as good as you

i spent all day drunk
wanderin around
tryin to run away from
thoughts that wouldnt drown
and the clearer i see
that without you, there's no me
the more i drink
and the more i think

i had heard somewhere that
drugs are an escape
and to not feel so bad
you've got to face the pain
but the tougher i hang
in the midst of all these things
the more they change
and i feel the need to run away...

unfortunately for me
you were the only thing i had to run to
so now what do i do?
with every sip, i forget
just a little bit of what we went through
but the drugs arent as good as you...

tha story...

As a self-proclaimed alcoholic, I find that excessive drinking does absolutely nothing for depression. This song was written in the middle of a drunken stupor, during which I realized that the more alcohol I consumed, the more sad I became. I had tried facing the proverbial music and dealing with the problems I was having, but touching on the truth scared me and made me want to drink even more. Vicious, vicious cycle. In this song, my choice comes down to dealing with my problems and feeling miserable about them - or drinking and feeling even more miserable.

tha dedications...

To Steven, of course. I went through a crazed bout of alcoholism that I am, to this day, still recovering from. I dont blame you for my drinking - I just want you to know how important our issues together weigh in on the rest of my life.

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