September 22, 2001

It seems so long ago since I came back from Spain - two weeks of freelance work on a women's web site and a horrible chest infection haven't helped. The work wasn't the most gripping and the days dragged by while the illness laid me so low I could barely eat or go out to meet anyone.

Then we had all the hideousness of the terror attacks in the US - and I don't think I'll ever forget the sight of the plane ploughing into the Twin Towers in New York and both buildings crumbling. The consequences could be huge and it's all rather worrying. A war on terrorism needs to be fought but we need to be very careful how it's done and the world has to be careful that it doesn't end up fighting all muslims.

The other thing is, here in Europe we've had to face terrorism for decades but it's only now when the US gets attacked that things start happening. What does that say about the world and the US in particular?

Other than that, I celebrated my mum's 60th birthday, met up with American Michael after his return from the US, had a drink with Stu and last night celebrated Brian's birthday with a trip to see the hilarious Victoria Wood at the Royal Albert Hall. Jamie paid for a great night out so much thanks to him!

September 8, 2001

And here I am refreshed from my holiday in Sitges, Spain - and with a stinking cold as a reminder! Fortunately it only came on at the every end of the trip or I would've been really pissed off.

Anyway, it was a lovely nine days spent mainly on the beach soaking up the sun. The resort was quite big but very attractive, including a wonderful old town with narrow streets and centuries-old buildings. The apartment was excellent too, spacious and clean with a fab pool.

As well as the cold, I came back with a good tan but it was a constant struggle against sunburn out there! In the evenings, me, Jamie, Brian and Thorsten ate out, drank too much and danced a fair bit - with the Bongo Song being the record of the trip! Know it?

During the week I paid a trip to Barcelona but was rather disappointed. Not as fab as people have made out. Shame. Perhaps I needed to spend more time there to fully appreciate it.

I missed Craig but he was here on my return, although suffering from a nasty migraine. Now I have two weeks of freelance work to do. Then we're off to Crete!

August 22, 2001

So I am just a day or two away from unemployment and the redundancy money has started to dribble into my bank, meaning I can finally go and do some shopping ready for the holiday to Spain next Monday. Can't wait now! I'm also busy trying to book another holiday to Crete for the end of September with Craig - so it's all sun and sea at the moment.

How do I feel about leaving work? Well I've got used to it after all these months of knowing the axe would fall but there is, of course, uncertainty cos the money won't last forever. Still, fingers crossed for the future!

I do have a couple of weeks freelance work ready for the period between my holidays so that cash will come in handy and hopefully I will get some similar work while I'm looking for something more permanent.

All rather quiet on the social front but that's no bad thing. Went to see the new version of Planet of the Apes with Craig and was very disappointed - a good film gutted. Typical Hollywood.

August 11, 2001

A quiet couple of weeks - partly because Craig has been working a lot and two of my friends have disappeared for a bit. Stuart is on holiday in Spain and Michael has gone back to San Francisco for the summer.

I made up for it with John on Monday - we hit the town big style and got rather drunk. But the rest of the last week I've been laying off the drink and doing some jogging in a bid to get in shape for my holiday on the 26th. That comes just a few days after I supposedly finish work for good.

Other than that I've been busy working on web sites of my own, getting wet in a more typical British summer, watching a lot of James Bond movies and reading an absolutely wonderful biography of Virginia Woolf. The aim has been to avoid spending too much!

Tomorrow I will be remembering my brother Michael, who died in January. He would have been 31 on August 12. RIP.

Included here are some recent pix of me with mates and my little nieces!

July 30, 2001

It's been a while - it's been too hot to sit and write anything! The sweltering heat is causing havoc with me rashes but it's better than having rain and the like.

Not too much to report since last time. I'm still at work but the end is in sight now as the company has been sold and so we're in handover mode now. Need the redundancy money too for the Spanish holiday at the end of August.

Cousin Mark has been down with his family so I saw them a couple of times along with my lovely baby nieces - they are really fun now that they're developing personalities. Also caught up with the rest of the family while down visiting.

Things have been a bit rocky with Craig but hopefully we are through that now. It's not been the best of time for us with his job problems, my frustration with work and so on. This is why I need to get out and get a new purpose in life! At the moment all I do is go out and drink too much cos I'm so bored during the day - and that's not a good route to go down.

I've also launched a new web site reflecting my anger at the decision of the IOC to give Beijing the Olympics. Hope you will visit Boycott Beijing 2008!

July 7, 2001

(The pic show me, flatmate John and Craig having a facemask).

Phew, what a scorcher - as the tabloids like to say. Yes, the weather has been ridiculously hot and sunny so, of course, I go down with the usual array of heat rashes and gawd knows what. Charming! I, therefore, have been going to work without me knickers on, which is OK until you realise you're flying low.

Anyway, last weekend was Pride - or Mardi Gras as they call it these days. The whole weekend degenerated into a drunken mess, but no suprise there. Me and my friends watched the march in town and then went on to Finsbury Park, where we wandered around buying expensive booze and watching the world go by. Not a bad day but not the best one I've ever been to. Sunday I went out in town with American Michael and had too much to drink again.

This week I've been trying to take it easy - having some quiet nights in with my new DVD player (hurrah!).

Work is dum. Thought I was finishing this week but they've asked me to stay on a few more weeks to cover for someone on holiday. Oh well, at least I still get paid - even if I have nothing to do and the days drag on pointlessly.

June 29, 2001

Bugger me, me liver must be rotten. Had a few heavy days and nights of late in Soho and locally, which is all quite fun. Always good to meet up with friends and Paul has had his Canadian mate over so we've been showing him the places to be. I'm gonna have a quiet night tonight cos tomorrow is our Pride or Mardi Gras as they insist on calling it.

Off on the march with Jamie, Brian, Stu and co and then on the festival on grotty Finsbury Park. Just hope the weather is good cos last year it was awful. Signs are good - and we have been having spectacular sunshine and warm weather lately.

Craig has been around a lot this week cos he is moving house - to my flatmate's other property in Streatham. Went round there yesterday to help and got dragged into doing some gardening in the jungle that is the back yard. Stiff as a board today from all that exertion!

June 14, 2001

After my fun week in Amsterdam, everything's been a bit quiet. I went back to work and was told I may be redundant at the end of this month - so unemployment beckons. On the other hand, I've heard that line so many times lately that I'm not counting any chicken type things.

Rather short of dosh lately, thanks to Holland, so I've been fighting shy of going out. The big news, though, was the general election. I went round to Jamie and Brian's to watch it and Labour was returned with a massive landslide so that was cause for us to crack open the Champagne. They did a lot better than expected and I'm hoping they will have the courage to be a lot more radical this time.

For a once left wing party, they are far too conservative for my liking but a much better bet than the Tories. I think I would have emigrated if they had come in...

Been out for drinks with Michael and some other friends. Spent the weekend with Craig and generally been lazy. And what's wrong with that!

June 3, 2001

I've just got back from a week in the Netherlands with Craig, staying with a great friend of his - Sabina - and her boyfriend in Amsterdam. It made a real change being away from London and, at least for the first half of the week, we had great weather. I even did a bit of rollerblading in the sun.

I can't say it was particularly cultural, apart from a canal cruise round the sites. Instead, we relaxed, met up with people, had beers, did some shopping and went clubbing with Sabina. By the end of it we were both exhausted! Anyway, Sabina was a fab host and a wonderful person and it was nice to see the city again. Amsterdam - and the Dutch - are worth visiting.

Craig celebrated his 30th on the Friday and a day later it was old flatmate Pete's 30th too so I went out for a bit last night to celebrate that.

In the dull word, still no news on the job. And I've had an ear infection and a cold. Yuk.

May 9, 2001

Spring has finally arrived - we've been having some really nice weather lately and it looks set to continue for a bit! We had a long weekend thanks to a public holiday and spent most of it with Craig.

Met up with Kate and Emma and the gang too for a few drinks and then on Sunday went out for something to eat with Jamie and Brian, who I'm going to Spain with in the summer. Apart from that, we didn't do much. I really should pull myself together and get around to seeing more of this fine city and going to the cinema again. I can't remember the last time I did that.

No news on the work front. Just when I thought it was all over, it's back to the waiting game again. It's all getting quite ridiculous, especially as I can't wait to get my hands on the redundancy money - mainly to pay off the credit cards!

The picture shows me and friends at Jamie and Brian's recent Fantasy Eurovision party...

April 28, 2001

Sounds like it's all over at work. I should be made redundant in the next week or two. And it's all rather worrying. I went out for drinks with a load of workmates on Thursday evening and it sounds like the job market is really flat - there's just nothing much out there at the moment. And the thought of looking for a new job is totally depressing.

On a lighter note, Jamie held his annual Fantasy Eurovision Song Contest party last Saturday night. All great fun as usual - fab production, loads to drink, dancing and wotnot. I represented France with a truly dreadful song but to my surprise I came fourth! Talk about a shocker. Brian won with the Estonian entry (and that is not some form of new sex act).

I was hoping Craig could attend the event but we both had a cold and his was a lot worse than mine, plus he has been working so much lately so he was well and truly washed out.

Good news on the horizon! I have booked for us to go to the Netherlands in May. And Jamie has booked for four of us to go out to Spain in the summer. So holidays loom!

April 17, 2001

Well, we have just had our four-day Easter break - and it was nice to have such a long time off work! I spent some of it with Craig - and we went to the British Museum on Monday with his mum and cousin. Shocking - it's the first time I've ever been there. On Sunday I went down to mum's to see the family and my gorgeous nieces. The main thing was to scatter my brother Michael's ashes at a place in Sussex near where he used to walk the dog and get some peace.

No news at work. There are fewer of us there now than ever and I have no idea how much longer I am gonna be stuck there. I just go in, do what I have to and go home again.

Been out a few times with friends like American Michael, Jamie and Brian and Pete. The latter - an old flatmate - shocked me on Sunday by announcing he is gonna get married! I nearly fell over! Pete???! Oh well, good luck to him!

March 31, 2001

Work drags me down. We've found out that the vast majority of people are being made redundant. There may or may not be a need to keep me on for a few months more but I am in at the moment with a skeleton staff. All the fun has gone out of it and I have no motivation. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of redundancy money, but I don't know how much it will be.

I've met up a few times with the work gang and we've all got quite wrecked - in fact I am probably drinking a bit too much through this crisis. I've also been spending a lot of time with Craig, who I may go to Sweden with. Also seen Kate and Emma, American Michael and a few others for libations.

Went down to see the family last weekend for the day. Cousin Mark and family were down, which was nice, and I saw a lot of my two baby nieces Rebecca and Catherine. Also met up with Andy and Nev to discuss the web site I am gonna do for them.

March 18, 2001

Just when you think things are crap, along comes more shit. We were called in to a meeting at work on Thursday morning and told the company was shutting most of its web sites and that we were all likely to be made redundant. We don't know who is going or staying but the vast majority of us will be out of a job and we just have to wait at home before we find out.

I cannot describe the shock, the feelings of hopelessness. All that work we did last year for nothing. It's a real kick in the teeth and just makes you wanna cry. I can't bear the thought of having to look for a new job, partly cos the team I worked with were so fab and I can't imagine finding a group so wonderful again.

After packing our things and leaving, we all went down the pub and got slaughtered.

That rather overshadows everything really. Although things are progressing really well with Craig right now, which is nice. The one bright spot really.

March 1, 2001

Things plod on... Been working fairly hard and meeting good friends for drinks. I think it's time I had a week or two off work actually. Met up with Australian Craig (or Freakywierd as he's known in some circles) and had some lovely times - we even went to the National Gallery in London making it my first time there.

I've been rather neglecting the gym because of all the socialising but went today as I am back on earlies for a few days so could squeeze an hour or two in this afternoon.

I became an uncle again on Friday night! My brother Andrew and his wife Lisa had a baby girl - so that's two in the family now!

February 18, 2001

Not much of a fortnight to think about... getting back to normal in life and work. I have spent the last week doing the early shift, which was absolutely hideous. Left me feeling really drained.

Went to a birthday do last night in an awful restaurant in Clapham - Mexican place - where the food was equally as dire. So busy you couldn't talk to anyone, which was a shame cos there were plenty of people I wanted to natter to - like the crowd from last summer's Italian adventures.

I'm not feeling remotely cheerful right now and am in one of my hate-being-single moods.

February 5, 2001

Well the last few weeks have been among the most awful of all. It began the week before last when I got a call saying my little brother, Michael, had gone missing and that all his clothes had been found in woods near where he was living. The next day, I got the call I expected - the police had found his body.

As you can imagine, the trauma was awful. Family devastated. Obviously spent quite a bit of time down there with them trying to deal with it. The funeral was on Friday and a terribly emotional experience it was too.

Michael had had a lot of problems in his life and the only good thing that comes out of it is that he can now be at peace but we were stunned to find that he actually died of a heart attack. All quite bizarre and inexplicable.

I am glad it's over. At least we can now move on. But we will never forget him...

January 21, 2001

Well surprise, surprise. I've actually been taking some much-needed time off work lately. I've just had a week off and before that I managed to squeeze in some days too. Not that I had anything planned - just taking it easy, sleeping and trying to stay warm in our freezing weather!

It's been good just going to the gym, meeting friends, watching videos and reading. Did some shopping and bought a few new frocks (well not quite frocks) in the sales.

I met up with Jamie and Brian for the former's birthday in the City on Thursday - nice to see them after their long trip to Oz. My mate Pete is back from Thailand but yet to set eyes on him and James got back from the sub-continent and have seen him a few nice times too. Emma had her birthday too! It's all birthdays at the moment.

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