily bit her lip and her eyes found his. “I really have to, don’t I?” she asked and Billy nodded.

“It’s for the best.”

She nodded. “Yeah.. I know..”

Dominic approached with a worried look on his face. Billy and Lily stood up.

“Are you okay?” Dominic asked as he examined her face. He gave her a kiss on her cheek and Billy cleared his throat.

“I’ll be going now. I’ll call you okay?”

She nodded.

“And talk to her, okay?” Billy turned around and walked away.

Lily looked up at Dominic. “Elijah told me.. How are you?” She shrugged and he put his arm around her. “I don’t like seeing you sad,” he softly mumbled.

She smiled faintly and blushed as she thought of that dream. Suddenly everything he said and did seemed different. But maybe.. maybe it was different. Maybe..

“What did you argue about?” he asked and Lily looked up at him. He smiled and let a finger glide over her cheek. Her blush deepened and she looked away. She looked at her surrounding and she saw Elijah. He looked at them and Lily knew what he saw. He saw a couple. Lily quickly got rid of that thought. Thinking in terms of couples and relationships was too difficult at the moment. And there was another something that made her feel uncomfortable.

“I don’t really know..” she eventually answered.

“Aww sweetie,” he replied and turned her so that she was facing him. Then he pulled her into a massive hug. For the second time that day Lily was in the arms of a strong man. She closed her eyes.

“I’m not sweet,” she softly mumbled in his shirt.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.. Amber wouldn’t have argued with me if I was sweet.”

He held her a bit back and looked her deep into her eyes. “Now you listen to me,” he said and his warm breath stroked her face. She started blushing again. “You are sweet. Amber must have had her reasons to react so strongly.” He remained quiet and Lily shrugged slightly. His eyes were piercing through her, seeing everything she thought. Then his face changed. A small smile appeared on his face. “Good,” he concluded.

They walked on. “So.. how is Amber? Have you spoken to her yet?”

Lily shook her head. She wasn’t looking forward to facing Amber again. Because she was such a good friend, her best friend, every thing she said hurt twice more than if any other person would say it.

They walked off the set and Lily lead the way to Amber’s apartment. She descended the stairs to the subway and Dominic followed her hot on her tail.

“Oh no,” Lily let out as she saw how crowded the subway was. “This is gonna be awful.”

She looked at Dominic. He smiled and stretched out his hand. She grabbed his hand and together they made their way into the train. Lily walked over to the other side and turned around. She looked around in panic as she noticed Dominic was gone. In the crowd she had let go of his hand. Where could he be?

Suddenly someone broke free from the crowd and tumbled on top of her, thereby pressing her against the back wall. Lily shut her eyes in shock. “I’m sorry,” he stuttered and Lily opened her eyes slowly. It was Dominic.

She smiled and helped him stand up straight again. They were standing close to each other and her arms were still around his waist. Her breath started to quicken and her heart raced. He looked down at her face. Her mouth went dry and Lily swallowed deep.

His hands followed the path over her arms of her hands to her shoulders. Then he lowered his head. Lily closed her eyes as he pressed his lips on hers. He took her face in his hands and their kiss deepened.

After a moment they broke apart and Lily sighed softly. She looked up at Dominic and smiled. He also had a grin on his face and Lily’s smile grew wider. She softly started to laugh and after just a few seconds also Dominic laughed, until they eventually both roared with laughter.

“That wasn’t.. quite -”

“Right,” he finished for her.

She shook her head and gave him a hug. “You’re the best friend a girl could ever wish for,” she whispered.

“And you’re adorable. But.. I think we’re both thinking of someone else right now.”

Her blush returned and she shrugged. “I guess..”

Dominic shook his head, still laughing. “Just admit it.” He stuck out his tongue. The tongue she had just felt in her mouth. It was unbelievable. “I see the way you look at him!” he continued. A short silence fell. “And the way he looks at you…” he then softly added.

She grinned widely and hit him on his arm. “Shut up you, there’s nothing going on.”

He raised his eyebrows and his mouth showed a cheeky grin. “There isn’t? Then how come you know who I’m talking about?”

“Aargh!” Lily let out. “You’re impossible!” She laughed. “Oh damn, this is us!” she screamed and pushed Dominic towards the door. Just in time they made their way out and Lily couldn’t control her laughter as they climbed up the stairs to street level.

“What’s so funny, love?” he asked.

She shook her head smiling and shortly glanced at him, before returning her attention to the street and the traffic. “Just.. You and me..” she said. “You’re a good kisser, do you know that?”

“Naturally,” he commented and again Lily burst out in laughter.

“How could I forget, of course you knew that.” She stuck out her tongue at him and he grinned.

“You’re a good kisser too, he should be happy to -”

Again Lily hit his arm. “For starters I’m not. And secondly, shut up!”

He laughed and raised his hands. “Okay, okay, I give up. You’re an awful kisser. Blegh!” She grimaced at him. “Wanna kiss again?” he continued cheeky and Lily started laughing again.

But her happiness and relief faded away as they entered the street where Amber lived. Lily swallowed and her face showed tension.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Dominic softly said to reassure her.

Slowly she opened the door. “Amber?” she softly called.

“I’m here,” she heard her friend say. Obviously she was in the living room. Lily looked over her shoulder at Dominic, who indicated he would stay in the hall way. She smiled and he nodded. It was as if he told her to go in.

She opened the door to the living room. “Hey,” she softly said as she walked in. Amber was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea.

“Look, Lil, I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean it.” Amber stood up and walked over to Lily. Apparently she had been crying, for her eyes were still red and swollen.

Lily shook her head and shrugged at the same time. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been horrible to you!” She raised her voice and Lily looked at her surprised. “I’ve been a complete jerk, just because I’m jealous!”

“You’re jealous? Of me?” Lily let out a disdainful laugh. “What’s there to be jealous of?”

“Dominic!” Amber exclaimed and Lily’s jaw dropped.

“You’re..”

Her friend nodded. “Yes. I’m in love with him.” She sighed and sat down again, where she buried her head in her hands. “It’s terrible,” she explained. “I’m being a bitch to you because I’m in love with your boyfriend.”

Lily swallowed and sat down next to her. “He’s.. he’s not my boyfriend.”

Amber looked up. “He isn’t? But I thought -”

“Well then you thought wrongly,” she interrupted. “Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly, but he’s not my boyfriend and I don’t think he’ll ever be..” She looked away. “But I’ve got to tell you something..”

“What?”

Lily smiled insecure. “He’s standing in the hall way,” she softly whispered.

Amber’s eyes widened. “No! You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re kidding!” She moaned and buried her head in her hands again.

Lily couldn’t help but laugh as she saw her friend turn a furious red. She stood up and walked over to the door. As she opened it she looked for Dominic. He was still standing there, his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his face. “You’ve heard everything, haven’t you?” she asked and he nodded.

She stepped out into the hallway and gave him a hug. “I think I should go now. You go talk to her.” She grabbed her coat and opened the front door. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

Dominic turned around facing her and gave her a kiss on her mouth. “See ya, sweetheart.”

~ * ~

Lily bit her lip as she entered the set. Since she had left Amber’s apartment she didn’t have a place to go. Yes, she could stroll around London, but she hated to be somewhere alone. There were times that she could just sit in her room doing nothing but think, and then she was alone. But Lily always regarded strolling around town as something you did with two or more.

She looked around, but didn’t really see anything. She walked straight past Chris, without even greeting him. She stopped in front of the announcement board on the other side of the grass field.

“You’re back,” she suddenly heard next to her. Lily looked up and her heart jumped up to her throat and a blush to her cheeks.

Elijah smiled at her with a surprised look on his face and her blush deepened. “Where.. uhm.. Where is Dom?”

She faintly smiled. “He’s at Amber’s apartment. They’re talking I guess..” She shrugged. “So.. how are you?”

He didn’t answer right away. “I’m uh.. I’m fine.”

“Good,” Lily said. She hesitated for a moment and acted as if the announcement board was really interesting. Of course she wasn’t even a student at this university, but she had to do something. “Don’t you have any scenes?”

Elijah shook his head. “No, not at the moment.”

“Oh..”

Out of the corner of her eyes she could see he was looking at her and a blush crawled onto her cheeks.

“How is Amber?” he asked and Lily pressed her lips together.

Of course. How stupid could she be? Not only Dominic, but also Elijah had fallen for Amber. Like always. That’s why they argued, not over her, but over Amber. How could she even think they were slightly interested in her? Eighteen years of experience in the rejection department should have told her otherwise. She shouldn’t have taken Dominic’s comment so seriously.

“She’s fine,” she said, snappier than she had intended to.

“Oh..”

Lily felt heat burn behind her eyes, tears that were trying to make their way out. She blinked a couple of times and then turned away. “I’d best be going now,” she said as calmly as she could.

“Already?” he asked.

She nodded, still avoiding to look at him.

“Ow. Okay..”

She walked towards the exit, but before she had reached the grass someone pulled her arm. She looked up. It was Elijah. “Lily?”

She shot him something that could be either a glare or a questioning look. Maybe it was a questioning glare.

“I really like you..”

Now the look into her eyes changed deliberately into a glare. He couldn’t be serious. First inquiring how poor, sweet Amber is doing and when finding out she’s with Dominic trying to sweet-talk his way back into her grace?

Lily snorted with rage. “Yeah sure, whatever you say.” She waved her hand. “Now go back to flirting with Amber.”

She stepped onto the grass, pressing her lips together into a thin white line.

“No!” he suddenly said in a rather loud voice. “Lily, I don’t want Amber. I want you..” She swallowed and stopped walking. He took this opportunity to walk up to her. “I really.. really like you...”

Lily looked at the ground. She couldn’t look at him. She knew that if she would look up she wouldn’t be able to think straight. And what if this was just a trick? Just a trick to get on her good side again? She had been in this situation before, getting together with guys who took advantage of her weakness. Lily bit her lower-lip.

He put his hand on her arm and this was too much. Lily broke loose and stormed forward. She couldn’t deal with this, not again. It was already hard enough that he liked Amber, but that he lied to her about his feelings. No, she couldn’t cope with it.

She took the subway to Amber’s apartment. She would have to interrupt their togetherness, but there was no other place to go. She really needed to talk to someone. To Dom or to Amber, she didn’t even care. Just not together. She refused to talk to a couple.

She opened the door with the spare key Amber had given her at her arrival. Extremely loud she entered, to provide the two with some time to get decent again, to what extent that was necessary, that is.

Lily knocked on the living room door and Amber replied. “Come on in, Lil.”

She opened the door. Dominic and Amber were on the couch and seeing as how they were both looking pretty flustered she didn’t need to ask what they had been doing.

“Uhm,” she said. “Could I talk to Dom for a moment?”

“Sure, love,” he replied and Amber stood up to make her way out. Lily raised her hands. “No, Amb, you just stay here. I’d rather go outside anyway. We’ll go sit on one of those benches in the street. You know, for old time’s sake.”

Amber nodded and Dominic followed her out of the apartment.