�What the hell do you think you�re doing?� Jenai asked slapping his arm. �I thought I was followed here.�
�Sorry,� Nickolas apologized. �I didn�t mean to scare you. I knew I was going to do that anyway if I just came back in and said �hi�; especially as dark as it is.�
�Well you should�ve just done that. It would�ve been a lot better than giving me a heart attack.�
�I didn�t want you to scream, because you would�ve just woken up Kendra and then I wouldn�t be able to do this.� He grabbed her and kissed her. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and caressed her own tongue until he heard a moan escape her. Satisfied, he stopped the kiss and looked at her. She opened her eyes and he smiled.
�What was that for?� He continued smiling. �Not that I�m complaining.� He looked her over and kissed her again.
�That�s for looking sexy in my shirt.�
�So you do like women wearing your clothes.�
�Only certain ones.� He picked her up and carried her over to the sofa.
�What are you doing?�
�We have some unfinished business from earlier.� He laid her on the sofa and got on top of her. �I think we can finish it now without any interruptions.�
�But it�s officially a new day and you said to keep it professional.�
�I lied.� He kissed her and took his hand up her legs, as he kissed her neck.
�Nick, wait. We can�t do this.� She pushed him off her and got up.
�Now you�re having second thoughts again?� She looked at him.
�It�s not that. I want to, but I can�t.�
�Why not?� She sighed.
�I just want it to be right, ya know. I want the whole romance thing. I never really had that with anyone and if I do get involved with someone again I want to do it the right way. I hope you understand.�
�I do understand.� She sighed again and started pacing the room. �JJ, what�s wrong?� She looked at him and continued pacing.
�It�s more than just wanting the whole romance thing.�
�More as in what?� She didn�t say anything and continued pacing, as Nickolas watched her.
After almost ten minutes Jenai finally said, �Remember how you overhead Dr. Littrell mention the cysts on my ovaries?�
�Yeah.�
�And remember how you said about wanting a family?�
�Yeah.� She stopped pacing and looked at him again. �And I said I could see it with you.�
�Right. Well I thought about that.�
�Really?� She nodded. �And?�
�And I always wanted a family of my own.�
�I think everyone does.� She nodded and he walked over to her, as she looked at him again. �Please go on.�
�Well despite you being a cop I was willing to give you a chance.�
�But what changed? We were getting along so well.�
�I know. Something happened to change my mind though.�
�Like what? Tell me.�
�I don�t know if I want to.�
�Why not?�
�Because I don�t want to hurt you.�
�How could you possibly hurt me?� She lowered her head, but he lifted it back up. �What is it, JJ? What�s going on?�
�Let�s sit down.� She took his hand and led him over to the sofa.
They both sat down and Nickolas asked, �Is there someone else, JJ?� She looked at him surprised.
�No; of course not. There hasn�t been anyone since Justin.�
�Then did someone say something to you?�
�No, no. Not anyone but the doctor.�
�I�m confused. What could the doctor possibly say to you that would change your mind about us?�
She took a deep breath and said, �When I was willing to give you a chance I decided to get those cysts checked out. The doctor did all his tests and he learned something new.� Nickolas listened to her closely and didn�t say anything. �Ya have to understand I had these cysts since I was 20 and I�m 24 now.� He nodded. �I�ll just get straight to it. I can�t have kids, Nick. The cysts were preventing me from carrying full term and I knew that, but didn�t do anything. Then when I went to the doctor he diagnosed me with ovarian cancer.� He just continued looking at her and still said nothing. �The cancer�s gone, I think, but I can�t have kids�at all.� He still didn�t say anything and Jenai looked at him. �I wanted to tell you sooner, but I knew how much you wanted children. I didn�t want to end up hurting you if we decided to go all the way. I didn�t think you�d want to be with me once you knew the truth so it was easier for me to push you away.�
�But it was my choice, JJ, if I still wanted to be with you. It wasn�t up to you to make that choice for me.�
�Would you have stayed if you knew the truth? Would you still have cared about me knowing the truth?�
�Yes I would have stayed if I knew the truth. Yes I would�ve still cared. JJ, if two people really care about each other then they�ll find a way to work things out. If they want children then they�ll figure out a way to get them.�
�You still want to be with me after I prevented myself from ever having a kid?�
�Yeah.�
�Well it�s not fair to you, Nick.�
�I�ll decide what�s fair for me. I want to give us a shot. If it doesn�t work out then it doesn�t. We�re not going to know unless we try.�
�Well we can�t. Not now anyway, because you��
�I have a job to do I know.�
�I just�I knew what was going to happen, but I didn�t do anything to prevent it. I left it go and acted like nothing was wrong. I wanted to believe nothing was wrong with me so I ignored it and hoped it�d go away.�
�But it didn�t.�
�Nope; it just got worse and I never knew it.�
�It�s not your fault.�
�Yes it is and you deserve better than me.�
�Is it necessary to blame yourself for everything that happens to you?�
�Yes, because it�s better than blaming the wrong person.�
�But don�t blame yourself.
�I just want to be healthy and for things to be fine.�
�They will be and you have to believe that.� He hugged her.
�I want to, but it�s just so hard to anymore with all that�s going on in my life.�
�You�ll get through it.�
�Aren�t you upset about this?�
�Yes, but I care about you and I�m willing to give it a try if you are.�
�We can�t now.�
�Can�t you just forget about it tonight? We can worry about it in the morning.� She looked at him. �I want you so bad right now.� She smiled and so did he. �My hormones are working overtime tonight and I�ll be damned if I don�t do something about it.� She chuckled and he went to kiss her, but she stopped him.
�Are you sure about this?�
�Yeah; I don�t want a kid right now anyway.� He smiled and she gave him a little grin.
�Ok.�
�Besides, I can never resist a sexy woman in my clothes.� She smiled and kissed him. He laid her back on the sofa and started undoing her shirt. �God, you�re so beautiful.�
�It�s �JJ� and not �God�.� Nickolas started laughing and Jenai hit him. �What�s so funny?�
�It�s an expression.�
�I know that, but if you�re going to compliment me then use my name and not someone else, especially God�s.� He looked at her. �I don�t want to feel like you�re making love to Him.�
�Are you doing this on purpose?�
�Of course not. I�m being serious.� She smiled and kissed him again.
�Mmm, JJ.�
�Jenai, Nick, call me Jenai. It sounds sexier.�
�Oh, Jenai.� She started to undress him, but stopped.
�Get off!� Jenai yelled trying to fend off her attacker. �Get the hell off me! Please don�t do this!�
�If you stop fighting you�ll enjoy this!� the guy said and Jenai bit his hand and he slapped her.
�Jakob!� Jenai yelled for help.
�He can�t hear you,� the guy said. �No one can.�
�Jakob!� Jenai yelled again�.
�Nick, wait, stop, please,� Jenai pleaded. �Please stop.� She pushed him away.
�What�s wrong?� Nickolas asked.
�That�s the thing, I don�t know,� Jenai said getting up.
�JJ.� He took her hand, but she pulled it away and ran back to her room, leaving Nickolas alone in the dark.
Jenai slammed the door shut and leaned up against it saying, �It can�t be true. It just can�t be.� She sunk to the floor crying, as she heard Nickolas knock on the door, but she just ignored him.
CHAPTER 12
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