Last time I talked l left off mentioning that 1976 was the year that I masturbated for the very 1st time. I tried to only beat off when my parents weren't home. I decided to beat off on January 2, 1977 when my parents weren't home. I also enjoyed setting fires because fire is cool. I decided to set a fire in the house and burn some newspapers because watching newspapers burn is fun and I was hoping that my parents wouldn't notice. Well, when they came home they noticed that the house smelled like smoke and my mother bitched and screamed at me for doing that. It was also in 1977 when my parents really started treating me like shit for being too weird. 1977 sucked. It was also in June 1977 when I went with my parents on a so called "vacation" to Florida to visit my grandparents who were dysfunctional alcoholics and my grandfather was an authoritarian prick who told me that he would like to throw me through a wall. I went swimming and my grandfather took my radio without asking me and he listened to a radio station that sucked. They actually have the gall to call that stuff beautiful music. It was about as beautiful as chunks of diarrhea and vomit. My father said that kind of music is good for the soul. If that music is good for the soul, then why did my grandfather turn out to be such a dysfunctional alcoholic, violent, fucked up brutal asshole, yet rock music is always blamed? On the 2nd day of our journey to hell, we had to get up at 6:00 in the morning so we could get to my grandparent's place without being too late, because when we were late, they bitched. Also, my grandfather asked my mother if it was my fault that we were late before and she told him that it was. Gee, thanks. My parents made feel as though there was something wrong with me and that I was inadequate because they thought that that would make me to be a better person, but it didn't, but it caused me to turn out to be very militant. Also, my parents don't think it's normal unless someone takes a shit in the morning right after eating breakfast and when I traveled with my parents, they made sure that they took a shit in the motel right after eating breakfast, which is what devoutly normal people do and they stunk up the motel room.

    Also, I was in special ed. My 7th grade year in special Ed wasn't that bad, but by the time I got into the 8th grade my teacher and my parents really started to put pressure on me to conform. John was 1 kid who was in my special Ed class and my special Ed teacher and my mother tried to force me to be friends with him because he was very intolerant of people who are different and non-conformist. Also, John talked a lot about masturbation (in a negative way of course) and he referred to it as "playing with yourself" and "making out with yourself". John was a real fucking asshole. I also had long fingernails and John picked on me for that as well and told me that it made me look like a girl. Also, my special Ed teacher told me that I deserved to be picked on for having long fingernails. Now, if I had a twat between my legs, it would have been OK to have long fingernails. I can never figure out the logic of stupidity. My special Ed teacher also bitched at me for being too introverted and anti-social and not talking enough to other people. Because I failed to give into expectations of being a good conformist and for being too "antisocial", I continued to remain in special Ed once I got into high school, but with a different teacher. During my 1st year in high school I was able to tolerate being in special Ed and in a lot of ways things were going quite well for me and I had a lot of hope for my future. Well, once I got into my sophomore year in high school things turned to shit. I ended up having the same asshole for my special Ed teacher that I had in junior high, which was totally unbelievable. I was determined that I was going to get out of special Ed because I was sick and tired of being treated like a 2nd class citizen. I remember 1 day, they showed this movie called "Future Shock" and in 1 scene in the movie they show 2 men getting married to each other in a church and a couple of the kids in my special Ed class said "ooh that's so sick." That's why I wanted to get out of special Ed so bad because most kids in special Ed are a bunch of fucking assholes. Meanwhile, my special Ed teacher wasn't going to let me out of special Ed unless I was willing to show signs of being a good conformist by cutting my finger nails and talking more with people although I didn't feel like socializing with a bunch of homophobic fucking assholes who say that it's sick when they see a video showing 2 men getting married to 1 another in a church.

    I knew that if I wanted to get out of special Ed, I would have to play the game or else I would not have gotten out. I had to force myself to initiate a conversation with the person who I hated the least. At the end of the school year, I had to go through a staffing meeting and hear all kinds of bullshit on why I should be kept in special Ed, but they decided to give me a compromise in which I would remain in special Ed for 1 period a day. I accepted the compromise and if I didn't get more regular classes, I would have dropped out of school. My junior and senior year sucked because kids in high school are a bunch of assholes, but at least I was out of special ed.

     At least there were some good things that happened to me when I was growing up. Something very good happened on August 18, 1978 a cat came to our house, so I finally was able to have a cat and getting a cat helped make 1978 a good year. Then of course in 1979 everything turned to shit because of all the problems I had with being in special Ed and for that reason 1979, 1980 and 1981 sucked. Then in 1982 I graduated high school, so that caused 1982 to be a good year. It was also in 1982 when I finally started driving when I was 19 years old although I could have started driving when I was 16, but my parents didn't think that I would be capable of driving because they didn't think that I was normal and 3 years of my life was wasted. My parents told me that he would let me drive the car once I got a job and I was able to get a part time job at Mc Donald's and my mother still tried to stop me from driving. Seeing that 3 years of my life had already been wasted, I realized that the only way to get my parents to let me drive was to use blackmail and sure enough blackmail it was and my parents were only going to let me drive to work, school and I couldn't drive more than a few miles from where I lived, but I wanted to drive into Chicago. I was finally able to drive into Chicago after I decided to lie to my parents about where I was going. Driving is cool!

     Another big breakthrough that I had in my life occurred in 1984, because that was the year that I got my 1st VCR. I discovered that having a VCR was cool. I went out and rented my 1st porno film and I found that to be so cool because it was like turning my parent's house in a conservative suburb into an adult video arcade. It was also in 1984 when I was at a party when I got to see a George Carlin video for the 1st time and I got to hear him talk about the 7 words that you can't say on TV, which are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, moverfucker and tits. George Carlin is cool! It took until I was 20 years old before I got to hear George Carlin because I wasn't lucky enough to have cool friends when I was growing up. Also, my parents sheltered me from hearing stuff that was cool like George Carlin in hopes that I would grow up to be stupid and boring, but it backfired because I have an obsession with smut! I noticed that being out of high school and away from all those assholes was so great and I enjoyed being able to go out and come and go as I please made me much happier, but all that was going to come to an end in 1986 because my parents had decided that they were going to move to Florida and I wasn't able to find a job that would pay me enough to live in, which meant that I had to go to Florida with them, which was the beginning of the worst 7 ½ years of my life.

   Pat still never got to talking about his 7 ½ years of living in that state of shit, better known as Florida, but if someone would be willing to publish his autobiography, it would probably be a hot seller, because the writing style is a Hell of lot more interesting than the way most people write their autobiographies and let's not forget, that Laura Ingalls was punished by being reincarnated as Pat in this world of stupidity becaus he failed to tell it like it is when he was Laura Ingalls, but you will discover that he is a lot more interesting reading in Pat's 2004 Vision of the World Page than the way Laura Ingalls wrote her novels.