The Anti-Spotlight

Well, you could probably see this one coming too: with a Song Spotlight on a potential chart breaker, I offer a page devoted to describing the worst song- or songs- on the radio. This is where I get my club and bash these records good, hoping the radios will follow suit and NEVER PLAY THESE SUCKERS AGAIN!!!

Shania Twain- I'm Gonna Getcha Good

Does she ever give up? Every year she has something stupid to offer to us and every year the radio ticks me off in playing them. This stinker- easily her worst (a surprise because she did "Don't Be Stupid" and "That's The Way")- offers up really bad grammar (she blares "I'm gonna getcha good" in the chorus, and repeats "getcha" so it sticks in our heads) and a line Christina Aguilera must have rejected: "You're a fine piece of real estate and I'm gonna get me some land". Dear. Somebody please get her a songwriter, because she clearly stinks at it.

Nirvana- You Know You're Right

That's right: Nirvana ends up here. Not on the playlist, but here. Why you ask? Well, to start, Kurt Cobain sounds like a caveman, meaning you won't be able to understand what he's talking about (he may be singing deep lyrics, but danged if I know: all I hear is mumbling), and, like all bad songwriters, insists on repeating a word several times while wailing helplessly- this time, it's "Pain" five times before the chorus. Oy. Okay, so Cobain wrote this right before his death and may be a painful reminder of it, but all I get out of this is pain just trying to sit through this crap. You know, this isn't Nirvana's worst song- that would be "Smells Like Teen Spirit", where the band again sounds like cavemen (who told them they had a right to imitate sheep with their guitars?)- but it's precariously close, and, like Nirvana before, it's the messiest rock sound I've ever heard (yes, worse than Weezer and worse than punk). Before these idiots, we had real rock and roll: it's about time we got it back.

Thicke- When I Get You Alone

I see it now: Robin Thicke, son of Canadian comedian Alan Thicke, once wrote songs for Christina Aguilera and that should explain why this song- and her songs- are downright horrible. Let's see: it's about sex, and he decides that a classical orchestra is the perfect backdrop (image of me smacking my head in disgust). Simply put, this song is annoying and just proves how bad a songwriter Robin Thicke actually is.

-DG

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The WORST Songs on the radio

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