Alcohol Units: 0, I‘ve only had 2 McDonalds Shakes and 3 cups of coffee Times looked in mirror: 1,450; had to care for all my bruises SOMEHOW McDonalds: just breakfast; 2 shakes, the coffee, 4 hash browns, 4 egg mcmuffins and a biscuit Cigarettes: 22 will cut down later this week, possibly Times made fun of Mark: 0 oh good Lord

7:00am - You know, I bought a new journal this morning. I have had such a v. busy day that I couldn’t resist telling you all about it. I realized, when I was flipping through all the different designs and such that I hadn’t written in quite sometime. You must have thought I was dead!

7:09am - Well, no, you mustn’t have…because you’re a new journal and the old ones are buried in my yard so prying eyes (Ste) won’t see my most hidden thoughts. Anyway. Someone, I’m sure, was worried about me.

7:11am - It’s been two years. TWO years. That’s as old as a toddler! My Lord! Well. It’s been rather busy. Marky-Mark is engaged (to a girl, yeah, I thought he was gay too, but apparently not.) and he has been ignoring me a lot. Ste is being a bachelor, like me, which is the only way to go if you ask me, but whatever. To each his own life style, I always say.

7:20am - We released our newest album, titled “Into Your Head” which was my idea. Surprisingly the lads agreed and we used it. At first, I thought they were just humoring me, but I guess not as it is now out there in the world. Some second albums by bands are shit, that’s what I put in the thank yous. I’m not sure what got into me.

7:29am - I remember now. I had eaten about forty McDonalds hamburgers when I wrote that. Oh, and, sixteen chicken nuggets, a large fry, and two banana shakes. They make me special shakes there ‘cause I’m a preferred customer. After you spend three million dollars there, your name gets put on the wall with a plaque and they make you whatever you want.

8:10am - I wanted pizza one day and they refused. Which is when I took my plaque off the wall, yelled “BUGGER IT ALL TO BLOODY HELL!” in my loudest, most Christian-ish voice and ran out the door. I went back in an hour later and apologized to Ronald.

8:13am- He didn’t talk much, though. He mostly just stood there waving at me. Maybe he was drunk. On those blasted strawberry shakes. What do they PUT in those, anyway?

8:32am - I have called the Shaggy Little Stever and he has informed me that since Mickey D’s is a family establishment, there is no way in heck (Ste said hell, but children may be reading this) that they put anything that contains alcohol in the strawberry shakes. He says they only put in strawberry syrup. He also said that perhaps I react strangely to the syrup. Hmmmmm.

8:38am - I vow to never drink the Mickey D’s shakes ever again.

8:45am - I could really use a shake right now, I’m all jittery and shaking. I think it’s from being so scared earlier this morning when I went at midnight to pick up the new Harry Potter book.

8:47am- OH! I just remembered! I got the Harry book earlier and was nearly pummeled to death by the heavy 900 page thing-a-ma-jigs! It was v. v. scary indeed.

8:50am- It all started out with me waiting happily in line to pay for the book, bouncing around singing “Back Here” while these two girls behind me had a discussion about the romantic relationship pairings in the newest book. Well. Let me tell you. They had it ALL wrong. They said that Draco and Hermione were going to finally start dating, tearing each others clothes off and all that. I was disgusted. Literally. It is SO obvious that Ron and Hermione will be together. When I said this, they took their books and hit me in the side of the head. One on each side.

8:59am - I blacked out for a good ten minutes, said the store manager. My head still hurts, and there is a throbbing pain on this bulge underneath my hair. Ah, my beautiful hair. It finally looks back to normal. I fired the woman who cut and styled it for the “Into Your Head” shoot. I looked bloody awful. Now I look all right. Not great, but that’ll come in time. When I get my hair dryer back. WEEEE! WOOOOOO! HOOOOOOOOO!

9:10am - Yeah. Anyway. So then they started twittering on about how Harry and Cho will probably go out. How far fetched is THAT!? Cho is, first of all, too old for Harry and she is not interested. Secondly, I dunno what. But I gave them a good talking to.

9:14am- Got hit in the shin with the book that time. Have a nice, large purple bruise there that doesn’t match any of my clothes. Bugger.

9:18am- I was in so much pain from all of the bruises that I tripped over some two year old and fell into the huge display of books which rained down on me like…well, rain. It was a mess. The woman who worked behind the very busy counter game me a very stern talking to that made tears spring to my two black eyes (which bloody hurt, I’ll tell you, those book spines HURT like heck, especially when falling on the eyes). I was a wreck.

9:21am- I got a free Hermione bookmark, though. YIPPEEEEEE! It’s really lovely. I may use it to mark pages in the journal.

9:30am- I have started reading the book but it is about one million pages so I haven’t finished yet. It is good so far, but it’s just very long and I’m a very busy Christian. I have been working on my hair since the horrible horrors of the early AM. Tumbling over that display case really took its toll.

9:34am- I’ve just looked in the mirror again. I look a bloody mess. Good Lord. Maybe some makeup will help. I’ll contact Marky-Mark. He has LOTS of makeup.

9:35am- That’s one of the reasons I thought he was gay. He has a large, black makeup case that has more makeup than probably Britney Spears.

9:39am- I take that back. She has lots more makeup than Mark. Christina has more too, so that’s not a good example.

9:45am- Tumbling over the books effected my brain too. Bloody hell.

9:50am- Maybe I have a concussion.

9:53am- I am rather tired.

9:57am- Oh, God, I’m going to die.

10:00am- Cause of death: Harry Potter.

10:02am- Then people will wonder about MY sexual preference.

10:04am- OH HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, right. I’m such a girl magnet, there’s no way.

10:08am- Though, the most action I’ve gotten lately is from the Harry Potter books. Hmmm.

10:10am- Maybe I’ll become a Buddhist Monk. Or perhaps a nun.

10:12am- Can men be nuns?

10:15am- I feel so deep and…stuff.

10:17am- I could be a Buddhist PUNK. Hehe.

10:18am- I think I really do have a concussion. Ouch.

10:20am- All this thinking really hurts my head.

10:22am- Maybe Stinky Stever will get me some headache cures.

10:25am - Stinky Stever! HA HA HA HA! I’m so witty! Even when I’m dying!

10:28am- Ow. My head. My bloody head bloody hurts. I want me Mummy.

10:30am- I should stop doing the cabbage patch. But it is really fun. I’m not a bad dancer. Though Stever and Marky disagree (like usual) I’ve gotten quite good at it. Better than I used to be, at least. I think.

10:32am- I’ve turned the music off. Though it is lovely to cabbage patch to Mary Kate and Ashley’s Greatest Hits (Volume 1), I shouldn’t be in my condition.

10:45am- Have contacted The Stinky Shaggy Little Stever (TSSLS). He is on his way with headache cures. He mentioned something about a frying pan. I wonder what he’ll do with it? Perhaps he will make me some eggs and bacon? I could use with some nourishment after my night.

10:50am- Wyle E. Coyote got bashed over the head with a frying pan once, I think. Or was that Popeye? I’m not sure. I can’t remember. I must really be concussed. I’m loosing my memories.

10:55am- Concussed. Look at that word! My vocabulary is v,v,v. good!

11:01am- Am chuffed.

11:04am- Also very achy and paindamable. Paindamable not word. Bugger.

11:29am- Stever is here! Am taking liberal amounts of Tylenol while Ste supervises my water intake.

11:35am- “God, Christian, what did you DO to yourself?”

“I obviously didn’t do this, Stever. Those mobsters at the Harry Potter release party this morning at midnight did this to me. I’m concussed!”

Ste rolls his eyes, “Drink your water, Chris.”

I do as I am told, “Where is your frying pan? I thought you would make me a large lumberjackish breakfast.”

“Lumberjackish isn’t a word.” He takes my cup. “I didn’t bring a frying pan. It was only an expression.”

“An expression of what? Your insanity?”

11:43am- Ste’s gone. I think I angered him. Oh well.

12:29pm- It’s rather lovely sitting here on my sofa reading the new Harry Potter with no interruptions. I’m only on page 22, however. I don’t read v. fast I guess.

12:45pm- I’m thinking this has to do with my concussion.

1:58pm- Maybe I should have gone to the hospital?

2:00pm- Am panicked. Called Ste.

“Ste. I am concussed. Should I go to the emergency room? The ER, or I like to say ‘er’. It’s my little ER joke. You know, that show with George Clooney.”

“What? Stop blabbering.”

I sigh. “Steven. SHOULD. I. GO. TO. THE. HOSPITAL? I. AM. CONCUSSED.”

“Do you even know what concussed means? Or do you just like saying it?”

I really just like saying it. “STE! THIS IS A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION!”

2:30pm- Apparently not life and death situation. Ste hung up on me. Am alone. And concussed.

3:00pm- Experimenting with some stage makeup I found in my travel bag. I remember I got this from that video I did with Joey and Lance from *NSYNC and Mandy Moore. I banged up my eye quite badly by falling into a table and the makeup lady shoved some at me. To keep her quiet, I put it in my bag and never thought about it again. Honestly. It works WONDERS on these bruises. Why haven’t I used makeup before? I look bloody brilliant!

3:15pm- Am a SEX GOD.

3:29pm- Am possibly hottest human to ever walk face of earth.

3:56pm- Cannot turn away from mirror.

4:02pm- Am in love with self.

4:15pm- Marky-Mark has stumbled into my home. Completely pissed. He must have been drinking a lot of water. Like a fish maybe.

4:17pm- No, he’s not drunk. Just happy. Go figure.

4:20pm- “Christian. Why do you have blue sparkly eye shadow on?”

4:30pm- Bloody. Hell.

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