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A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a God damn checking account!" The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it." he replies. "I said I want to open a God damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Angrily closing her window, the teller rushes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no freakin' problem, you shithead!" the man spews, "I just won $50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a God damn checking account in this God damn bank!" "I see," says the manager, ". . . and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

RELIGION � NO BRAINS "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." Blaise Pascal 1623-1662 "The Jews, Muslims and Christians got it all wrong. The people of the world only divide into two kinds: one sort with brains and no religion, the other with religion and no brains." Abul Al Mali, Syrian poet 1095- "Autocracy cannot do without its twin agents: a hangman and a priest, the first to suppress popular resistance by force, the second to sweeten and embellish the lot of the oppressed with empty promises of a heavenly kingdom." Lenin

KILL MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN But keep the little virgins for yourselves "They attacked Midian just as the LORD had commanded Moses, and they killed all the men. All five of the Midianite kings - Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba - died in the battle. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. Then the Israelite army captured the Midianite women and children and seized their cattle and flocks and all their wealth as plunder. They burned all the towns and villages where the Midianites had lived. After they had gathered the plunder and captives, both people and animals, they brought them all to Moses and Eleazar the priest, and to the whole community of Israel, which was camped on the plains of Moab beside the Jordan River, across from Jericho." "Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the leaders of the people went to meet them outside the camp. But Moses was furious with all the military commanders who had returned from the battle. "Why have you let all the women live?" he demanded. "These are the very ones who followed Balaam's advice and caused the people of Israel to rebel against the LORD at Mount Peor. They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the LORD's people. Now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves." Numbers 31:7-18 NLT�