date:March 12, 2003
time: 1:42 AM
Hey there anyone...I haven't written in this for a while and I like to look back in ths section to see what I was thinking at the time, so I am gonna write. I don't know what I really have to say, but I'll just talk.
Since my last entry, I have entered the prestigious Cape Fear Community College and taken up 4 classes, well 4 art classes: Design, Computer Art, Portfolio/Resume, and Photography. Design is a little dull, but I look forward to seeing Jacob this guy I met in there. We've kinda become friends and just talk and stuff in class. I'm doing well in Design, we've done a bunch of projects and it HAS refreshed my knowledge in basic design. Computer Art was none to fun in the beginning, but now we have more open projects and I am of course adding more people and things in my stuff. So it's fun and I am getting the hang of Computer Art. We started with Illustrator, and will be moving on to Photoshop soon. Portfolio class is great because I really like my teacher, and we learn stuff that will helo me later on in my 'art' career, plus the class is small so we're kinda like a lil family, and everyone's really nice. Photography is the class I have learned the most in, b/c before, I knew NOTHING about photography and I didn't really appreciate photography. But my teacher is really cool, she's easy to talk to and knows alot about what she teaches and now I know how to work Tait's camera, and develop pictures, and kinda what to look for when taking pics. So school...going good, even thought its a community college. It's giving me something to do while I decide what to do with the rest of my life.
But yeah...what else? Tait is coming Saturday for his Spring Break, and I am already on mine. Jennica is coming when mom is going to Ireland (late June). I haven't seen her since 9th grade, so it's gonna be awesome to see her again. Although I am sure it will take a little getting used to, to be actually hanging out. Crazyness...yo. hehe. Plus I might follow her back to CA after she visits me. AND when Tait graduates from his undergrad 4 years of college, mom and I are gonna be going up there to NY to see the graduation. I've never been to NY, and we're gonna go to NYC too just b/c it's like a rule to go there if you go to Long Island. So I'll be traveling a bit over the summer...which is cool.
I'm still not leaning in any particular direction with say, my future, BUT...I have considered some stuff. I am looking into ECU for a couple years and then moving on to a more expensive college (Pratt, etc) to complete my Bachelors. And for what degree I would be going for, I MIGHT get a Master's in maybe Fine Arts or Design or something, b/c really, if you have a Master's in Fine Arts, you can do any Art related job as well as teach (which I could do when I am feeling too old to have a regular job). Who knows. But ECU seems like a def possibility, but then there is also that whole free CA State college thing that I have to talk to mom about. I dunno the details on that.
But yeah. That's about all I feel like typing, I'm not in the mood to get all into the emotional details of anything and besides, my fingers hurt. I swear I am gonna have carple tunnels (sp?) syndrome at 21.

date: December 4, 2002
time: 1:43 am
I saw the Goo Goo Dolls Friday with Erin and her mom. It was great. We left late and shopped around a bit, I didn't really get anything of significance, but we made it to the House of Blues. After a line to get in, I convinced Erin and her mom to stay in the pit and we inched our way forward while Lisa Loeb played. Lisa was funny by the way, better than I thought she'd be. But FINALLY they came on, and I could actually see Johnny Rezeznik sweat. I've never seen a musician that close performing before. All the music was great, and the band was funny. It was a rush to be in the pit, cool stuff.....yo. My fave songs of their stuff, besides the obvious, are What A Scene and Big Machine. I like all those bands like the GGDs. Third Eye Blind, Matchbox 20, etc.

I guess I will talk about my Dawson's experience too. I'll be a brief as possible. If you watch the show: Joey, Prof. Heston, Eddie, Megan, and Harley were there. I haven't watched the show in forever, so I asked around. I did a lot of fore and background work, I'll be seen. It was filmed in the Hell's Kitchen Bar, and it's episode 612- All the Right Moves. I met some cool people, but mostly I hung around this girl named Jodi from Missouri. She was almost 21 I think and really nice. I also hung out with Chris a guy that just finished college, so I panomimed with him too. There were the bunch of hot guys too. Of course. Everyone was friendly, it was like some alternate reality, the niceness and camera's and stuff. I took some pics, that I will try to put up. I got paid about 200 bucks, which I will see the check soon I hope. I plan on doing more stuff in the future with them. Heston was cute, Eddie (Goldie Hawns son) had skinny legs, Joey didn't talk to anyone, and her bf Chris Klein was there too. He was funny. Yeah, that sums it up. Here are the pics of the stars:

Hey I just looked up online who these people were, and Mika Boorem was in the Patriot, she was good in it too, The Patriot was filmed around here. I already said that Oliver Hudson is Kate Hudson's bro, and yeah, the Roger Howarth guy is on One Life to Live, I dunno what the others have done.

Random thoughts: I wanna see Third Eye Blind in concert. LOTR kicks ass and I wanna hang with the hobbits. Elijah is getting sexier with every stupid nerdy thing he does. Can't wait for The Two Towers, I'm about to pee myself over it. I need some more jeans. I haven't seen Dylan in a while, I think I'll give him a call and see how his senior project went. 'Night, everyone!

date: November 23, 2002
time: 3:23 am
Gosh, I was a little long-winded in the last entry, and I think I feel another gust of wind coming along, hehe. I think that when I am confused, I ramble on to myself until I am so thoroughly confused, that I just give up trying to understand how I feel about things. SO yeah. today I was supposed to get pip and dylan with anna after their school lets out. but I found out that dylan couldn't do anything directly after school, so he couldn't come. that kinda put me in a not so happy mood, and we went to pips and to taco bell, and then stopped by dylans to see if he could do something THEN. He was playing his drums, so he and pip played together (pip on guitar). I am so incredibly jealous of dylan. that bastard (I use the term in an affectionate, non-offensive way) can really play the drums. he taught himself, and has only played for like a year or something. ARGH. I wanna play the drums, but I have never lived anywhere thats permissible to have them around. but seriously, it was cool to here those two play and stuff. but THEN he said he (dylan) couldn't really do anything the rest of the night- that he was grounded. so then I was like, well fuck fuck fuck. it's so hard to get that boy to go anywhere, much less get to know the bastard. every guy is a bastard in this entry, ok?

so, A, P and I decided to call erin and zach, and went to erin's and picked her up. we were supposed to call zach at 9. there we had fun talking about hanging yourself and stuff- you'd have to be there I guess. we called dylan one more time, and this time he said he could do something at HIS house, which was fine with me and everyone else. I hadn't seen him in awhile, and really wanted to hang out. So we get there, never get to call zach btw b/c dylan's phone was no where to be found. over at d's house we played around on the comp, watched a movie, and then walked to pip's friend's house which was fun. then back to dylans, and then home around 1. so yeah.

do you guys ever get to the point where you feel as though you are being completely obvious about something, and it just doesn't get through to the person you want it to get thru to? that you are just wasting your time? cuz there's this situation I am in, and without going into details, really, it is driving me up the fucking proverbial wall. I don't wanna be offensive, and I try so damn hard to not dwell on the circumstances, but it's awfully frustrating. I might have lost you guys already, but this really gets to me. how do you just confront the situation, you know? I'm afraid that if I do, I will be completely let down, b/c I get no surefire signal about what I should do. or how do I move the hell on, and should I? I dunno, I wish I could go into more detail.

but on to other stuff. I think I am bitching by now, but as stated before, it's my site, so there. you know what pisses me off? lies. stupid ones. if you tell a good one, and get away with it, more power to you. but if it's over stupid stuff, it's really annoying. especially if its told to one of your best friends. whats the point of it? really? and excuses. dumb ones. I hate those too. I use them alot, but at least I use good ones.

hmmm, more stuff that pisses me off? shy guys. why the fuck are you so damn shy? open up, you bastards. stand up for yourself. pick up on stuff. look people in the eye. talk. it's such a waste of time. again, I'm not being very fair, shy guys are better than obnoxious ones, but they sure are frustrating as well.

yeah, that's alot of stuff to ramble about, so I'll shut up. and for the record: no job, no future plans for sure, no final decision on really anything. thank you and.....g'night.

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