5/19/02
Star Wars blew me away...go see it. Go see yoda kick ass. Enjoy.

5/17/02
I was at Kevin's house yesterday, on his trampoline, when a busload of middleschool kids pulled up to the red light. So, naturally, I decided to "jump" on this opportunity. I pulled down my pants and showed the kids the light. Well, the moonlight at least. I heard a "eeeew" as I jumped up and down. Then one little kid yelled "I'll kick your butt." I screamed back, "bring it you little bitch" and flipped them off. I enjoy the small things in life...and hate everything else.

5/16/02
Hmmm...haven't ranted in a couple of days. Martin and david need to rant more...lara...why havn't you ranted? Geoff is the only person living the legacy man. Anyway, I can really "feel" Geoff on a couple of rants. The ones about school especially. School is getting really old...fast. I'm already slipping into a senior slide. I havn't even bothered to take those IPGreen or ICUP or IBMFire or ACT tests. Ugh...the inevitable is coming. After 13 years of school I'm getting really disgruntaled. Every day I wake up with flem in my throat, a headache, a runny nose, and an everlasting hatered towards school. It feels like burning. I AM NEVER HAVING CHILDREN. I don't want them to have to deal with all the shit we go through every morning, five days a week, just to look foward to the weekend so our parents can yell at us for thier own insecurities and hatered toward life. By the time we are retired we are too ugly and stupid to enjoy ourselves, let alone live life to it's fullest. Besides, if I had kids, I would fuck them up. Every night I would tell them to call thier mom names and call me Jesus. Never mind. By the way... Sarah read the rants...I think she's pissed.

5/11/02
Um...Sarah is on a quest to find this website. I hope she doesn't take it too seriously. I mean, it is serious, but...you know what I mean. I just want to explain to everybody that Sarah is one of my best friends and I don't mean to seem like I don't like her. She was my only source of stress for a while there, but not anymore. Sarah, I love you to death, even when you tell me about wussboy. C'ya!

5/10/02
So I cleaned Sarah's locker because I felt bad...actually I thought it was hilarious, but even I know when to quit. If only I knew that when I was getting laid back in the day. Ha ha. I think I'm funny. I probably shouldn't touch on this topic, but Brett, David, and Andre are some shallow mother fuckers. Don't get me wrong, they are some of the coolest...um..."cats" (to quote a dork at my school) I know, but when they start talking about girls I just usually end up feeling...for lack of a better word, Heaven's Gate cultish. I kinda space out, and try to find a good reason to commit suicide. Never mind. The three of them have thier own little problems that just annoy me to no end. There's Andre, who looks at so much porn that it seems to have overrun his brain and all he can think about is getting head from a hot person. There's David, who is just obsessed with losing his virginity before he graduates. Little does he know that he's going at this from the wrong angle. He really needs to find some cool chick that he can really bond with, mixed with time before he gets laid. He thinks liking a girl is finding some stupid bimbo with absolutely NO PERSONALITY that shows her tits alot and is really, really hot. David is like me, he's averagely attractive, and is fun and easy to talk to (well, I hope I'm interesting at least). The people that are supposed to go out with hot whiney bitches like Andrea are equally stupid guys...like Matt Thorton. Let the hot people live in thier own little moron-bubbles, happily together due to the fact that they can count thier IQ on two hands. Did I mention that the smart hot people's brain cells are only rivaled by thier hat size? Maybe David is not as intelligent as I had originally hoped. He needs a cool girlfriend, not a stupid one, which he seems to be going for. (Stephani, you would be the only exception to the david rule I can think of. Ignore the fact that when he didn't get play from you, his mind changed. Cough Cough.) And Brett, I don't know what the fuck his deal is. I just eventually stopped thinking about it. Unlike David and Andre, he can actually get the stupid hot girls, but after about two years of breaking up with his girlfriend, he says he "Just isn't interested." Ugh...I just hate listening to them speak about "oh, I met this girl that never said anything that I gave a shit about, but damn...did you see the tits on her?" "oh hell yeah...she was fine." "Tap that ass." Whatever...I don't care.

5/8/02
So I have a band concert coming up, which is a joke if you ask me. We played all this other crap, and didn't get nearly enough time to practice the music we have now. The only people that can play any of it is Sarah and Cyrus (I don't have a clue how to spell his name.). I play clarinet by the way. I can see it now, all kinds of parents being forced into coming after hours of persuation, just to come out crying in shame and insult. Hee hee. On a different note...no pun intended, I was talking to Sarah the other day and she said she wanted to visit my website. Um..heh heh, as you can guess I shyed away from that one. I'm glad she doesn't realize that she was the essence of stress for a while and half these rants are about her. Also, if she only knew that the smell in her locker isn't the "ketchup in the holes" as she calls it, it's the mayo, milk, and sour cream rotting in the back right corner. It smells so bad, you'd think a catholic was hiding in there. Ahh...so amusing.

5/5/02
Yeah, my last couple of weeks have consisted of me having to fend off the ladies. Not exactly, but I at least got asked out. That was a huge complement because the girl is really awesome, pretty cute, and has a great sense of humor, consisting of making fun of her hick parent's funny speach impediments. Such as replacing deaf with death, and birth with birf. I mean c'mon, her mom has a mullet. That alone would be a reason to go go out with her. I dunno, I turned her down though, call me a wheelchair friend if you'd like. I don't even have any reason to not go out with her. I just kinda feel...sad. I guess that's all it is, I just sorta want to be alone for awhile. On a different note, nobody seems to get the Bush picture on my homepage. It was a picture of elmo, because they had a puppet talk to congress(probably because fuzzy animals is about as much as thier brains can process) about why schools need more money for thier music programs. So I put a pic of bush over it...so it says he's a 4-foot tall charmer. Never mind, I think it's hilarious, and thats all that matters I guess.

5/3/02
Allright, Have you heard about the dumb big glasses wearing ugly stupid retarded three-toed mongoliod circus midget eating camel booger smoking barf sauteeing cheese factory with irrelivant platypus choking on raw open wounds mom? Her mentally challenged son liked video games so...naturally he decided to commit suicide according to her. She is sueing sony because they helped her son be a little bit happier since he was socially non existent and was a non-productive member of society. What a stupid woman. He had to be born with her stupidity and died because of it. I hope she dies. Wait...school librarian coming...bye.

5/1/02
Today I was ditching my fourth hour class (study hall so it doesn't count). Now, yesterday somebody told me about how America is the fattest country she has ever seen. She's from The Ukraine, on the olimpic hurdles team, so she's seen alot. Anyways, someone else told me about how people in China are really slim so when fat (and usually stupid I'm guessing) people visit the natives, they point and laugh. So pretty much it's like a Chad fest. I mean...um...(ignore that), a funny picture came into my mind, relating to the ironies of life perfectly. What if there was a sad, lonely fat man who waited his whole life to accomplish his life's goal. His goal is to visit China. So he waits, his whole pathetic life filled with, um, fatness, and stuff, and finally goes. He gets there and they all just point and laugh. Hee. That makes me laugh, never mind.

4/24/02
I must say, The Scorpion King is one of the most entertaining movies I have seen in a long time. Not because it's good mind you...wow. It opens with an ugly guy tied up. "If you kill me, my brother will have your head." The rock comes in with Godsmack playing in the background, and kills about sixty people in two minutes. The rock says, "You are lucky we have the same mother." Followed by him slicing through about eighty more people. It's great. Imagine this...
Rock smiles.
Rock kills eighty-thousand blind retarded soldiers with big man boobs.
Cue Godsmack music.
Rock grunts, falls ten stories, then kills sixty-million more soldiers.
In comes scantly clad sorceress.
"If you face him, you will die."
Rock replies, "How accurate are your visions?"
"Like ripples in the water, they are clear, but they are not perfect."
Imput sarcasticly great acting here..."I make my own destiny."
Cue Rock boning sorceress like there is no tomorrow
Cut...it's a wrap!
The rock's "coreography" is pretty much him running at crowds of millions upon mllions of soldiers and hacking through all of them with a big axe and a bad haircut. Sort of like people attacking the popemobile. It ends with them hiring the rock, as an assasin, to kill everyone in an entire city. With ease he accomplishes his goal, and gets to listen to Godsmack music as an eternal punishment.

4/24/02
La dee da...I've been single for a while. It's been pretty cool I guess, even though nothing has happened. I'm in a really good mood and there isn't anything to complain about. EXCEPT MY JOB!!! It's getting so old...four days a week putting up with this old man that rapes little boys and treats everyone like a friggin' disgruntaled...child molesting circus shriner guy in a minifiretruck. Err...we got another new employee that never speaks...replacing an anorexic ho' that calls herself a model, after she got her ass kicked to the curb by her husband. Well, she did call me sexy once. That's not really a comlement coming from her, but when you are sad like me, anything helps. I'm sick of giving out 20,000 calorie meals to fat customers. I'm sick of picking up the phone and explaining to the customers for ten minutes why we don't sell advanced tickets. I'm sick of cleaning the windows over and over again only to make even more streaks. I'm sick of cleaning all kinds of shit up after I sell it to these pigs. I'm sick of having to argue with customers when I'm right and they are just stupid. I'm sick of Nathan all of a sudden acting anal since he got promoted just because he gives good head. And you know what? I'm sick of pulling myself there knowing that I'm gonna hate this day as much as the last. Laughing at ugly customers is only entertaining for, oh, nine months.

4/15/02...later
Err...I was having such a good day, then life had to take a piss on me, like usual. So after yesterday, taking Sarah out for icecream, and hearing her talking about how great Sam Erectile Dysfunction is, I was slightly annoyed. So, I wanted to know if she wanted to grab something to eat after school, but convienently she aviods the subject until school ends and it's too late to make other plans...thanks Sarah, I really appreciate it. Just like I appreciate it when you tell me stories about Sam "crybaby" Assbuster. I love when you tell me about how hot and funny he is. I especially love the one about how when you talked to him and he was leaning on the wall, you got weak in the knees. Thats soooo cute. FUUUUU@$%#%$##UUU@U$U@@@#$U#%%$CK HUMAN EMOTION!!! ~ahem~ I'm sick of liking her. Why can't I just get over her...eerrrrrr. I hate this. I don't like her...but I do. Know what I mean? Well, I guess she can have pretty boy then because I'm pretty much shutting off my sex drive at this point. I just want to look at girls and guys the same way from now on. And Sarah...I hope you have a good time with a guy that looks at himself in every reflection possible and tells himself how sexy he is. Yeah...because those guys are cool (officially the most sarcastic remark I've ever made, which is a feat.). God, she is sooooooooo dumb. She is way too good for him anyways, because she has this crazy little thing called a personality. Why would she want him you ask? Because he's hot... and THAT my friend, is all that matters in the world of stupidity. Ugh. Stupid everyone. I hate people. I hope he treats her like a piece of ass so I can laugh myself to sleep every night. ha...ha...Geez, the more I think about this, the more it pisses me off. Even a two year old knows that it is a universal rule that you aren't supposed to tell ex's about people you like...

4/15/02
Microsoft computers are soooo laughably bad. I love how you buy one, and soon afterwards, its outdated. About a year later the computer wont run any new games and putzes around on the internet like a wheelchair friend. I have a four year old iMac...and it runs ALL new games fairly well, maybe not on the highest resolution or anything...but very smooth, like yo' mommas sweet ass. I love that. Yet another proven point that microsoft is a money scam. The realization that me and the other apple buyers are not completely being ripped off and mocked behind our backs by trillion dollar corperations, makes me feel like I'm better than everyone else. Well...a lot of thing make me feel like that, I just don't voice it, because for once in my life I can admit that plenty of people are better than me. Kind of like Alyssa Lubet, or Kiernan Willit, or Ben Levenger.

4/8/02
yay...spring break is over, and I actually don't have a headache! Only a matter of time before everything sucks again and my enjoyment of life goes into the crapper. So...I'm going to go writhe in my agony because of the knowledge that I'll feel like garbage again in a couple of days.

3/29/02
Arrg.. I just got a migraine. You know what? Fuck them. Why does a person's brain send out those damn little brainwaves that cause your brain to hurt like a muther? Ha ha God...you haven't won yet! AHAHA. You think these pathetic migraines are gonna make me stop making fun of Catholics? HA. You are the one that sat back and watched your fake priests touch little kids! Stop this torment please, because I'm sick of getting headaches. Why can't I just stay up till seven in the morning and sleep with a bunch of people in extremely close quarters topped with 5 hours of sleep, without you give me a lousy headache? Errr...and to top it off, you make sure that none of my friends know shiat-su. Migraines are deathcatalists sent down from heaven to torchure people that god doesn't especially like.

3/26/02
What's wrong with people these days. Always, someone is crying about how dere feewing wur huwt. Waaa. Everyone is so whiney and brainwashed into thinking certain things are ok to say and other things are wrong to say. Give me a break. Why is it when I use retarded in a normal conversation it's all of a sudden all offensive and shit. There are so many more offensive things than retarded that I've put up with throughout my life. And frankly, alot of terms that are commonly used are technicly offensive. Like harassment, is pronounced in an "offensive" way. The planet uranis could make inmates cry. My personal favorite being the word nigger. I'm offended by the overusage of it, but I don't act on it, it's just a word. So friends, stop saying things about my choice of genious words

3/21/02
Oh, by the way, I'm never wrong.

3/21/02
MTV is the devil. Wanna know why? If you are easily offended avert your eyes. I started thinking about this the other day and I looked into it a little bit. But if you ask me the government has something to do with MTV. I always wonder why African American people are doing so bad in society overall. They claim it's because they were segrigated agianst. That is a solid load of crap, every race has been segrigated against. Look at Jews for example, every frickin bad thing possible has happened to them at some point, but overall, they are making lots of money and doing good in society. It's because MTV tells black people that they are supposed to be "thugs" and dress like morons. It tells them that how they should be, by people like Ja' shit Rule, and that they should live hard lives on the streets and all that garbage. This is just because our country is based on capitalism and we need to keep blacks as a lower class for our capitalist society to work. It has nothing to do with minority being lazy or anything, it is just because they are told not to try hard or fit in as a productive member of society. Otherwise, we wouldn't have anyone to work at McDonald's anymore. Youi wanna know what welfare is? A reason for these lower classes not to leave and go to a better country that wouldn't treat them like shit. Please everyone, stop being warped by all this media/pop-culture ass-shit. Because it's garbage. Sorry, I love all races, I just don't like groups of stupid people. D'nt think I'm racist, just predudice.

3/21/02
Dude, the Highland Theatre is scum. Not so much the theatre itself, but the s@$$ management there. There are about five employees there that have been working there for 10 months or more, all qualified to be promoted to assistant manager, so who does he pick? He chooses Nathan, who's been working for two months, and it's pretty much just because the manager can push him around and feel superior, and he tries to keep it under wraps, bastard. Mr. ass or whatever my manager's name is can suck one, I'm sick of all the shit I put up with there and I'm out looking for another job that will pay me more that $2.00 an hour or whatever it is I make there. Errr.

3/20/02
I guess the high point of this week would be my experience in study hall. I'm in it with one Asian guy, and one other white guy, and everyone else is black, who pretty much surround me and scream realy loud in my ears to people on mars by the sound of it, anyways, we were watching Maury on TV. I kept laughing histerically at all the stupid girls, to the point of crying. One girl said, "The white kid's going crazy!" So we just sat around and laughed at "The crazy white kid." Yay.

2/25/02
So I was at lunch in school, just eating a harmless apple, when my buddy David said something really dumb, like usual. I laughed and blew apple chunks into my nose. So I laughed more, then sucked in, what happened though was that I started choking on flemy apple, and hacked it out onto the lunch table. Goo everywhere. Yay. When I tried to blow the rest out, it broke through the tissue and sprayed all over the table. Good times. Every night I thank the higher forces for letting me have friends.

3/20/02
Yeah, I haven't ranted in a while. Probably because I've been too buisy hating everything. I find myself more predudiced to society in general every single day. I walk down the hallways at school and I want to lop off my penis (brain). I'm so sick of moronic people. I was behind this kid that siad something to himself about some big dog or something, than moved his hands in a weird motion. WHY??? Why are poeple so DUMB??? You know how they say ignorence is bliss, well, maybe I'll just give myself a labotomy one of these days so I can be soooo senile that I won't even notice all the problems of our crap system. Uggh, some guy just yelled shuddub pung (loosely translated: Shut up, punk) Please, put me out of my misery. One of these days I tell ya, I'm gonna grow giant muscles and be super ginormous, and mean and scary, then I'm gonna rid the world of stupid people with a anti-retard spork. Damn three-toed mongoloids who can't speak english.

3/8/02
I just don't get relationships. All they do is piss people off and make good friends hate eachother. What a crock! I wasted all this money on my girlfriend for valencraps day, and I try to be all nice with my interesting...humor and all. What did I get in returm? I'm still trying to come up with a positive answer. C'mon, we've been going out three months after being friends FOREVER and now she just kinda blows me off all of a sudden, constantly. Life sucks sometimes. I mean, I enjoy making fun of everything and saying puns, but there are so many things I can't figure out. I know I could just say fuck it, but, aww shiyat, what's the use? I dunno, all hope isn't lost yet, but I don't like things that I don't care about but can't help caring about even though it doesn't matter. Whew. Why do we all act like drones that are just obsessed about getting into eachother's pants in the long run? That's all we are, pathetic, stupid, whiney, biological robots that have no other purpose than to make more of our stupid kind that can wreck the planet and kill animals that are actually living in harmony with the enivironment. Damn it. Why do we even get attached to people when we all know that people are earthly disgraces that will stab you in the back, or use the more subtle approach of poisoning you in your sleep. Sometimes people act like they wanna go all out and lop off your balls, which, at this point doesn't sound too bad. Actually, you can sell your balls on e-bay for a grip of cash (around a million dollars!). Arrg, more cinical updates coming soon.

3/8/02
Ahh. How dumb life can be sometimes. Despite how much I laughed at the last entry, I'm a little bit irritated still though, although my day was fun. Lets see...I didn't talk to Sarah before homeroom, that was fun, then, in first hour, I played tetris and writhed in my agony. Instead of talking to Sarah in second hour, I stared at a snare drum for around 45 minutes without moving. Third hour: Made sarcastic comments to the girl next to me. Soon after, I went to study hall and looked at the dimmest light for about 20 minutes. Somehow I managed to drone out the millions of high pitched screams of derogitory terms such as nigger, and bitch. Then a test, then another hour of semi-zoning out. Did I meet her after school. Of course not. When I sat alone in second hour, almost every one of my "friends" asked me to come sit with them, or asked me what was wrong. You'd think Sarah might care somewhat that I wasn't exactly being myself. But nooo, I guess that's asking too much.

3/7/02 12:12AM
Yeah, fuck it. After I whined a while, I felt quite a bit better. And after I reread that weird crap I wrote below, it made me happy knowing that I should really get (scratch that) I really need help. Ahh, how enjoyable life is...doing absolutely nothing productive. Screwing around. Attempting to make music. Making fun of stuff. Sitting around in school dozing off and thinking about sexual "adventures". Sleeping. Pooping. Eating. Eating poop. Ignoring that last comment. Making fun of really ugly people. Laughing at people who can't speak english. Complaining about Bill Gates. Playing video games. Ignoring your girlfriend back. Watching movies. Watching movies that aren't supposed to be funny but really are with a person as weird as you. Simple pleasures, such as twiddling fingers, and staring at pretty colors. Making fun of people that think they are cool. Laughing at things that aren't funny. Peeing. Laughing at people who are sad. Staring at things. Making sexual references about everything. Saying dumb things. Ripping ass on animals. Mocking teachers. Complaining about how much MTV sucks. Ditching school. Laughing at white people trying to look cool in front of black people. Making sarcastic comments about how sexy ugly people are. Writing down quotes made by seemingly retarded people. Being offensive. Being trifling. Being difficult. Being. Tipping cows. Laughing at jello. Pionting and laughing at people in costumes. Peeing on that crappy chinese restaraunt across from Ramsey. Listening to Wesley Willis. Setting priorities completely wrong. Breathing like you have lung cancer. Laughing. Living. Being happy. Responding to honest questions like a smart ass. Popping zits. Laughing at people with acne. Mocking feminists. The realization every year of what a dork you were the previous year. Cracking up your own jokes, like I am now. Making fun of bad parents. Sitting up late all night knowing that you are the only person that doesn't appreciate sleep. Laughing manaicly at all of life's ironies. Being mean to people less fortunate than you. Polluting because you know this world is already Fucked up. Smelling your armpit in the morning. Appreciating the fact that despite your...oddness, you still have friends. Ending every sentence with the person's name you are talking to. Laughing at dead things. Mocking religion. Smiling waaaay too much. Joking around with good friends...at another friend's expense. Laughing histerically at poop jokes. Looking at librarians and realizing you are better than them. Cracking up at cross-eyed people. Saying womb. Complaining about the fact that someone was dumb enough to make the word womb. Dozing and thinking of funny things. Making it obvious in school that you aren't listening. Making cookies. And best of all...the realization that you will be abled to have kids of your own that you can warp at an early age. Wow, I don't think I've felt this happy in my life...seriously. Dude, screw Sarah, this has made my month.

3/7/02 11:00PM
Um...a word of warning...you tell Sarah this is here and there is going to be more death than Pearl Harbor. I'm pretty much positive that she doesn't ever read this, probably because it makes her sad that she's going out with me. Err...I don't even know why I'm rambling, but for some reason, writing on here relaxes me more than anything you can stea...I mean borrow from a pharmacy. Continuing...I don't know what it is, maybe I smell, maybe I'm annoying and cinical or something, but she keeps avoiding me, and she never wants to hang out anymore...ever. It's really depressing. I dunno, like usual, instead of listening in school, I've been thinking about it. I could be optimistic and say she's too buisy, or she's still not feeling well...
shyeay right OK-I'm Chad remember? I'm never optimistic-What the hell were you thinking? Pathetic Bastard... anyways, I'm actually pretty down. That usually doesn't happen. ~ugh~ Maybe she doesn't like it when I pee my pants whenever we're about to kiss, or maybe she doesn't like when I hit on fat, bald lesbians that have obviously been forced to watch too many tai-bo videos. Or maybe it's the fact that I constantly call Ms. Cleo to "work my magic." Possibly does it bother her that I fold my eyelids back, kick my legs up and down, while making humping gestures at inanimate objects such as pillows, or cheese curd stands?

3/5/02
Geocities has just e-mailed me that I have to start paying to have my "free" website. Why? Because they said so. And thats how this crappy country works, you can't just have a flippin web site to ramble on, or make fun of teachers, or whine like like a redheaded stepchild in a nursing home, or ANYTHING! These bastards expect me to pay? Ha, I potty at them! Ha! I'll just go find a good place to start, like...um...I'll figure something out.

2/28/02
Windows, is the worst operating system ever, next to DOS. If the crappy, uncomfortable mouse vibrated everytime Windows sucked, girls would never leave thier rooms again. Sometimes I wonder if windows was programed by a blind mental child from Albania that tried to molest his sister's contraband seal blubber sandwhich, that had never heard of a computer before, while covered in fire ants fighting with bees after getting a labotomy and losing his hands in a mating ritual.

2/27/02
This kid in Highland the other day. I was at half-price books and some stupid kid and his retarded friend were talking thier improper english crap, consisting of a vocabulary of about 6 words, white-kid, doo, my-nizzi, nigga, fuck, shit, and a series of grunts and gurgly noises. Then, he walked up to me and make some noise that he thought was hilarious. Just because I'm on a higher scale on the evolutionary chain doesn't mean he should act like some mental patient.

2/22/02
Batteries, man I hate the whole dumb concept of batteries. err... I know all these jerks at sony and phillips and whatever can make walkmans that don't need batteries. We can go to the moon, we have elctrical cars, we can blow up the earth at the push of a button, c'mon. They can make no-battery walkmans but wont because then we wouldn't have to give them even more money for stupid batteries.

2/16/02
I dislike geocities. They always seem to crap up a site by putting stupid pop-ups everywhere, and it gets REALLY annoying.

2/15/02
Today I would like to bitch about Ron Howard. I recently saw "A Beautiful Mind," which is an extremeley good movie I must say, but then it said, directed by Ron Howard and I cringed in pain. He is so stupid, and so...happy daysish. errr. And he's ugly. C'mon, he directed Willow, one of my most hated movies. And he wrecked "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."

2/14/02
Valentines day is really expensive. Errr... fun, but, I hate the color pink and... I'll shut up now.

2/10/02
I hate vegitarians. They are some of the most retarded people on the earth. Ok, if a person is a vegitarian because they don't like the treatment of animals, that's cool, but girls who do it to lose weight...die.