Jenai laid in bed the next morning and watched as the images from the night before kept replaying in her mind. They were more clearer now and she understood them. She was raped and Jakob and her whole family lied to her. They kept it from her and she hated them for the first time in her life. They made her believe nothing happened to her except being shot. That was far from the truth though. The truth was she was raped and they all knew it. They didn�t tell her though and she didn�t understand why. She had a right to know. It was her life. They couldn�t keep something that important from her and she never remembered it happening. They should�ve known she�d remember sooner or later. But why now after all this time? Why not the first time she had sex? Or any other time she had sex? Why now with Nickolas? Why with a guy she actually wanted it to happen with?
�JJ,� Nickolas said knocking on the door. �Are you coming out for breakfast? We made some pancakes and waffles.� She didn�t answer him and looked out the window. �JJ, are you all right?� She still didn�t answer him and hoped he would go away.
She wanted to be left alone and wanted the whole world to disappear. That wasn�t going to happen though and she knew it. Life was never on her side. She had gone through so much in her short time on earth. Most of it she couldn�t remember though and the stuff she did remember she wanted to forget. She wanted to remember who hurt her, but she couldn�t. The memory always seemed to stop the second before she could see the face. She didn�t sleep a wink that night, because she didn�t want to see the image of her being raped. She didn�t need to close her eyes for that to happen. It was clear as crystal now. The only thing that wasn�t clear was the guys face. But why though? Why couldn�t she see who it was?
She heard the door open and saw Nickolas standing there. She turned away from him and said, �Go away. I want to be left alone.�
�I brought you some breakfast,� Nickolas stated closing the door and walking over to the bed. He set the plate on the stand and looked at her. �Jakob called and said they�ll be here in about two hours.�
�Jakob�s the last person I want to see right now,� Jenai said.
�Is everything ok?�
�Everything�s fine, Detective. I don�t need your concern.�
�I was just trying to��
�You don�t need to try anything, alright? I can take care of myself.�
�Ok. I�ll leave you alone then.�
He went to walk out, but Jenai stopped him, �Nick.� He turned and looked at her, but she wasn�t looking at him.
�What, JJ?�
�If you knew a secret about someone that they couldn�t remember, would you tell them?�
�I guess it depends on what it was. Why?�
�I just remembered something that I believe I had a right to know.�
�Something from the night you were shot?�
�Yeah.�
�Do you want to talk about it?� She sat up and looked at him.
�If you promise not to say anything to anyone?�
�I promise.� He closed the door again and walked over to her. He sat beside her on the bed and she just looked at him. �So what is it? What�s got you so upset with Jakob?�
�He didn�t tell me the truth about that night. I know I told him I wanted to remember on my own, but he still should�ve told me what I remembered last night.�
�What happened?�
They looked at each other a few moments before Jenai said silently, �I was raped.�
�What?�
�I was raped and didn�t even remember it.� He sighed and thought about it a moment.
�I have no idea what to say except that I�m sorry.�
�So am I. I�m sorry for ever trusting Jake. I asked him so many times if anything else happened to me that night besides being shot and so many times he said �no�.�
�It is something you should�ve been told about, but maybe he was just trying to protect you from the truth.�
�Protecting me or not I still had the right to know.�
�Yes you did.�
�The past ten years where based on lies. I trusted Jake and my whole family, but they lied to me.�
�I don�t think they did it on purpose.�
�Would you tell your loved one she was raped if she was too distraught to remember on her own? Do you believe she has the right to know?�
�Yes and no to both.� She just looked at him. �She has the right to know, because it�s her life and she shouldn�t be lied to.�
�But she shouldn�t know, because��
�She shouldn�t know, because no woman should remember that terror.�
�But she�s bound to remember sometime.�
�Yes she is and that�s why she should be told the truth.�
�I wasn�t though when I should have been although I don�t want to remember it.�
�It�s understandable that you�re angry about being lied to, but you shouldn�t hold it against Jake or your family for protecting you from that horror.�
�But I spent almost ten years on that stage at Club Z showing my body to a bunch of strangers and I never even knew the truth. If I knew the truth I wouldn�t be working at Club Z. I probably would�ve gone to Julliard.�
�You can�t hold it against them for wanting to protect you.�
�Why not? They left me live my life a lie.�
�Maybe you should talk to them before you decide how you feel about this whole thing and about them.�
�What�s to talk about? They lied to me and the only thing I feel right now is hate.�
�You don�t mean that.�
�Yes I do.� She wiped her eyes. �Have you ever known someone who was raped and then lied to about it?�
�No.�
�Then you have no idea how I feel right now. I just remembered I was raped and lied to and I have no idea what to do.�
�Talk to them.�
�That�s all people want me to do anymore. I�m tired of talking. Why can�t you just let me be angry and upset and hateful towards everyone? I have so much to hate so just let me hate it please.� He hugged her and he felt her tears on his neck. �I don�t know what to do, Nick.�
�I promise I�ll help you.�
�It�s too late to help me.�
�It�s never too late, JJ.�
�Yes it is and there�s not a damn thing anyone can do about it now.�
�He�s still out there waiting to be caught.�
�If you want to help then beat the shit out of Jakob and Kevin for me and the rest of my family.�
Nickolas chuckled and said, �I don�t think that�ll solve anything.�
�It�ll teach them not to lie to me again.�
�Why don�t I talk to Jakob for ya when he gets here since you�re tired of talking?�
�He probably won�t talk to ya.�
�It�s worth a shot.� She looked at him. �I want to help you and I don�t want this to stop us from having something.�
�This is about me and not us.�
�I know that and if you let this ruin your life you�re not going to be able to have something with anyone.� She just looked at him. �You have to be strong about this and not worry.�
�How can I not worry?�
�Because you got me to help you, ok?� She nodded. �Just be strong and you�ll get through all of this.� She nodded again and hugged him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
�JJ, you have a phone call,� Nickolas said handing her the phone.
�Is it my brother?� Jenai asked.
�It doesn�t sound like Kevin,� Nickolas replied, as Jenai took the phone from him.
�Hello?� Jenai said into the phone, as Nickolas sat beside her.
�You�re next Sex Kitten,� the person said.
�Who is this?� Jenai demanded and Nickolas looked at her.
�You�ll find out soon enough,� the person said. �I�m going to finish the job I started ten years ago and that Sergeant brother of yours can�t stop me.� Jenai heard a click and looked at Nickolas.
�Who was that?� Nickolas questioned.
�The person that tried to kill me ten years ago,� Jenai answered turning off the phone.
�What�d they say?� Nickolas asked.
�That I was next and they�re going to finish the job they started ten years ago,� Jenai replied. �And Kev can�t stop them.�
�So they followed us here then.�
�I guess, but I did have my cell calls transferred to this phone.�
�We�re going to have to leave. I�ll call Kevin and let him know what�s up.� He reached for the phone, but Jenai stopped him. He looked at her and she shook her head. �I have to call Kevin.�
�No; you can�t.�
�JJ, I have to.�
�He�s just going to make us pack up and these people will follow. Why can�t you just wait until they try something? You don�t even know if they�re here.� He just looked at her. �Please, Nick. I�m not asking you victim to detective I am asking you friend to friend. If you really care about me then please don�t call Kevin.�
�I�m not supposed to make my job personal. And I�m not supposed to let my feelings for you make my decisions, JJ.� Kendra looked at them. �And I�m not going to. I�m not going to let you decide how I do my job.�
�Did you people ever stop to think about how I feel about this? Or how this is affecting me? No; because you think you�re protecting me by having me pack up and going all over. And you guys wonder why I hate cops.�
�You could be in lock up.�
�I�d probably be a hell of a lot happier too.� She got up and went outside.
�JJ!� Nickolas got up and went after her. �JJ!� He caught up with her and grabbed her by the arm. �Don�t even think about running off.� She looked at him.
�Or what? You�ll handcuff me to the bed again? It�s not going to change the way I feel, Detective, so just forget it.�
�The next time I cuff you to the bed it�s going to be after this whole thing is over and it�s going to be kinky and to my satisfaction.� She stopped walking and looked at him, as he grinned.
�I just remembered being raped so the next time you say something sexual I�m going to have to hurt ya.�
�Sorry.� He got serious.
�Plus you know I hate handcuffs.�
�Right.�
�What do ya want?� He sighed and led her over to the swing in the yard. They sat down and looked at each other. �If you�re going to try to change my mind into calling Kevin forget it. I don�t want to call him, because he�s just going to make us leave.�
�JJ, he just wants you safe and you can�t hate him for that.�
�I don�t hate him. I just wish he would wait before he acts. When it�s me he doesn�t wait and wants to rush me off somewhere. I can understand sending me here since I was shot at, but he doesn�t need to send me away from here just because of a phone call. We don�t even know if we were followed here.�
�I know, but we still have to call Kevin. It�s my job to keep the Sergeant informed about what goes on here. I can�t keep that phone call from him.� She just looked at him. �If it makes you feel any better I�ll talk to him about staying here if he suggests we pack up and leave. It�s the most I can do right now without getting personally involved.�
�He�s not going to go for it.�
�You don�t know that.�
�I know Kevin and that�s all that matters. Once he has his mind made up just forget about ever changing it.�
�You don�t give him much credit.�
�Well you give him too much credit.�
�He�s my boss so I have to suck up.� She rolled her eyes and sat back. Nickolas looked at her and got out his cell phone. �Why don�t we call Kevin now and get this straightened out?� She just looked at him, as he started dialing.
�I should just start packing now.� She went to get up and Nickolas stopped her.
�Don�t go anywhere.� She just looked at him and he grinned. �Hey, Miller, its Nick; is the Sarge in?� Jenai continued looking at him. �Ok�no that�s alright I�ll call back later�.everything�s fine�later.� He turned off the phone and looked at Jenai. �He wasn�t there. He and Rich went to talk to Heath Rimbauer.�
�Of course they did.�
�I�ll talk him into letting us stay here until the shit hits the fan.�
�If he gives the ok it�ll be a miracle.�
�Don�t be so hard on the Sergeant.�
�I�m allowed, because he�s my brother. Even if he wasn�t I�d still be the exact same way towards him.�
�Of course you would.� She grinned. �Do you want to go back inside?�
She shook her head and said, �I want to stay out here.�
�Ok, but I have to go do some work.� He got up. �Just holler if you need anything.� She nodded.
�I will.� He grinned and she watched him walk away and gave a little smile.
CHAPTER 13
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