7/27/02
Baa...I'm not really crabby or annoyed specifically at anything, but I'm kinda down. Despite the fact that I hate Shitland Theater, I've always loved the "atmosphere" I guess you could say. There are theater groupies that hang out at highland, lots of really cool people, fun things to do, screenings with everyone there. I've practically lived there for the past year and have come to love some of the people to death. So, I guess the ironies of life have set in convieniently, trying at every waking moment of my life to bring any sort of happiness down the shitter. And thats what's happening, it's going to shit. Not like...about to shit, like arriving at shit. Fuck you I don't care. Never mind, anyways. My theater was sold to the Evil Children's theater of Minnesota. As early as September, it will be gone, and a bunch of little punk kids are gonna be running around crying to mommy about how they want to ride the pony and how the man in the mask is scary...waaaaa. Stupid kids. The next Grand Theft Auto game should let you run over kids and hit baby carriages. Anyways, to make matters worse, two of my good theater friends are moving to Colorado, and one of my other theater friends is moving to Florida. So, all in all, the little community built over the year will soon be gone. I'm just waiting for one good thing to happen to me this summer. I have no money, no girl, some of my friends seem to be ignoring me, soon- no job, no life, small amounts of self respect, and more zits. If life is a race, I'm walking it...at the speed of my grandma with no arms or legs. Before I leave...If love comes from the heart, why do I have a penis?

7/18/02
Sorry I havn't ranted in such a long time. We had to switch our internet company because QWest sucks really bad. I've had a lot of cool things happen lately. I went to the Green Day concert with my (I wish) lover. It was pretty cool. Yeah, speaking of which, I think she is the only person who doesn't pick up on who I like, dumb bia. Yeah, shit son. Lets see, I met alot of fucked up hippies last week at a joint concert with The String Cheese Incedent, G Love, Los Lobos, and The Big Wu. I got half-baked off second hand smoke, coinciding with the fact that I'm obsessed with the movie half-baked for some odd reason. So, these people include funny girl; she had a beer belly like an old person and had obviously smoked to much by the sound of her voice. Food girl; she offered Kevin and I a disgusting chunk of hamburger that had squished in her sweaty hand. Scary girl; a dancing girl that literally danced for six hours without stopping, now that's what I call and acid-trip. Hobo guy; a dude with eyebrows so bushy I thought he was gonna jump out at me from a trashcan and rape me in the woods. Drunk Guy; now, there were alot of drunk people, but watching this guy play hackey sack was about as sad as watching me stand up for myself against millions of people offering me "chocolate mushrooms." I didn't even know they made different flavors. What'll they think of next? Anal hair clippers? Sex Robots? Swank Sauce/suey flavored Marijuanna? Eyeball piercings? A working school system...wait, no. Moving on...um...Lets see, I pulled a pretty suave move the other day. Lizzie watched the beginning of my soccer game and I scored a goal for her. yay. Yeah, I've met quite a few girls this summer, almost all of which are dumb. I think I'm gonna stick to my already girl friends (read, friends that are girls), because I already know they are cool and won't act like Idiots if I hang out with them. Anyways, my word of wisdom for the day...Wisdom, that's a good one. My question for the day...why do little girls feel the need to hit on me? Geezus. Stupid little girls...leave me alone and send over your sisters or something. Before I go, Sarah, who I'm going to refer to as "Swervy McGee", or "The Red Light Runner," says that I'm wrong about girl drivers. No, I'm never wrong. You are wrong, and you smell. Oh, and Lizzie, I'm glad you and what's his beef are desperately in love and living in a life of Shakespeare poetry and romantic comedies. That's not sarcasm by the way, it's envy.

6/30/02
So let me tell you, driving is a big letdown. Now sure, I get to chill with cool people (haha, that's a pun) like Lizzie more often, but holy crap does it make me want to rant. There are some stupid fuckers out there. You have no idea. People drive like thier brains are on autopilot, and when something in thier course changes they panic or just keep acting stupid, or better yet, they do the next best thing, honk a million times. You know, honking is soooo important, and it's not annoying or anything. I was on the freeway, letting this guy merge so he wouldn't crash into a guardrail, so, naturally, the lady behind me honked a bunch of times at me because I was using common courtesy. Stupid lady, next time she honks I hope she doesn't have her wrinkly hands on the wheel and she drives off a cliff, or better yet, into a Blockbuster. I've also noticed that women are terrible drivers. No wonder Men's insurance is higher, they get all pissed at the women cutting them off, swerving, and driving like quadrapalegics, then the men just run them off the road. And any of you feminists that disagree can suck on my Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson because I've almost been hit by THREE women, and no men. Anyways, my day was nice, me and David went to play pool, so I asked these really hot girls next to us to play teams. They agreed and we kicked thier asses. haha...it was funny. We had a good time. Score one point for Chad.

6/23/02
La dee da...I am in heaven. Not any particular reason, I have nothing going for me, but I'm at peace with myself. Well, I guess there are a couple of reasons. First of all, I've been spending some quality time with the magical person I like. (I'm pretty sure she never reads this stuff so I'm safe) I sound like a dorky middle-school kid, but trust me, from talking with her, I don't seem like her type, plus, I don't think she really wants a relationship with anyone. I'm not really sure. Like, I want to ask her out, but...um, maybe I'm just stupid. Stupid relationships. Anyways, my philosophical comment for the day-everyone should get a licence..my social life has doubled, my fun has doubled, I can go out and waste my money on stupid shit, my friends dont make fun of me for being a loser, I dont' need rides from my mommie, and the best of all, If I ever get a date, I don't need my girl to pick me up. WooHoo! This whole driving thing is like an orgasm in the form of a heavy automated machine. YeeHaw, Me gotta hankrin for sum a dat' puntinanny. Come round 'gin hunny buns, Big Chaddy got summa'dat sweet luvin back up in 'ere

6/20/02
Well, I'm taking my driver's test today, but if it is in anyway as irritating as everyone says, this should be interesting. Hm... I would go on a huge tyraid, but I'm in a suprisingly good mood. Yeah, I had to work two nine hour shifts at work the past couple of days, which started as a complaint but just ended up being pathetic because I was sneaking out and taking hour and a half breaks, sleeping, watching BOTH movies straight through, girl watching, and making fun of ugly, stingy people that work in Highland. The only really painful experienc was..err, two painful experiences, was this old guy that kept arguing that he gave me a $20, when in fact he gave me a $10. I knew he was wrong, because the customer is ALWAYS wrong, but he claimed that he only had twenties and no tens to pay with. I just responded, (after we argued) "Yeah, even though I'm right, I'll get the manager for you anyway." Eat that you old bastard...I'll show you what a twenty looks like when I shove it up your wrinkly ass. Well, what happened was he had spent that other ten ON TICKETS! What a moron. Second story...Last summer, there was this super hot girl I made the mistake of talking to. You know, summer hormones kicking in at this point, and she was gorgeous. Well, it turns out that this particular girl is the stupedest person on the face of the earth. I heard some of the most uintellectual statements I've ever heard spew out of this girl's mouth. You have no Idea how stupid she is, you cant even fathom that a functioning person could have such low motor skills. Anyway, she always came in to say hi to me.(I'm probably the only person that ever spoke to her for more than 30 seconds.) Well, anyways, she waved to me yesterday, and I relived all the past torchers of listening to her speak. So now I'll have to deal with her again this summer. Damn it. Is there no attractive people left that aren't taken or dont suck? Wowzas yeah, I actually feel pretty good about myself right now, sure I'm single, and sure I'm pathetic, but I finally got a life (almost) and I have a huge crush on someone. Yay me, I probably don't have a chance, because I'm not her type, and I suck, but hey man, at least I'm starting to care again! Plus, I've gotten a whole shitload of complements lately. Dude, count 'em "gorgeous" "pretty eyes" "beautiful"(which felt a little strange to hear, but whatever) "cute", a random person gave me her phone number and told mr to call her, a random person asked me if I wanted to go eat when I got off work, "cutie." All this stuff was in the last couple of weeks, that rules. C'ya

6/16/02
Yeah, I'm not getting older, I'm getting bitter. Lizzie, I wasn't actually pissed off, I just took it personally. Anywho, yeah Liizzie, I guess I accxomplished the task of restoring a relationship with and old close friend. I'm laying on the cheese now, but Lizzie, I'm glad I have you as a friend again. I'll leave it at that, oh and I called you to go eat but you weren't home.

6/13/02
Whatever Lizzie. I love you too, but you suck. Do you not realize that even though I don't get beaten or abused or neglected I don't have the right to feel a little down sometimes? I can't have feelings? Let me tell you something...I've had some pretty rough times in the past couple of years so don't give me that shit about not knowing what it's like. Dude...I know. Whatever, I'm feeling better anyways so I have no need to feel down anymore, cuz most of my problems are gone now. Oh, and that is a rant, a rant about how depressing life can be sometimes, and the point is not that I have it really rough and I'm whiney, it's that my year was pointless. Peace.

6/11/02
Last day of school, so why am I so depressed? Well, lets see here. Last night I did eight hours of homework. Now mind, you, this is because Ms. Hick, the greatest teacher in the world and she gave me a last ditch atempt at passing her class. It's hard on a person though, especially when they hate school as much as me. So I feel crappy. Anyways, I started the day super happy and excited about school ending. As I sat there alone in the band room fourth hour, I recapped my school year and this is what I came up with.
1-Made fun of people lower than me
. 2-Ruined my chances with Sarah
3-Wasted a hell of alot of time dwelling over us breaking up.
4-Slacked off in school
5-Wrote the most offensive paper in history to a techer I like
6-Ripped Catelyn Magistad apart (behind her back)
7-Ripped Jacob Barker-Huelster apart (behind his back)
8-Mooned and flpped off various children
9-Wasted my life
10-Didn't learn anything outside of a book I read in a week
11-Got uglier
12-Got lazier
13-I'm sure alot of people hate me now, which actually doesn't bother me that much
14-Wasted a hell of alot of money on crap
15-Spent lots of time plotting against the Shitland Theater
16-Was a giant asshole to a good friend (Nelle)
17-Was a giant asshole to a good friend (Rachel)
18-Wasn't nice enough to best friend (David)
19-Laughing at people with disorders.
20-Pointing at old people
21-And making class a hell for many of my teachers.

So, can you see why I'm depressed? I offer nothing as a human, and frankly, I don't have anything going for me. Oh brother, Im going to go to work now.

6/10/02
Ugh, that was the worst weekend of my life, after playing stupid x-box on a sixty inch TV (which ALMOST made it good), I wrote two 4 page papers, and an 8 page paper. Then wrote journals on a book that I can't enjoy because I am constantly irritated by the fact- that I have to write the dumb journals. But, after staying up untill 4 o'clock doing science work, only to learn that I have no possible way of passing, I feel a little stupid (and stoned for some odd reason). My brain is working about half the speed it's suposed to. Yes, that is possible, don't make any cracks. And no, I'm not actually stoned. I hate school so fucking much, it's almost over but I can't stand the thought of having to come back to this shithole. Its a good thing I can read Geoff and Lizzie's rants cuz they always improve my mood. Yeah, you guys rule. Martin, you never rant. David you never rant. Lara, you are stupid for not figuring this system out. Lizzie, we need to hang out this summer, because you are my sex-goddess. Geoff, I'd love to help with your movie. Bill Gates, if I ever see you in an alley, u funna diy. Patricia Harvey, I hope you like the swastica of books I burn outside your house. Catelyn Magistad, I'm gonna steal your pimple cream. Oh, wait, you never use it, that's why you are so ugly. Jacob Barker Huelster, stop being an ass. Cali Kane, I hope you like the new drones you've recriuted to follow you around, Kimberly Stienerson-Die! Sarah, see you this summer, without Semen Sam. Watch your back Mr. Busch. Oh, and if you have pretty naked pictures of yourself you want to send me, go ahead. Um...just kidding. Almost, this is gonna be another single, patheticly fun summer, since I don't take advantage of people I never get any, and frankly, I'm so crabby I almost don't care. Bah, whatever. If anyone wants to come foward and complement me, please, go ahead, write an anonymous message board letter, I'd feel really special. Anyways, peace out.

6/8/02
Let's see, good news is...I'm gonna get a new clarinet pretty soon, schools gonna be out, I have lots of money and summer is gonna be a joyous time, I guess I'm getting along with everyone, and I have alot of fun things planned out. Bad news...I feel like shit, I'm annoyed with life, I'm going to go through another summer without a girlfriend, I hardly have motivation to live because barely anything makes me happy anymore, I hate my job, my family thinks I'm a crabby jerk, and overall I'm just depressed. I don't understand it, there are so many people out there with lives so much worse than mine, granted, these people are usually people I hate, but some of them end up being the nicest people I know. I don't have a bad homelife or anything, and I don't get bullied or have any serious problems. So why am I so emotionally fucked up? The only thing I can think of is, maybe since I don't spend time thinking about my problems, I have more time to spend thinking about how pathetic earth is. We sit around and act like we are the best thing to ever hit the earth, while the only reason we are like that is the denile that we have failed as a species on the planet. If we weren't so stupid, we maybe could have lived like tribals, which is what humans are supposed to be. See, read that shit. It's constantly running through my head. The other day I was thinking about how they tell us that monkeys in Africa gave us AIDs. Bah, I don't believe that. I bet you it was made by the government back in the early 80's (or whenever that came about) to kill homosexuals, because it was becoming more accepted, but they didn't realize that bisexual people would spread it. Ugh, never mind.

6/7/02
I rant alot, I just realized that. Sad. Well, I can't stop thinking about how painful playing at the senior graduation was. Pomp and Circumstance was played 9 times...err. Alot of people were crying that thier friends were going away and such. I couldn't help but notice that half the seniors did some pompous pretentious crap dance as they got thier diplomas. Seeing all those people making complete fools of themselves just made me happy that I wasn't going to have to deal with most of them ever again. I prayed that some moron would fall down the stairs but that unfortunately didn't happen.

6/4/02
Ok, read this news article I found ...what'll they think of next? Bomberman blamed in suicide � "Police point to a Bomberman game as a possible cause of a 12-year-old girl's suicide. Police in Ratchaburi, Thailand, have singled out a Bomberman game as a possible reason why a 12-year-old girl, Siriwan Khao-snoh, committed suicide. According to police, the girl had stated how she was frustrated with the game and unable to complete it. However, the mother believes that her daughter's suicide was caused by some of the cartoons she was watching. "I think she hanged herself like a doll in cartoons," the mother said. "She loved cartoons. She often said she wanted to vanish like many cartoon characters did." The local police are planning to interview Siriwan's friends and teachers to look for any other possible motives behind her suicide. In addition, the Thailand Public Health Ministry has issued a warning that says parents should be selective about which games their children play. "

Hahaha... how dumb is that? The people of this earth are so stupid it blows my mind. First of all...oh god. Second of all...so now according to these police, every time a person is frustrated they go and commit suicide. It's a good thing life has no complecations or I don't know what I'd do. Poor girl, she must have had it rough. Third of all...I am positive she didn't commit suicide over a videogame, so that probably means she just learned how stupid the world is a little earlier than she should have. Her bitch mom probably beat her every night after heavy drinking, and her dad probably was "interfering" with her, and her school probably mentally rapes her, and she probably stole that gameboy from a rich kid since she had never recieved a Christmas present because her parents spentthier money on alcohol. Stupid people. Stupid cop investigators.

5/31/02
HI CHAD, I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I FIGURED OUT HOW TO USE WALLPAPER. AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME? I HOPE YOUR GIRLS PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED TODAY. DON'T PLAY DODGEBALL WITH NELLE YOU HERE?I SOUND LIKE ONE OF THOSE FAT SOUTHERN PEOPLE. TIZIGHT

LIZ (later) oh damn she's pissed. Um...for once in my life I think I might have to deal with a problem instead of beating around it and waiting for it to go away. Aww...stupid relationships. I never seem to know what I want now due to all my girlfriends breaking up with me for no reason. Stupid Amira, stupid Greta, stupid Sarah. Friggin' BIAs. Stupid person I like (I don't even want to like her, but she's so great. What a waste of time. Dumb girl...just turn into a bitch or something so I have a reason to hate you.) Ugh...I'm gonna have to go about this as honest as possible with her, and probably watch her...well...throw her poop at me for lack of a better analogy. Physicly rhyming with effincy, I've started rhyming see? Um...never mind. Yeah. I hate human emotion so much, it just interferes with my life and makes me feel like a jerk. Damn man, I'm sorta in a situation that I don't want to deal with. I want to be alone, pathetic, with my computer writing white, dorky hip-hop music.

5/30/02
Ugh...I just had to be an ass poop to a really great girl just because I am a stupid muther. I really have liked someone in the back of my mind (a.k.a. I ignored it) since like seventh or eighth grade. It's bugging me and I want it to go away cuz damn nigga', it's fucking with me. I'm kind of an asshole, but I never noticed until five minutes ago. Um...bye.

5/29/02
Err...die highland theater. I was supposed to be there yesterday, but I had Nathan work for me. Thanks man. I cant take much more of Busch's crap. Part of me wants to kick serious ass and quit on a disgruntaled rampage, but if I do that I need to get a different job...and soon. Then I wouldn't need a referral so I could rape the theater. Plus I like my unlimited disposable income. Sorry about the last rant by the way...I went on a huge tyraid and I was pissed as you already guessed.

5/26/02
God Fucking ass damnit. I'm so sick of my fucking job. I can't take much more of this crap I put up with at the Shitland Theater. Fuck you mann theaters. How can you be so stupid to hire bastards like Bob Busch? You shouldn't have demoted him from Stillwater, you should have thrown him out on the streets and shot him. OK...imagine this...
Chad walks into work. Chad is greeted by the smell of dead rats, popcorn, and the thought of another painful day of getting paid 5.75 and hour. Chad says hi. It doesn't matter though, the people Chad is working with aren't his friends, because he is never scheduled with friends because there would be the possibility of liking his job, and thats how the stupid theater is run. Chad punches in. Chad looks at pond scum and forces a smile. Pond Scum is Mr. Busch. Mr. Busch farts on his moldy chair and makes a gesture reminding Chad how much Mr. Busch hates him. Mr. Busch calls Chad Dewey Needhim and laughs behind his back. Chad calls Busch names like "child molester," "fucknut," "asshole," "bastard," "mongoloid," "retard," and "old woman raping pee drinking cum chugging fuck faced muther of ass sucking houdini climax of a runt testicle" and laughs behind his back. Chad leaves office. Customer pees out diet coke on floor, then other stupid bastard customer slips and falls on it. Customer cries to Chad. Chad continues being a drone for Mr. Busch and resists the urge to kick some serious ass. Customer cries later about how popcorn had two too many grains of salt. Chad pours burning hot oil on fat bitch. Chad throws salt in customer's eyes. Chad laughs. Husband asks for a raincheck, since his ugly wife is blind. Chad slits his throat with raincheck. Chad takes ammo reserves out of cash register, along with cash and a shotgun out of pants pocket (somehow). Chad joins up with Ezra, Nathan, Rachel, Lee, Tom, and Nhia, as the proceed to kill everyone in the Highland area. Mr. Busch stumbles out of office drunk, and tries to send Chad home. Nathan breaks free of the chains holding him back and turns into the incredible hulk. Nathan hangs Mr. Busch and steals all shitland Theater's money. Everyone is happy, and the world is a better place.

Anyways, back to reality...Yesterday I asked that stupid Kid James if instead of being a ugly little bitch he'd try helping us work for a change, and clean the popcorn maker. So, naturally, since he's better than everyone remember, he goes to sweep the floor. Thanks James. I really appreciate being blown off a bugeyed freak. Then, fucking Busch comes up and tells me that I should clean it, because James is higher on the seniority list. Allright...SINCE WHEN DID THAT MATTER? WHAT THE FUCK? SO NOW, SINCE I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE LONGER THAN NATHAN AND RACHEL (the co-managers) I CAN BOSS THEM AROUND? Sounds good to me Mr. Busch, you've opened up a world of opportunity for me. Fucking old man. Go home to your only friend the newspaper and listen to your windchimes some more. Oh, and while you're at it, mix some iodine into that alcohol you drink every night before you go to bed and do us all a favor. Oh, even better, my midget friend Nathan got shorted 119 dollars...no, thats not a typo, and he's going to be managing soon. Yay, I hope all of you are happy you got Nhia to quit. Nhia worked there for two years, but he didn't get promoted, so he quit with good reason. Fuck you Mr. Busch. He was such a cool guy. He deserved it. Fuck you Bob. I hope you cry when I steal your chair pad, and kill your stupid fish, and break your windchimes, and pee on your Coke, cuz then you wont have any reason to live anymore...and the world will be a better place.

5/24/02
Ugh...school has been painfully boring. I go about 4 times a week on average...and I'm not a senior yet. I've just been sitting around, playing Resident Evil (for gamecube by the way-the most realistic game to date). Lets see, slacking off in every class, while telling myself that I'm actually trying, um, working on this website, farting on my cat, not complaining about Sarah, working, and overall failing as a worthwhile member of society

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