Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Dumber Days

Dr. Weird: (on phone) Yes. Yes, Terry. Mine for brains. Bwahahahaha!
Steve: Hey, uh, who was that on the phone?
Dr. Weird: Oh, no one...uh...HEY! Let's highlight your hair!
Steve: But I like my hair this color.
Dr. Weird: It begins!

<Carl's Pool>

Shake: Whoa! Hey, Frylock, get out here and watch what I'm doing! Whoa!
Frylock: What ARE you doing?
Shake: What are YOU doing? Will you shut up and do what I'm telling you?
Frylock: Oh, hey, Meatwad. You have a little something sticking--IS THAT ONE OF YOUR BONES?
Meatwad: No, that's a rotisserie chicken. You see, I took my brain out to polish it, and then I forgot where it was, and then I just sorta put this chicken in there, you know what I mean?
Frylock: The brain is an important learning tool, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Well where is it? I'll pop it back in if you can find it, DAD.
Shake: No way! I'm using this brain for undercover aquatic training.
Meatwad: Hey! My brain!
Shake: That's right, your brain, but I found it.
Frylock: Let me see that.
Shake: Gimme!
Frylock: Well, I'll be damned. You got a toy brain.
Meatwad: What? Then where have I been keeping all my knowledge?
Shake: What knowledge? There ain't nothing in here but air and a little jingle bell.
Meatwad: That ain't no jingle bell. That is a gland full of knowledge.
Frylock: No, that's a jingle bell.
Shake: It looks like a cat toy!
Meatwad: Shoot, I'm so dumb as hell I'll never get hired in today's fast paced world. I'm going to go to my room and just wait for my body to die.

Schooly: Aw, come on, Meatwad, you can't be that dumb.

<Carl's Bedroom>

Meatwad: What, is this not my room?
Carl: What do you think?
Meatwad: (looks around) Yep. (Carl chucks him out the window)

Schooly: Oh, damn, maybe Meatwad IS that dumb.

Frylock: Meatwad, you've been standing in that doorway for three days. You're letting all the cool air out.
Meatwad: If you say so. I don't know no better. I don't have the proper organ to make those kinds of decisions.
Frylock: Decisions? Look, Meatwad, why don't you go outside and run around a little, huh?
Meatwad: Outside of what? Time and place are a mystery to me. I don't have a brain.
Frylock: (to Shake) We've got to get him out of that doorway and start making him feel better about himself.
Shake: You're right. I'll go get the hose. We'll flood him out.

<Carl's House>

Carl: What are you doing, Fry Man?
Frylock: Oh, hey, Carl. I'm just measuring the circumference of your skull.
Carl: Oh, yeah, you doing some kind of science thing here? Why are you doing it?
Frylock: Because I need to, uh...I'm making you a sweater...Carl...see ya.
Carl: No, no, wait a minute, Fry Man. If I wasn't a little loaded right now I'd say you're, uh, looking for, uh, come closer here. Looking for a brain, is that right?
Frylock: A brain!? No! No, I'm not. ....Why?
Carl: Heeey, it's Carl here, your buddy. You don't have to lie to me, cuz if it's a brain you want, I'll get you a brain.
Frylock: Really?
Carl: Oh yeah, yeah, no trouble. Let me just get another beer and give Terry a call. He does tons of stuff. He's kind of a jack of all, uh, black market organs.
Frylock: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is this affiliated with a hospital or donor--
Carl: Does it need to be smart? Cuz those are kind of hard to come by. You gotta be smarter than them to get it. Two halves from different brains?
Frylock: You know what, Carl? Just forget it. It's okay, really.
Carl: (follows Frylock back to his yard) No, it's no trouble, really. I went to high school with this guy. This thing he's doing here is sorta, you know, frowned upon by the community.
Frylock: Carl, I don't want it! And I'd appreciate it if you'd get off my lawn too, okay?
Carl: Fry Man, don't be that way. Come on! This happens every day. People just don't, you know, talk about it this loud. Hey, what's in it for me?

Meatwad: Now you're sure that this is a brain?
Shake: Yeah, sure. You can tell. Here, watch. Now you hear that swarming? THAT'S how you know it's on. You just gotta kickstart the smartness here, you'll see. Now, get it going. Come on--GET--the KNOWLEDGE--GOING!
Meatwad: Wait a second, this ain't no brain. This is a damn bee's nest!
Shake: Aw, shoot, you're right! Why, ho-ho, this IS a bee's nest! Hey, I've been ripped off here!
Meatwad: I'll say! You might want to talk to a customer service rep about that.
Shake: Damnit! You know, I think I threw away the box. Could you just keep it in your head until I can return it?
Meatwad: You think I'm that stupid? Just because I don't have a brain?
Shake: ...Yes.
Meatwad: Well go ahead and pop her in there.
Frylock: Shake! What are you doing?
Shake: Look, HE'S doing it! He loves it! He wants it!
Meatwad: Hey who's home?
Shake: (bees attack him) Whoa, who's ringing the doorbell!? Will you get them to stop!?
Frylock: Carl? OH MY GOD! Is this the brain--!?
Carl: YEAH, that's the, uh, soda pops we talked about earlier there--shut up, you want to get us killed?
Meatwad: Hey, give me one of them sodas.
Frylock: Uhhh, this isn't soda pop, Meatwad. I'm afraid this is your new brain.
Meatwad: Alright! Surgery! So you gonna put me under or what?
Frylock: Oh, yeah, sure, uh, look over there. That's the anesthesia.
Meatwad: Where?
Frylock: We're done here.
Meatwad: Dang, really? That was kinda fast. You didn't just sorta throw it in there, did ya?
Frylock: Yeah, I did. Is it working?
Meatwad: I don't know. Where's the TV? We'll test it on some wrestling.
Frylock: Uh-uh, wait a minute, Meatwad. Let's try this instead.
Meatwad: A book? No, sir! Shake said that books are from the devil, and that TV is twice as fast.
Frylock: Twice as fast at what?
Meatwad: Information.
Frylock: Look, just give this a chance, okay?
Meatwad: "The Tiniest Bullfrog." There, I'm done. Now come on now, wrestling's on.
Frylock: Hang on, Meatwad. There's a little more.
Meatwad: Oh wait, you gotta open it now? When did they start doing this? "Jeremy The Bullfrog lived in a tiny swamp on the edge of town. Every day he dreamed of one day playing professional basketball, but he lived in a swamp, far away from the city lights of a major market team......"

...Later

Frylock: Boy, the new brain is really working out for Meatwad.
Shake: You know, that is so good to hear. Hey, maybe he can use his brain to figure out a way to drain the venom out of all my horribly painful bee welts, because I was supposed to get a headshot at 2:00 today, and now it's never gonna happen!!
Meatwad: Well, I'm off to the library to do some recreational reading.
Frylock: Well, I have some Hardy Boys adventures if you want to take a look at those.
Meatwad: Yeah, thank you. I'm seeking some more challenging fare, Frylock--something in nuclear bionics.
Shake: You know, I saw the WOLFMAN had a book like that down in our crawlspace. Hey, why don't you go down and trade something for it? I know he's fond of blood.
Meadwad: You know, Shake, your words of terror amuse only yourself.
Shake: Are you sure about that?
Meatwad: Yes.
Shake: ...Yeah, uh...yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay.
Meatwad: Revenge is a dish best served cold, Shake. You think about that, if you have the brains. hehehehee.
Shake: You're getting it tonight.
Frylock: Shake, did Meatwad seem a little different to you?
Shake: Yeah, he looks bigger. ...I hope he sat on those bees!

Schooly: Yeah, tizz-ime passed by just like Donovan McNizz-abb, yeah.

Meatwad: (lecturing his dolls) ...So, in summation, we could have our daily tea parties in the fifth dimension.
Frylock: Knock-knock. Well, I hope I'm--OH MY GOD!
Meatwad: Frylock, what a pleasant surprise. I'm just finishing up my symposium. You've met my colleagues, Professor Vanessa and Dr. Dewey.
Frylock: Yeah, what happened to your body, man?!
Meatwad: Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Thermal expansion.
Frylock: No, it's not thermal expansion. I know what thermal expansion is.
Meatwad: Okay, fine, I'm sure that you do. Let's see, how can I explain this without blowing your mind?
Frylock: Oh yes, PLEASE, dumb it down for me.
Meatwad: Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principle tells us that at a specific curvature of space, knowledge can be transferred into energy--
Frylock: Heisenburg's Uncer--!?
Meatwad: --and this is key now, matter.
Frylock: No, it does not!
Meatwad: Well, some people struggle with Heisenburg. Look, here is a toy. It goes up and down on a string. Doesn't that look like fun?
Frylock: Get that thing out of my face!
Meatwad: Why don't you go take that into the other room while the adults are doing important research here.
Frylock: Oh, I'm sorry, PROFESSOR. I didn't realize that knowledge could also transform you into an ARROGANT ASS!

<Frylock's Room>

Frylock: Hmmph, shoot, passing through solid matter. You can't pass through solid matter.
Shake: (appears out of thin air) Hey, try to chase me.
Frylock: Shake
Shake: Chase me. You're it. Come on!
Frylock: Oh my goodness! How did you do that?
Shake: You're it, come on! Come on, you're it! You know you want to play this game.
Frylock: What are you doing with that egg beater?
Shake: Um, let me clue you in. This is an antimatter eliminator. It allows me...to fluctuate...You're it! You gotta chase me!
Frylock: Did Meatwad make that for you?
Shake: Stop talking, come on! First off, we made it together. I put the number on it, so it's like a racecar! Vrroooom!
Frylock: And just where is DOCTOR Meatwad right now?
Shake: Frylock, you stay away from him. We got a business deal going, see.
Frylock: What kind of business deal?

<Carl's Yard>
(Sign: "Magic Flying Car Rides $5")

Shake: Look at that, huh?
Frylock: Oh my...it's impossible!
Shake: See, I get 5% of whatever comes out of that and I ain't gotta do nothin.' So who's got the brains now, huh?
Meatwad: Quiet! I need complete concentration or the child will die.
Frylock: Meatwad, what are you doing?
Meatwad: Making me some damn money.
Frylock: Isn't this a waste of brain power, I mean, LIFTING CARS?! You could be curing disease or solving global problems.
Meatwad: The only problem I see, Jack, is you standing in the way of me and my financial superbrain.
Frylock: You're superbrain, huh? I just took your old toy brain and decorated it with some glitter and macaroni, that's all.
Meatwad: Really? But how was I able to lift cars and pass through walls and--
Frylock: That was all a case of mind over matter, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Now that I don't have a brain, I don't even know what that means.
Shake: It means you better put that brain down RIGHT now!
Frylock: So, Meatwad, what did we learn from all this?
Shake: This is not happening!
Meatwad: I ain't never gonna be rich.
Shake: Wait, we'll be rich, don't listen to him. Here's a brain. Look, it's better. It's made out of metal. Here, put this in.
Meatwad: Ow!
Frylock: I thought that was an antimatter eliminator.
Shake: Right, give it back! I'll be the rich one! Rich! Get out of my way!! (attempts to run through the side of the house, but bounces off and falls)
Meatwad: Yeah, that was just an egg beater.
Frylock: Come on, Meatwad, let's go make some popcorn and watch some wrestling.
**CRASH**
Carl: Oh do not tell me that that is my car up there on the roof!
Meatwad: okay, we won't.
Carl: GET IT DOWN!
Meatwad: Okay...
Carl: Wait, no, don't!
**CRASH**
Carl: DAMN IT!
Frylock: Oh Carl, here's that brain back. Turns out we didn't need it after all.
Carl: SHHH! What are you talking about? I didn't give you no brain, you crazy man!
Frylock: Yeah, you did. It's right here in this cooler.
Carl: Just shut up!
Meatwad: It looks kind of purple. Where'd you get it?

Steve: Say, Dr. Weird? How do my highlights look? Eh...Dr. Weird? ...Hey, a note...heh, why can't I read this?

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