The Anti-Spotlight

Well, you could probably see this one coming too: with a Song Spotlight on a potential chart breaker, I offer a page devoted to describing the worst song- or songs- on the radio. This is where I get my club and bash these records good, hoping the radios will follow suit and NEVER PLAY THESE SUCKERS AGAIN!!!

Hot Hot Heat- Bandages

One really annoying voice with an almost hypnotic chorus where "bandages" is repeated incessantly...why? WHY? WHY!?!? Think of the White Stripes' Jack White only up the strain ten times and the whine a couple more times and you have this sucker's voice. I won't even name him because he's so bad. The sound is so sub-par I don't even know why these guys even released this song.

Las Ketchup- The Ketchup Song (Hey Ha)

Remember Los Del Rios? Okay, maybe not, but do you remember "The Macarena"? Remember how annoying that song was? Well, up the annoyance factor ten times and you have this stinker from a singing Spanish female trio. It doesn't matter if it's sung in Spanish, the words are stupid and sounds dumber than a doorknob. It'll be a big hit, you know it, but if we can all get together maybe we can avoid the inevitable...

Missy Elliott- Work It

Why Missy "Misdamenor" Elliott keeps trying when she has zero rapping skills is really amazing. Here, she sings about- and I'm sure you've heard this before- sex, and, exactly what I've blasted other artists for doing before what positions she likes in bed. She starts the song off with "Hey! I'm on the request line and I'd like to make a request!" Why anyone would request this sucker remains to be known, as well as why Elliott still has a career.

Kelly Clarkson- A Moment Like This

Utter horrible crap from the "American Idol" winner, Clarkson's only redeeming quality is her voice and even here it's not that good. First off, the lyrics are a lifeless, simple mess as the lyrics are blatantly about how Clarkson won "American Idol"- I mean, how else can I explain a chorus that reads "Some people wait a lifetime/For a moment like this"? Secondly, since it's about love, the lyrics lack any depth for anyone to take Clarkson's joy seriously, and, worse, since the musical backdrop suggests a deep song, it makes the impact of the simplicity of the lyrics even more pronounced. Third, Clarkson sings this song as if she'd rather be doing the laundry than singing this song, and why not? She didn't write this, and why would she put passion into something that isn't hers? Simply put, this song is only designed to sell and, along with "American Idol" signify everything that is wrong with the music industry today.

-DG

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Last week's Anti-Spotlight, featuring: Shania Twain, Thicke and Nirvana

The WORST Songs on the radio

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