�I�m going to go lie down,� Sunshine interrupted and Nickolas looked at her.
�Are you all right?� Nickolas asked.
�Yeah, I just got a headache.� Plus her back was killing her and she wanted to vomit. �I�m just going to go lie down for a little bit.�
�Ok.� She gave him a kiss.
�Don�t worry about me.�
�I always do.� She grinned and walked away as Nickolas watched. �I wish there was more I could do for her, ya know.�
�Just be there,� Alexander said. �She went through a lot. Ya both did, but her more, because it�s her body and no one knows what she�s feeling right now.�
�Ya just have to give her time,� Brent added.
�I wish I knew so I could help better,� Nickolas said.
�When she�s ready,� Brent said.
�Not knowing how to help her the way she wants ya to is hard,� Alexander said. �It�s hard for us also, because we all want to help, but we can�t. We didn�t experience what you two did and it�s harder to help for us.�
�But I do appreciate the help you are giving,� Nickolas said. �I�m sure Sunnie is also.�
�What are friends for?� Brent wanted to know. �We�ll always be here.�
�I�m glad,� Nickolas said.
�Hey, Nick,� Leslie interrupted. �Where�s Sunn?�
�She went to lie down,� Nickolas replied. �She wasn�t feeling well.�
�Alright,� Leslie said. �I�ll just talk to her later.� She walked away with Christian as Nickolas shook his head.
�What?� Alexander asked.
�I can�t stand that guy Les is seeing,� Nickolas admitted. �If you see the way he looks at Sunnie then you�d understand why.�
�It can�t be that bad,� Brent and Alexander said.
�When he�s looking at Jocelyn and Destiny the same way he looks at my wife,� Nickolas began, �I want to hear you say that.�
�Does Leslie know?� Alexander asked.
�I mentioned it to her, but she just told me I was over-reacting because of the fear that someone else might be interested in Sunnie. We then got into a big argument about it and I told her that she was blind. She�s a very smart girl, but I just wish she would smarten up about that guy.�
�She�ll learn on her own,� Brent said.
�I got use to BJ and Rich, but I won�t get use to Leslie and Christian.�
�Speaking of BJ,� Alexander said. �That�s some rock she�s wearing.� Nickolas looked.
�Yeah; she and Rich are engaged.�
�Wow!�
�Mom just told me, like, an hour ago.�
�And you�re cool with it?� Brent asked.
�Yeah; she deserves to be happy and if Rich makes her happy then I can�t stand in the way of that. I wouldn�t want to have someone stand between me and Sunnie; although someone is trying to.�
�Well ya can�t let Brad come between ya�s,� Alexander said.
�I ain�t,� Nickolas said. �And I won�t.�
�Good. Ya almost left that happen once.�
�Need you people remind me of my mistakes?�
�Just making sure you learned from them,� Brent stated.
�I did. I almost lost Sunnie once and I ain�t going to do that again.�
�We hope not,� Alexander replied.
�I love Sunnie more than anything and I�ll take that to the grave.�
�Then go upstairs and hump her brains out,� Alexander said and Nickolas slapped him upside the head. �I know ya want to.�
�I ain�t going to lie, but she wants to wait.�
�Why?� Brent asked confused.
�Because she�s afraid of getting pregnant again and going through this whole mess again.�
�It�s understandable.�
�Yeah,� Alexander agreed. �But you�re cool with it? I mean, a man does nee to be satisfied.�
�Yes, but it was her decision and I�m respecting that,� Nickolas stated. �She is my wife, but I can�t force her to have sex and I ain�t going to. When she�s ready again she�ll let me know.� They looked at him. �I�m totally cool with it, because I understand.�
�I think when it comes to relationships,� Brent began, �Nick�s the only one that�s mature out of all of us.�
�Totally,� Alexander agreed. �I can hardly go three days without getting any.�
�Same here,� Brent replied.
�That�s because I actually love Sunnie,� Nickolas said. �I fell in love with her before we slept together.� They looked at him dumbfounded. �Alex, you slept with Des before you realized you loved her.� He grinned.
�I had to tastes the goods first,� Alexander replied smiling.
�What about you and Jocelyn, Brent?� Nickolas wanted to know.
�Same as Alex,� Brent said. �Had to taste the goods.� He and Alexander did a manly handshake and Nickolas rolled his eyes.
�I can�t believe I�m friends with you guys,� Nickolas stated. �You�re pathetic.�
�Have a beer and lighten up,� Alexander said.
�No thanks,� Nickolas said. �I�ll pass, because I�m going to go check on Sunnie. Excuse me.� He walked away and they watched him go upstairs.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
�Sunnie, ya have to look on the bright side,� Josephine said, as she Sunshine, Destiny, and Danielle sat in the bedroom.
�What�s so bright about this, Jo?� Sunshine wanted to know as tears fell from her eyes.
�You�re still alive,� Danielle said.
�But my children are dead. No thanks to me. They�d still be here if I didn�t give Nick a choice in the matter and left him decide. I did though and now I have to live with what happened.�
�Are you regretting letting Nick have the final choice?� Danielle questioned.
�No. No I don�t regret it. It was his right to have the final choice. He put up with me and all my problems and my damn bitchiness this whole time and I owed it to him.�
�Nick loves you,� Destiny said.
�I know that, but at times I wish he didn�t love me so much.�
�But he does,� Danielle said. �You�re the luckiest girl in the world, Sunnie Jo, because every girl dreams of having Nick love them the way he loves you.�
�I know that and I love him.�
�Then be grateful you�re still alive,� Destiny said.
�How can I do that? I gave up my children so Nick could be happy, �cause it�s what he wanted.�
�Because he know that if you died after the baby was born he�d die right along with you,� Danielle rebutted. �He didn�t want to leave his child alone in this world without any parents; so he did what he thought would be the right decision.�
�But our children are gone and not coming back.�
�Do you hate Nick for what he decided?� Destiny asked.
�No.� She wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming. �I hate myself.� They looked at each other. �If I didn�t agree to that road trip I wouldn�t be in this situation. I wouldn�t have gone through what I just did and I wouldn�t be sitting here crying my eyes out right now. Nicky and Bradley would still be the friends they once were and not trying to get me out of each others lives. If I didn�t mention the damn road trip I wouldn�t be married to Nicky and I just might actually be happy.� The girls looked away from Sunshine and to the door to see Nickolas standing there. He was looking at his wife who was crying into the pillow. �I was stupid and I still am.�
�You�re not stupid, Sweets,� Nickolas said, but she didn�t look.
�Go away.�
He walked over. �You�re a bright young lady.� He sat beside her and rubbed her back.
�No I�m not. I�m stupid and everyone knows it.�
�If you want to think that,� Destiny said and Nickolas looked at her. �The rest of us don�t though.�
�Well ya should, because I am. Any smart person knows to go to the doctor when something�s wrong, but I didn�t. I stayed away from the doctor although ya�ll told me to go. Now it�s too late. It�s too late for my children and it�s my fault. They should still be here, but they ain�t. Because of me they�ll never experience life, love, and happiness. I took that away from them.�
�But, Sunnie, it was my decision,� Nickolas said. �I wanted you to know how much I love you.�
�But you shouldn�t love me. I can�t give you children and I know that makes you angry. Everyone�s having babies, but us. V and Kev�s got three, Des and Alex have two and another one on the way, BJ and Rich are having one�� Nickolas looked at her. �Dani and Brian have one with another on the way and Jo and D have two, but we can�t even have one for the sake of my life. Just for that I deserve to die.�
�No you don�t and I don�t want to hear you say that again.�
�But it�s true, Nicky; I should be the one six feet under and not my children.� She jumped up and off the bed. �I ain�t ready for this.� She ran out.
�Sunnie!� Nickolas ran after her.
CHAPTER 36 CHAPTER 38
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