Q: Does Dulcimer Zither still have a drug habit?
A: This is another example of how scurrilous rumours propagate in today�s mass-media dominated society. This insidious innuendo has its roots in a chance remark on a syndicated talkshow by Dr Shirton-Backwards, the famed Oxford-based academic and �public intellectual�, which he has since publicly repudiated. Indeed, he had the good grace to acknowledge that his unfounded allegation that �Duke� had a drug habit was caused by a brain seizure, likely induced by unusually low levels of claret in his blood at the time.
In fact the only drugs to which Mr Zither may be said to have any form of addiction are:1,3-cis-butyl-phenyl-trans-anachro-6,7-bis-oxycarbocrapathene, as a 3% saline solution buffered by bicarbonate as a glycerol gel, taken daily by anal suppository; and, cayenne-cinnamon snuff, as his own preparation. The latter he prefers to have administered 4 or 5 times or day off the nipples of Asiatic lesbians.
Q: Why do some fans call the Anachronisms �Leo and the Fish�?
A: This is almost certainly one of the major pieces of evidence for the so-called �multiverses� theory of cosmological physics. It appears that there is a very close parallel universe in which the �lads� decided to take the name �Leo and the Fish� and this information has leaked across the quantum vacuum interface into our universe. The parallel universe appears to be identical to ours in every other way (other than the group�s name) except that in that universe Sue won the first �Survivor�. Physicists are trying hard to determine if this leak is due to a space-time �singularity�, some other anomaly, a clue to a �Grand Unified Theory� or a �bad hair day� on the part of the Creator. Credence for this a plausible name may be adduced from the confirmation by Wentworth Sutton, the authoritative chronicler of the group (and renowned semiologist, in his own right) that the astrological sign of three band members is Pisces and of the fourth, Leo.