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Duck walks into a bar: Duck: have you got any bread? Barman: no Duck: have you got any bread? Barman: no Duck: have you got any bread? Barman: no, and if you ask me again, I'll nail your bill to the floor. The duck is quiet for a couple of minutes and then asks: Have you got any nails? Barman: no Duck: have you got any bread?

DAMNATION and CORRUPTION "Nothing in the world delights a truly religious people so much as consigning them to eternal damnation." James Hogg 1770-1835 "Their sighin', cantin', grace-proud faces, Their three-mile prayers and half-mile graces." Robert Burns 1759-1796 "After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands." Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900 "The church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down." Robert G. Ingersoll 1833-1899

"According to a new book, they asked 50 women what they would do if they had a male sex organ for one day. Most of them said, 'Probably get a salary increase." Jay Leno

CHILDREN RIPPED UP and DASHED TO PIECES "Their little ones dashed to death against the ground, their pregnant women ripped open by swords." From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. 2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB "The people of Samaria must bear the consequences of their guilt because they rebelled against their God. They will be killed by an invading army, their little ones dashed to death against the ground, their pregnant women ripped open by swords." Hosea 13:16 NLT