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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It doesn't take the homeowner long to realize the man is drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost! It's half past three! I was in bed!" screams the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. She remarks, "Honey, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?" "But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," explains the wife. "He needs our help and it would be nice to help him." So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door but he can't see the stranger anywhere in the dark, so he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" He hears a voice cry out, "Yes, please." Where are you?" shouts the homeowner. The stranger calls back, "I'm over here, on your swing."

DAMNATION and HYPOCRISY "Nothing in the world delights a truly religious people so much as consigning them to eternal damnation." James Hogg 1770-1835 "Their sighin', cantin', grace-proud faces, Their three-mile prayers and half-mile graces." Robert Burns 1759-1796 "Women are born worshippers." Thomas Carlyle 1795-1881 "After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands." Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900

"It's very awkward being a single guy with all the diseases around. You know it's got to the point where I won't go to bed with a woman unless she says, "All right, I'll go to bed with you." " Gary Shandling

WARFARE and DESOLATE WASTELAND "I will completely destroy you and make you an object of horror and contempt and a ruin forever." Then the LORD, the God of Israel, said to me, "Take from my hand this cup filled to the brim with my anger, and make all the nations to whom I send you drink from it.� When they drink from it, they will stagger, crazed by the warfare I will send against them."� Jeremiah 25:15-16 NLT And now the LORD Almighty says: Because you have not listened to me, I will gather together all the armies of the north under King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, whom I have appointed as my deputy. �I will bring them all against this land and its people and against the other nations near you.� I will completely destroy you and make you an object of horror and contempt and a ruin forever.� I will take away your happy singing and laughter. �The joyful voices of bridegrooms and brides will no longer be heard. �Your businesses will fail, and all your homes will stand silent and dark.� This entire land will become a desolate wasteland. Jeremiah 25:8-11 NLT