�What about?� Nickolas asked looking at her interested.
�Visiting Dr. Schulenburg.�
�You want to go to Switzerland?�
�If I have to.�
�I thought you wanted to get through this on your own?�
�I just want to see what he says and Dr. Timmons recommended him. Plus I want to get out of here for a while.�
�By yourself?�
�With you of course. I don�t want to leave without you with me this time. I don�t want to put you through that again.�
�When do you want to leave?�
�As soon as possible.�
�What about the holidays? I mean we agreed to spend Thanksgiving with your family and Christmas with mine.�
�We can still do that.�
�So you�re just talking a few days in Switzerland?�
�Actually I was thinking about the program Dr. Timmons said about with Dr. Schulenburg, the in-home one, since I refuse to go to rehab.�
�He said that takes up to almost three months.�
�I know. I was thinking about coming back for the holidays.� He just looked at her. �I was looking at some photos and stuff on the net and found a really nice townhouse by a lake. It�s in a secluded area with your neighbors at least a half mile away. It�s got a nice big yard and a boat dock with a boat. It comes furnished and reasonably priced. I called the lady and she said she can have it ready by Friday.�
�Thanksgiving�s Thursday.�
�I know. We can just leave from my parents.�
�Just like that.�
�Yeah; the townhouse is like twenty miles from Dr. Schulenburg�s clinic.�
�Do you have any idea what you�re saying, Sunnie?� She only looked at him. �You�re talking about just wanting to get up and leave. Leaving without telling anybody. Is this how you want to live your life? Just leaving town, because you think you have to and that it�s the only way you can get better?�
�It�s just until I�m better, Nick. Maybe it won�t even be three months.�
�Sweets, I don�t think you quite understand what I�m trying to say. The holidays are fast approaching and I can help you. You don�t need to Swiss doctor telling you things we both know already. You�we don�t need to go to Switzerland for you to get better.�
�He�s German, Nicky, and I need to do this. Dr. Timmons said he deals with stuff like this everyday and is very good.�
�Sunnie, we just can�t get up and leave right now. I�m sorry.� They just looked at each other.
�Fine.� She held back her tears and looked away from him. She slowly stood up and Nickolas watched her. �I just thought you�d understand my decisions, but I guess I was wrong.� Nickolas watched her walk to the stairs. �Goodnight, Nickolas.� He watched her walk up and just sat there a few minutes thinking. He got up and slowly went upstairs. He walked to the bedroom he and Sunshine shared and opened the door. The lights were off and he heard Sunshine�s soft crying. He just stood there and thought about what a jerk he was just now. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Sunshine say, �I know you�re there so you don�t need to pretend you�re not.�
�Sunnie.� He turned on the light and walked over to the bed. �I�m sorry for being a jerk. We can go if ya really want.� He sat on the bed beside her.
�No; I can go by myself. I just thought you�d love to go with me to watch me get better and cheer me on.� She turned away from him. �I can just do this on my own like I do everything else.�
�I don�t want you to do this alone considering I made you go through this. I�m going to stick by you every step of the way.� Sunshine didn�t look at him or say anything. �I love you, Baby.� He kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear and she jerked. �Did you feel something?�
�No; that tickled.� Nickolas kissed behind her ear again. �Stop it, Nick.�
�Sweets, you�re not supposed to go to bed mad.�
�Well I am.�
�We can go to Switzerland on Friday.�
�I have to be there Monday afternoon Swiss time. I have a meeting with Dr. Schulenburg.�
�Then I�ll go with you and we can check out that townhouse then.�
�I don�t want you to feel obligated to do this.�
�I don�t. I just want you to be happy.� She didn�t say anything and he laid beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and smirked as he kissed behind her ear. She elbowed him and he kissed her again. �I love you and we�re going together. I don�t want us to argue about it either. So are we still going?� She shrugged. �Sunnie, I want you to get better and not be depressed anymore, because of me. We can go to Switzerland tomorrow and see Dr. Schulenburg.�
�Whatever.�
�Why must you be complicated?�
�To annoy you.� He kissed her neck then behind her ear. Sunshine jerked and Nickolas did it again. �Nicky, stop it.�
�Are you feeling something when I do that?�
�No, I�m sorry. It just tickled.� Nickolas stayed silent and Sunshine turned to look at him. �Nick�never mind.�
�What is it?�
�Nothing.� She turned from him.
�Sweets, something�s bothering you. What is it?� She said nothing. �Is it me?� She shook her head. �Then what?� She only shook her head. �Does it involve Brian?� She looked at him. �I�ve noticed the way you�ve been acting since you saw him. I didn�t want to say anything, because I didn�t want you mad.� Sunshine sat up, but didn�t look at him or say anything. �Sunnie, you need to get it off your chest and tell me.�
�So you can be mad at me? It�s the last thing I need right now, Nicky.�
�I�m not going to be mad, Sweets.� Nickolas sat up and turned her face towards him. �Will you please tell me? I promise I�ll try to understand.�
�It�s not that simple.�
�Nothing�s ever simple. Why won�t you tell me?�
�Because what I felt was completely wrong.� Nickolas looked at her and she lowered her head.
�With Brian?� She nodded. �When he touched you or when you saw him?�
�When he touched me.� Sunshine sniffled. �I felt what I feel when you touch me.�
�Sunnie, I��
�That�s part of the reason I want to leave. When that happened I knew I had to get out of here. I have to, Nicky. I just want it to be you and me. I don�t want to be around anybody, but you.�
�I understand and we�ll go.�
�Are you mad?�
�No, I�m not mad. I�m just a little shocked.�
�I�m sorry.�
�Don�t be.�
�Maybe Switzerland can help me get through this since I�ll be with just you.�
�Of course.� He turned her to face him. �You have nothing to worry about. I�m not mad. I love you more everyday.�
�Why? I�m a failure.�
�No you�re not. So what? You made a bad decision. It doesn�t make me love you any less.� He kissed her. �Nothing�s going to make me leave you.�
�Promise?�
�I promise.� They kissed and Sunshine got a tissue off the stand.
�I never cried so much in my life.� She wiped her eyes and nose and Nickolas pushed her hair back behind her ear; tickling her. �Don�t.�
�I didn�t do anything.�
�You keep tickling me.� Nickolas smiled, as she leaned over and threw the tissue in the waste basket. Nickolas grabbed her sides and tickled her, making her jump. �Stop it.�
�Can�t you handle it?� He kept tickling her and Sunshine tried pushing his hands away while laughing.
�Nicky, stop it.�
�Never.� They both laughed, as Nickolas tickled her. �I won�t stop until you admit you feel something.�
�Yeah; laughter.�
�You know what I mean.� He stopped tickling her and they just looked at each other. �I know you do. You can�t lie to me about it.� Sunshine just looked at him. �You feel nothing when I touch you.� She shook her head and looked away. �Not even a little sensation?�
�Well, maybe a little.� Nickolas gave a little grin. �I�m sorry, Nicky.�
�I�m not mad, Sweets. I just thought�I thought you�d feel a little something under my touch.�
�I know it hurts you and I�m trying my best to get over this.�
�It does hurt and I�m going to help you get over it.�
�I guess a part of me still thinks it�s going to be over.�
�But it�s not. We�re getting married in May and spending the rest of our lives together.� He kissed her. �Smile for me, because we�re going to Switzerland tomorrow so you can get better.� Sunshine smiled. �It�s going to be fine. Everything will be back to normal before you know it. It�ll be like when we first met, when we first touched, when we first kissed, when we first got together, when we first made love�our first everything basically.�
�Makes me want to get better faster.�
�I�m glad.� He kissed her. �You were going to go to bed without taking your medicine.� Sunshine only looked at him. �It�s my responsibility to make sure you get it.�
�I don�t need it.�
�It�s the doctor�s say so, Sunnie, not ours. Stay put.� Nickolas got up and Sunshine watched him go into the bathroom. She just sat there thinking for awhile until she saw Nickolas walk out of the bathroom. He handed her the cup of water he had and she watched him take the pill bottle from his pocket. Neither said anything, as Nickolas opened it up and handed her a pill. Sunshine only looked at the pill and Nickolas sat beside her. �Sunnie, you have to take it until the doc says otherwise. I know you hate it, but there�s nothing we can do. Just take the medicine until Doc Timmons gives the ok.�
�I just wish it was over.�
�So do I.� Sunshine looked at Nickolas, as she took the pill.
�Happy?� She put the cup on the stand.
�No.� Sunshine only looked at him and he kissed her. �Now I am.� They both smiled and Sunshine climbed under the covers.
�Are you going to join me?� She smiled.
�Only if I can sleep really, really, really close to you.� She smiled and nodded. Nickolas smiled in return and Sunshine watched him strip down to his birthday suit. Her turned off the light and climbed in bed beside her.
�No foreplay.� Nickolas didn�t say anything, as he wrapped his arms around her and grabbed her chest. �I mean it. You never do what I say. You�re pathetic, Nicky.�
�I�m sorry. I promise I won�t do it again. I love you.� He made a puppy face.
�I love you too.� They kissed and just laid there in silence.
CHAPTER 20 CHAPTER 21
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