“So what’s up, babe?” Dominic asked as they descended the stairs leading to the pavement in front of Amber’s apartment.

Lily shrugged.

“Ah.. Elijah, isn’t it?”

She nodded and cast her eyes down. “Yeah.”

He tilted his head. “What’s wrong?”

Lily furiously bit her lip, but a tear rolled down her cheek already. “He likes Amber,” she whispered and she bowed her head.

“He what?”

Lily sat down on the first bench they came across. “He likes Amber,” she said louder, her eyes still cast downwards.

Dominic put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Ow hon..” he said softly as she broke out in sobs.

“I hate this,” she let out. “I hate the fact that everyone always likes someone else over me. I hate the confusion. I hate love.”

He nodded. “I know, sweetheart, I know. But are you sure he likes Amber?”

She shrugged and angrily wiped away her tears. “If he always asks how Amber’s doing? How poor, sweet Amber is doing? Poor thing that she’s got to put up with me. No offence, Dom, but it seems rather obvious that he likes her.” She remained quiet for a moment. “Plus the fact that it explains why you and him were arguing,” she then added.

“Now you listen to me. We didn’t argue over Amber okay? That was about something completely different. It might have looked like that to you, but it wasn’t. And I’m sure he really likes you. You’re all he talks about.” He gave her a soft nudge. “Lij isn’t that good in expressing how he feels. At least not when it comes to sweet girls like you.”

“Maybe,” she replied. “But I think it’s best for us all if I just leave for home again.”

He looked at her confused. “Why would that be best for us all?”

“It would be the best for me..”

Dominic nodded. “Okay.. If that’s how you feel.. I’d hate to see you go, but I know how it feels.”

She smiled sadly as the last tears escaped from her eyes. “I have to.. I really like you guys, but I can’t put myself through this. It’s too hard..”

He stood up and stretched out his hand. “Come on then, we’ll pack together.” He looked at her. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Lily grabbed his hand and stood up. He immediately put his arm around her shoulder to comfort her and they started to make their way back to Amber’s apartment.

Suddenly Lily froze dead in her track. “It’s.. it’s...” she stuttered.

Dominic looked at the stairs in front of Amber’s apartment. A figure sat on the stairs. He squeezed his eyes together. “Is that.. Elijah?”

Lily bit her lower-lip. “I can’t do this,” she said. “I really can’t. Could you just send him away? I’ll be gone tomorrow and then this will all be over.”

“I’ll talk to him. But if he wants to talk to you, please do talk to him then. Just to have it over with. Promise me that?”

She looked up at Dominic, who looked at her questioningly. She sort of shrugged and Dominic let go of her. He walked up to Elijah and the two guys talked. Lily remained at a distance. She couldn’t do this; she really couldn’t.

Why couldn’t she just disappear? Disappear into nothing or maybe even just disappear and by a flick of her wrist end up in Scotland. Scotland a few weeks ago, when she didn’t know about all this yet. When Dominic was just a faint memory and Billy, Elijah and the rest were just famous movie stars whom she liked, but most probably never would meet.

She looked at the two friends and Elijah looked back at her. Lily cast her eyes down once again, trying to avoid his gaze.

“Lily?” Dominic asked and she shortly looked up. He waved his hand to indicate she should come over there.

Lily looked at him before looking at the ground. A silence fell and she bit her lower-lip, something she always did when she was feeling insecure. Then she slowly looked up. “What.. what are you doing here..?” she softly asked.

He shrugged. “Being jealous..”

Lily looked at him as he said this and her eyes widened. “Wh.. what? Why?”

Again he raised his shoulders. “You leave me.. to immediately go to Dom..”

He looked down at the ground and suddenly Lily felt her heart overflow with so many feelings at the same time that she had to bite her lip harder to fight back the tears.

“I..” Lily softly said. “I.. I just needed to talk to him.”

He nodded, still looking down. “I understand.”

Lily shook her head as she took a few steps towards him. “No, I don’t think you do.”

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” he asked and refused to look up at her.

Lily opened her mouth, but words didn’t come out. She started to shake her head again and walked up to him. She was standing right before him. “Look at me,” she demanded, trying hard not to mess up.

Slowly he raised his head.

“I’m not in love with Dominic. I might have been at one point in my life, but that point is not now. That point was five years ago. I really like the guy, and I might even love him, platonically speaking, but no, I’m not in love with him.” Now it was her turn to look away at the ground.

“You’re not?” she heard Elijah ask in a soft voice.

She shook her head and tears filled her eyes. This would never work. They couldn’t even get together properly.

Lily turned away from him and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. “No, I’m not,” she repeated. She took a deep breath. “Don’t you see?” she continued. “For the last couple of days I’ve been trying so hard not to fall for a guy. A very good friend of Dom’s.. His best friend.. I had to fight this. Not only don’t I want to mess up this friendship, but this could never work. It just.. It couldn’t.”

She looked over her shoulder at him and turned back to face him again. He looked at her and a mixture between a worried and a sad expression had covered his face.

“So you mean.. You don’t -”

Lily shook her head. “I just don’t think that I.. I..” She bit her lip and looked down again.

“But.. why not?”

“Just..” She rubbed the tears out of her eyes and looked at him, looked into his eyes. “We’re so different. Our lives.. they’re so different.”

Now Elijah started to shake his head. “No.. You can’t do this.. I don’t think -”

“But what else is there to do?” she asked and a sob made its way out of her body.

He quickly stepped up to her and took her in his arms. She looked up at him. He lowered his head and kissed her. His lips on hers. The warm touch of beginning love. She threw her arms over his shoulders and Elijah pressed her body against his. She felt him opening his mouth a little and soon she felt his tongue exploring the inside her lips. She slightly opened her mouth and as their tongues found each other she embraced him even stronger. He in return pressed her body even harder against his, not wanting to let her go.

They broke apart in need for some air. Lily wasn’t able to say anything; panting she looked at him, and a little smile developed on her face.

Again he lowered his head and a second kiss followed. They held on to each other and both drowned in the moment, not knowing what the next moment would contain.

But then Elijah let go of her. “I.. I shouldn’t have done that.. This.. I.. I shouldn’t have come here,” he stuttered. “I’m sorry..”

Lily looked at him and slowly took a few steps back, until her back hit the wall. She bit her lip and shook her head in disbelief.

He looked down. “I guess.. that I’ll always remain jealous. Jealous of the guys who are lucky enough to live near you. Who live a normal life.. Who have what you need.”

“Don’t..” Lily softly said. “Don’t be jealous. Just.. don’t..” A tear slowly crawled down her cheek. He looked up at her and as their eyes met she walked over to him. “I’m in love with you, you fool. I’m so madly in love with you I don’t know what to do..” She looked down and more tears escaped her eyes.

He remained quiet and Lily understood. He didn’t want it either. It was all too difficult. Everything had too many consequences. She bit her lip and awaited his reply; he had to react in some way. But there came no reply. She looked up and found out he had gone. He had just walked out on her. Sobs broke through her body and Lily buried her face in her hands.

~ * ~

She sat down in the little cabin of the train and sighed. Here she was again, where it had all started. Billy had bought a ticket for her and that was how she ended up in first class once more. She could really use the privacy of the cabin this time. The train started moving and Lily looked out of the window. Silently she said goodbye to London. To Amber. To love.

She smiled sadly. At least she was on her way home again. Scotland. During these weeks she had realized that Glasgow had really grown on her. All those years she spent there, but always the memory of Manchester remained in her head and she had believed Manchester was where she truly belonged. These last few weeks, however, made her think about Scotland, made her wish for Glasgow. Life was so easy up there. She had her friends, her study, her work. She loved it.

Lily rummaged through her bag and got out a notebook and one of her college books. She opened it and laid it on her knees. She didn’t feel like doing any homework and she doubted that she could focus at all, but it had to be done. Tomorrow would be a normal day again and normal days included hours spent in class.

Gradually her good mood returned. Doing the homework and nearly finishing it made her feel so useful. So different from the previous weeks. It made her feel as if she really knew what she was doing. God knew she hadn’t had the foggiest idea how to deal with Amber, Dominic and Elijah. Nope, she just couldn’t talk to them. Not in the way she could talk to Billy, that is. He had offered to come along, but Lily refused. She couldn’t make Billy leave his friends over her.

Her book dropped onto the floor of the cabin as the train suddenly increased its speed again. Lily hadn’t even noticed that they stopped. She bent down to pick up her book and sighed. Maybe this was a sign she should stop doing homework. Maybe not. Whatever it was, it was a good enough reason for her to quit. She smiled and started humming a song that had been in her head for days now. It was something about Botany Bay, but she couldn’t think of the place where she got it from.

Then she heard someone shout and she frowned. What kind of freak was that? Lily hoped he - for it was definitely a he - wouldn’t get close to her cabin. She shivered.

But then her eyes widened. It was her name the guy was calling. She put the books aside, stood up, and opened the door.

“Lily!!”

She shook her head in disbelief and shock and slowly took a few steps back into the cabin.

Elijah looked devastated as he reached her cabin. “Lily..” he softly said and the expression on his face changed to something else.

“Lily.. I can’t let you go..”

She looked at him and swallowed. What.. what was he trying to say?

“Lily.. I’m in love with you.. I can’t let you go.”

She looked into his eyes. They showed despair. “But..” she stuttered as she frowned confused. “But.. but what about Chris? The film?”

He shook his head and made a dismissive gesture with his hands. “I don’t care. I’ve told him I’m going away for a week.”

“But.. but..”

“Lily, I’m in love with you..”

His voice was soft and she knew he meant it. Slowly her frown disappeared and a small smile appeared on her face. But then she looked down and all the old insecurities came flying back at her. What if he would leave her again? Walk out on her like he had done before?

“I won’t leave you,” he softly said as if he could read her mind.

He took a few steps closer until he was standing up against her.

Lily felt him putting one arm around her waist and as he raised her chin he firmly pressed his lips on hers. Another soft kiss followed, before parting her lips with his tongue. Lily brought her arms over his shoulders once again and closed her eyes. Their tongues found each other and the touch couldn’t be more soft and gentle. Slowly his tongue glided over and against hers. It was as if they realized what they had nearly lost. They broke apart for a short moment before pressing their mouths on each others again. This time his tongue touched and caressed hers full of passion. She felt butterflies in her stomach and her knees went weak. They held on to each other, both afraid this was just a mirage, that none of it was real.

After a moment they broke apart again and she gave him a quick kiss before hugging him. His arms were around her and Lily could feel the heat of his body through all the layers of clothing. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. It felt so good. All the doubts were truly gone.

She raised her head and looked into his eyes. Finally a smile was to be seen on both of their faces and love was written in their eyes.

He kissed her again and mumbled against her lips, “I couldn’t let you go..”

Lily smiled as she looked at him, at his blue eyes that were now focussed only on her. Only on her eyes.

They sat down and Elijah pulled Lily close. She leaned against him and she laid her head on his shoulder. Then she closed her eyes. She breathed in his smell as he took her left hand in his. Their fingers intertwined and his right arm found its way around her shoulders, pulling her even closer.

“Stay with me..”

Disclaimer: I do not own or know Billy Boyd, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler, and/or Elijah Wood. The only character that is truly mine is Lily. Any similarities with existing people (except for me) are coincidental. The songs used in this fic are “Kiss Me” by Sixpense None The Richer and “Can’t Fight The Moonlight” by LeAnn Rimes. I don’t own those either, I just love those songs.

Also, I would like to thank Theria for beta-reading for me.

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