CHAPTER 4
"Hey Christensen, you've been distracted all night. Do tell, who're you looking for?" teased a throaty male voice. Hayden turned and saw Shane West laughing at him and Orlando Bloom joining into the laughter when he saw Hayden's bewildered expression.
They sat on their table in the latest Screen actors Guild Ceremony, in their formal wear, Orlando being the only one who looked at home in the his tux. They were still waiting for the ceremony to start and there was about half an hour left.
"What's so funny, you guys?" asked another male voice, as Tobey Maguire and Sean William Scott slid into the seats next to them. Sean agreed "Yeah, we can hear you laughing all the way to the entrance! So what caused you to crack up?"
"Your face." said Shane looking at Sean and causing all of them to go into peals of laughter again. Sean pretended to pout before cracking up too.
Hayden laughed along with the rest, ignoring his unsettling urge to run to the front of the hall and scream "Nikita Gill! Where are you?!"
"There you go again, with that look on your face. Just tell us WHO ARE YOU BLOODY LOOKING FOR?" roared Orlando, his English gentlemanly manner dropped for a moment as he looked at Hayden now with irritation.
Hayden didn't need to answer, because his eyes suddenly widened in awe. There, in a strapless evening gown of pale blue and cream silk stood Nikita, her eyes shining on her gleaming face. She was wearing frosty lipstick and a touch of eyeliner, and that was all. Somehow, this made her even more desirable than before. Her hair had been pulled back from her face by bone clips emphasizing on her high cheekbones. The rest of her hair flew down her back and made her seem a little like a mermaid.
"Ah...I see..." said Orlando, gazing her way and looking at Hayden's lovesick expression.
"Very cool..." grinned Shane as he clapped Hayden on his back. "Must say I was getting worried about you."
"Who is she?" murmured Tobey as he watched her take a seat next to Natalie and Amy.
Hayden found his voice and looked back at them sheepishly "Nikita Gill. You know the actress from the movie 'Qerunisa'? She's...different!" he added hastily as he saw Sean and Shane's eyebrows go up in sequence.
Shane looked at Orlando and grinned. "Since she's so different, I guess you wouldn't mind us having a go at her."
Hayden walked into Shane's trap. He looked at him menacingly "Actually I would. I mean...I wouldn't...well I mean, she doesn't date!"
Tobey looked at him with a grin lurking in his voice. "Hmmm...Let's see." Without a word to the rest of them, he got up from his seat and despite the irritated yells he heard from his own table he walked to where she was sitting.
"What the hell is he saying to her?" wondered Hayden nervously.
Shane looked at him and said. "Yo, chill! He's probably telling her what a cool guy you are."
Hayden groaned and said "If he was then he would be back by now. There isn't much to say."
All four of them cracked up again at this statement, and suddenly Tobey came and sat back down. He glanced around at he table where they all seemed to be waiting for him to speak. "What?"
"What did you talk about?" asked Sean eagerly.
He looked at Hayden and said grimly. "You won't believe it."
"Try me."
"Spider man comics."
Hayden's eyes went as wide as saucers at Tobey.
Shane glanced at Orlando and Sean and all three of them burst out laughing, just as the awards ceremony started.
*
�And the actor for break through performance of the year, male goes to�� said Michael Douglas as he reached into the envelope and pulled out the name slip �Hayden Christensen for Star Wars, Attack of the Clones.�
The cheering was so loud that Hayden had to grin. He got up from his seat slapping all his friends high fives and walked to the podium.
Michael shook his hand and said beaming, �Good work son.�
�Thank you, sir.�
He took the award and stood on the podium, looking at his friends. His voice echoed down to the end as he said �Wow�I was so sure I wouldn�t win I didn�t even bother to prepare a speech.�
Laughter echoed through the hall.
�I would like to thank God and my family for believing in me and letting me give up that scholarship of mine to get here. Um, George Lucas for giving me the opportunity to stand here and make a fool of myself.�
More laughter and George looked at him and gave him a thumbs up sign.
�My co stars Natalie and Ewan and the crew for taking away the light saber from me before I hurt my self with it.�
Ewan and Natalie laughed with the rest.
�Shane, Orlando, Tobey and Sean, for always telling me that I�ll be worse than them at everything.�
His table of friends grinned at each other as the rest of the actors and actresses chuckled. Finally Hayden looked at Nikita straight, his eyes filled with naked want and finally, inspired he said �And to the girl who has haunted my dreams ever since I first met her. Thank you.�
And with that he strode off the stage but not before glancing at Nikita who gazed back at him with a small thank you smile and her eyes wide.
*
Julia Roberts came forward to announce the next award. Instead she said these words.
�Our next performance is by a young girl who is very new to this industry and has broken all barriers of case creed and color. Taking the world by storm with her innocence and poise, she has conquered nominations for 2 categories in this award ceremony with her debut film. Having walked out on her parents at age sixteen and supporting her nephew she has managed to make it entirely on her own. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Nikita Gill. �
There were screams and cheers, and people looked on in anticipation.
The lights iced on a silhouette which was by no doubt female.
The trade mark husky voice whispered into the mike as she said �I brought some of my country here when I came. Today, let me show you some of my culture. Welcome��
The lights came on and she looked up, her body clad in the traditional Indian dress, a long light pink skirt and a small light pink bustier, silver jewelry all adorning her tan skin. Her powerful presence instilled in the senses of her captivated audience.
�To India�
The performance that followed was mesmerizing. It was her pride of her country that kept her voice strong as she sang in Hindi, her own language. The energy and her skill in performing her classical dance held the audience's attention.
And a slow realization hit her audience as she sang.
India was a third world country no doubt. But they had a certain nationalism and patriotism that shone. India was not all about poverty and impoverishment. It was not all about over population. Unity in Diversity. That's what its all about.
And she made it shine through her performance.
*
"Um...Miss. Gill, Nikita?" asked a sexily rasping voice from behind her. "Oh, its just Nikita!" she exclaimed before turning around to face the speaker.
She smiled gently as she saw who it was. "Hello, Mr. West."
"For you, its always Shane." His gorgeous brown eyes smiled with him when he uttered these words. He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips gently kissing it. "You. Were. Sensational."
"Thank you." she said graciously.
Natalie looked laughingly at Shane as he went into full flirt mode. She knew he was testing her. To see how deep the new girl could go.
He now looked at Natalie and grinned at her. "Why don't you come and join our table? Beautiful women such as yourselves shouldn't be sitting alone."
Nikita grabbed his words and turned them around. "We're not alone...we have some girly discussions going on."
"Ahh...the art of girl talk. Care to teach us? We're dying to learn."
He gestured to the table behind them.
Hayden and Nikita locked eyes and without looking back at Shane she whispered "Yes...I'd like that."
*
"Well, Nikita, I'm wondering when you're going to tell me."
She looked up into his brooding, conspiring green eyes as the table went silent. "What do you want me to know?"
Shane looked at Natalie with his eyebrows raised a questioning look on his face. Natalie nodded and he settled back to see the sparks fly between them.
Hayden paused, taking in her sweet smell so close to him before answering. "Whether you are an illusion. Or just a really pretty girl."
She put out a single finger and touched his hand with it, smiling broadly. "Real enough for you?"
Orlando broke into the heat before Hayden's blush made him a perpetual purple. "So, You are Indian?"
She beamed, "To the bone."
"And you have a nephew? How old is he?" Orlando asked curiously.
Her eyes brightened with an almost maternal gleam, thought Hayden, if I didn't know the child was her nephew or her age, I would have thought she was talking about her own son.
"Shiva's about 13 months old now. He's a darling...you should see him!"
Everyone smiled at her enthusiasm. "You love him a lot." smiled Orlando. "He spends plenty of time with you?"
She chose her next words with caution "Well, actually he spends all his time with me. In a sense I am his mother."
They looked shocked. "Your brother and his wife don't visit?"
"My brother has his business trips and his wife passed away, so yes, I am Shiva's mother in a sense."
"Interesting name. Shiva. Care to tell us what it means?" said Natalie changing the subject hastily.
Nikita threw her head back and gave her tinkling laugh. "This is beginning to sound like an interview!"
Hayden looked away. He was afraid that if he stared at her with her sexy laugh for too long, he might just lower his face to her neck and bite her.
Sean grinned at Hayden and said "Nikita, I think you've made Chrissy boy nervous!"
He looked up at Sean and growled at him "I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't effin' call me Chrissy boy!"
This time everyone at the table cracked up.
"Well, anyhow, Shiva is the name of the destroyer god in India. He is also one of the most forgiving Gods. He looks above the pettiness of Mankind and rewards only on basis of merit. I want my s....nephew to be like that."
"Powerful name...you almost called him son just now didn't you..." asked Tobey teasingly. Nikita forced on a smile and looked at her silver sandaled feet.
Natalie looked at her face and said slowly. "It's okay Nikita. You can call him your son. You are the closest thing to a mother for him."
If only you knew...
*
"May I drop you home?"
She felt a whisper in her ear, gently blowing stray hair away. She looked up to view his full six foot 2 inch frame, that somehow overpowered her strong five feet nine inches, making her feel marvelously weak and female.
They had just gotten out of the entrance and had been swarmed by photographers all of them.
"Yes," she gasped as she felt his hand graze against her cheek by accident. "Yes, please, I'd be grateful."
"Hey, are you two together by any chance?"
"Nikita, I thought you took a no dating vow?"
"Mr. Christensen weren't you dating Natalie Portman?"
"Hayden, Nikita! One picture please!"
She was about to protest but he smiled put his hand on her waist and said through gritted teeth "Just smile and ignore."
And for once in her life, she listened to someone.
*
"Nikita?"
"Mmm?" she asked the mellow voice as she came out of her half asleep state. "You're home."
She looked at him, the moonlight icing her already frosty lips. "I've been such bad company right now...um, Want to come in for a cup of coffee to make it up for my disastrous behavior?"
He looked at her now, his sensual mouth upturned in a seductive smile and his brown hair gleaming, a single finger, tracing the steering wheel. "I liked watching you sleep."
"You were supposed to be watching the road."
"When you have a beautiful girl asleep in the seat next to you, you don't look at the road."
"Next time, we go with my driver."
He chuckled now. She had said 'next time' and that meant something. to him at least.
*
"Here's your coffee..." she whispered as she gave him the cup. Hayden had rolled up his white shirts sleeves and his tie and blazer lay next to him on the couch. Somehow he looked even more gorgeous that way. He was staring at all the pictures of her and Shiva on the walls of her villa. Looking at her questioningly he asked "None of him with his father?"
"Um...my brother's busy...he doesn't come very often." she gulped some of her hot coffee burning her tongue in the process, punishing herself for lying to him.
He put a hand on her shoulder and turned her towards him "Where is Shiva right now?"
"Upstairs, in his own room, sleeping."
He looked up at the two bedroom doors. placed side by side. His touch burning her skin and her mouth quivered. "He sleeps alone?"
"He sleeps alone whenever he wants, although usually, he sleeps in his cot in my room. I don't leave him alone for the whole night...I worry too much. I send my nanny and my butler away to spend the nights with their families..."
"One more thing..." he said now drawing in closer to her, his voice suddenly hoarse..."Yes," she murmured her mouth suddenly dry...his hands skimmed her sides and to the small of her back now drawing her up to his chest.
"I don't think..." she whispered and he gently placed his mouth on hers stopping her lips from quivering with his own, her eyes closing and her body now on fire. The kiss got even more intense as she kissed him back, her lips exploring his, her hands running through the strands of his brown hair. They fell on the couch and she murmured against his ear "Please...don't do something we'll both regret..."
"I don't think either of us can regret this." he said his hands tracing up her shoulders again. But this time she stopped him.
"Do not think that I don't want you. I have never wanted a man so desperately in my life."
"But..?" He asked impatiently as kissed the inside of her wrist making her moan. "But...I respect you too much to keep this hidden from you any longer. Even if you hate me in the end."
She shifted away from him now crying...
"Hey, stop that! Did I do something to offend you?" He said quietly, shocked that he felt his own heart bleed for her in a way he never knew possible. Somehow even sadness suited her.
"No...like I said..." she sobbed out..."It's me..."
He dug into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief drying her tears with it as he put an arm around her.
"Tell me what's troubling you. It'll help you feel better. And I'm sure that whatever it is, I won't hate you."
"Do you promise?" she asked, looking at him, his insides melting as he saw the naked hurt in her hazel eyes.
"I promise."
"Okay..." she murmured now looking away. "Shiva is my real son."
"What do you mean your..." and realization dawned on him as he now pulled away from her..."You were married? You have a boy friend?"
She shook her head at his incredulity. "No...I was raped..."
He sat there, looking at her in alarm. His heart felt like it was going to stop beating. She now got up and went to the ceiling to floor windows staring out at jet black sky. He soon stood up and followed her there, now afraid to touch her, incase he hurt her. "Was this recent?" he asked slowly, contemplating whether he would beat the fuckers brains out or just castrate him.
"Are you not listening? Shiva is his son."
"WHAT?" he practically bellowed. "You had your rapist's child?!?!"
Her eyes glittered dangerously and her mouth became a thin hard line. "I had MY child. And I didn't walk out of home. I was thrown out. After I was beaten."
His voice became almost inaudible as he said "Your parents beat you?"
She now turned around to face him. "Yes. I am an Indian girl. I was supposed to be chaste until my wedding day."
Her tears now fell freely and her knees were becoming weak. Her hands raked through her hair and her mouth quivered again.
"Stop...just stop...don't cry...please,"
"Do you know what its like to be shoved to the floor and violated?" she sobbed..."It's the dirtiest feeling in the world...I've felt unclean ever since! So go Hayden, go on...you deserve someone much better than me...not a dirty slut like me...I don't blame you for hating me...I hate myself!"
Now he saw that she was going to fall if he didn't catch her in his arms. She sobbed against his chest he could feel her pain seep through into his own body...All alone...unhappy...in a vague place like Hollywood...
He held her tight and buried his face in her hair, stroking her back tenderly. "What makes you think I'll hate you, silly woman?" he whispered..."It wasn't your fault this happened to you...and you're not unclean. You're delicious."
She looked up at him, her tears stopping and her heart beating faster. "Really?" she asked him meekly.
"I'll prove it..." he whispered as he lifted her in his powerful arms and carried her upstairs, her head resting on his chest.