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Today in Paradise |

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A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the
boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a
fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, shooting him right
through the penis. Obviously, he had to see a doctor. When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a marvelous job repairing it. As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave him a business card.
The guy says, "Is your brother a doctor?" "No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye." |


Isaac Asimov "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." Susan B. Anthony |



Man immolates his daughter to please God "At that time the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jephthah, and he went throughout the land of Gilead and Manasseh, including Mizpah in Gilead, and led an army against the Ammonites.� And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD. He said, "If you give me victory over the Ammonites, I will give to the LORD the first thing coming out of my house to greet me when I return in triumph.� I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering."
"And she said, "Father, you have made a promise to the LORD.� You must do to me what you have promised, for the LORD has given you a great victory over your enemies, the Ammonites.� But first let me go up and roam in the hills and weep with my friends for two months, because I will die a virgin."� "You may go," Jephthah said. And he let her go away for two months.� She and her friends went into the hills and wept because she would never have children.� When she returned home, her father kept his vow, and she died a virgin."� Judges 11:29-40 |

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