Now, as you should know by now, in my previous lifetime I was Laura Ingalls, but sometime (I would suspect in late early December 1962) the gods of the universe decided to punish me for failing to tell it like it is in my novels, so my parents decided to fuck one night and my soul forced into my father's sperm without my consent and I went into my mother's ovary to fertilize that egg and the rest is history. Then in early September 1963 I was born in a western suburb of Chicago. I grew up in Du Page County Illinois, which is pretty much a nice place, but is controlled by Republican scum.
The earliest memory that I had went back to 1967 and even then, I didn't like my neighborhood, my house or the world for that matter, so I decided that I was going to leave, so I decided to take off by riding my tricycle right down the middle of the street. I got about 4 blocks from my house when a cop stop me and he told me to get in the car. I didn't want to get in the car, so I kicked the cop. Gee, I sure wish that I could kick a cop now and get away with it!
I started kindergarten in 1968 and I turned out to be a total anti-Christ. When I was in kindergarten, I refused to follow any orders. I refused to do any work, I would scribble on the floor and I even ripped up another kid's math paper. If that's not all, there was even a time when I decided to run around the room without having any pants on and the teacher chased me into the bathroom and I decided to lock the door and stay in there for an hour. All because of that, I flunked kindergarten.
During my 2nd year in kindergarten, I ended up switching to the other extreme in which I was very tame and quite, instead of a rambunctious anti-Christ because I was afraid that I would end up spending my whole life in kindergarten. Once I followed orders, my teacher was nicer to me and I was able to move on to the 1st grade. I then realized that the world was a perfect place, especially after I got done watching Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. In Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, everyone was nice to each other, especially, Mr. Mc Feely and listening to Mr. Roger's voice gave me such a soothing feeling of calm. It was like taking a whole bottle of tranquilizers.
Also, when I was in the 1st grade, I had a pretty nice and easy going teacher, but in 1971 is the year in which my life went down the toilet and I haven't been the same ever since. While my 1st grade teacher turned out to be nice, my 2nd grade teacher whose name was Mrs. Straight turned out to be a real cunt. I didn't even like that name. Mrs. Straight forced us to sing patriotic songs for 20 minutes every day and Mrs. Straight gave me hard time for being different from other people. She did a great job at spewing out propaganda on why this country is so great and "free", but people were supposed to be treated like shit for different. Having to go through all that shit caused 1972 to be the worst year of my life.
When I got into 3rd grade, my teacher was still kind of a cunt, but not nearly as bad as my 2nd grade teacher and I liked some things she did. For example, I was getting picked on and made fun of from bullies worse and worse, but 1 day, my 3rd grade teacher decided to wash those kids mouth out with soap. I really enjoyed seeing that! Because I was going through some difficult times back then, I started swearing a lot when I was 9 years old and my parents threatened to wash my mouth out with soap, but my parents swore a lot too, which is where I picked up most of the words, but they told me that it was OK for them to swear because they are adults and I am just a child. If something didn't work out the way I wanted it to, my mother would say, "that's tough titty".
What was really devastating for me is when I discovered that people in the real world weren't as nice as they were on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. In the real world, people are rotten horrible brutal assholes. What helped me cope was watching reality based TV shows like All in the Family and Maude, which was real reality based television because it dealt with real issues while having a real cool sense of humor, which is totally different from the reality based TV you see now-a-days which is nothing more than total bogus belching bullshit.
In 1973, I got into the 4th grade and my life got so much better because I had a teacher who was cool. My teacher actually turned out to be a friend who I could talk and she had a good sense of humor. My 4th grade teacher exposed me to the truth when I told that I am so glad that I am living in a free country and she told me, no it's not and she also told me that Richard Nixon deserves to thrown in jail for his involvement in Watergate. 1974 was a great year because I got to go for a ride on a train for the 1st time and I discovered that riding trains was cool. In a lot of ways 1974 turned out to be a great year because there were cool shows on TV like All in the Family and Maude. Not only that, it was in 1974 when Little House on the Prairie had it's debut episode and I felt some type of special connection while I was watching Laura Ingalls, but I just couldn't figure out what it was at the time before I would realize that I was Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime.
Things were going so great in 1974 and I thought that shit would never happen to me again, I couldn't wait until 1975 arrived and what a mistake that was because 1975 sucked, especially the 2nd half of 1975 when I went from 5th grade to the 6th grade because I no longer had that teacher that was so cool. Also during the 4th and 5th grade, there was a bit of a remission from how badly I was being picked on from bullies, but once I got into the 6th grade things got real bad and it kept getting worse and worse as the school year went on. The teacher I had in the 6th grade gave a lot of homework, she was boring as hell, was extremely rigid, and had no sense of humor, so I was backlashed to the torment and suffering I went through in 2nd grade and the thing that really pisses me off so much is experiencing a change from something that's cool to something that sucks. My 6th grade teacher told me that I brought it upon myself when I got picked on by bullies and the reason that she said that is because she was a fucking cunt.
Things had gotten so bad with bullies tormenting me that I was seeing a social worker and if things were that bad in the 6th grade, there was no telling how bad they were going to get once I got into junior high, so they decided to put me in special ed. at a school about 10 miles from where I lived and I thought the motive was to get me away from the assholes who tormented me, but it really was an answer to my parents prayers because, at long last, I was going to get into something that would indoctrinate me into a robot conformist or else! All this happened in 1976 and 1976 sucked. 1976 was also the year of the bicentennial and if you are old enough to be around back then I remember seeing the bicentennial minute on CBS and at the time I thought that it was interesting, but that was before I learned that it was nothing more than propaganda. Not only that, it was also a load of shit. It was also in 1976 when I started going through puberty and that was the year in which I masturbated for the very 1st time and that is the only memory I have from that year that was any good. I remember that it was in 1977 when thick white stuff started squirting out of my penis when I masturbated.
I am so glad that Pat is talking about masturbation, so he doesn't have to get punished again by being reincarnated back into this word of stupidity, which is what happened the last time, because Laura Ingalls didn't talk about masturbation in her novels. You can read Pat's Autobiography part II or go back to Pat's 2004 Vision of the World Page to read other wonderful thought provoking stuff!