Scene 3
In Which The Treachery Is Revealed
Date: Sunday July 14th 2002
Time: 10.57 AM
Dr Abortion: Hold on a minute. I need to get some things.
Dr Abortion heads back into his locker room, and picks up his medical bag.
Dr Abortion: Let's see ... Thorazine tranquillisers, morphine, roids, vacuum aspiration kit, map, stun gun, scalpel, coathangers ... yep, I'm set.
Proto: I have my shovel. Look.
Proto shows Dr Abortion his shovel.
Dr Abortion: Yes, very nice. Let's go, homo.
Proto: Wanna try the canteen first?
Dr Abortion: Sure.
So they head for the TSOB Arena canteen ...
Cazz: Help you, gentlemen? Coffee? Biscuits? Today's special is ... what is today's special, Limit?
The Limit: Fried shrimp.
Cazz: Fried shrimp. Deeee-lish.
Proto: We don't want any damn shrimp. We're looking for a bunch of midgets. One of them swears a lot, um ... oh, and another one has AIDS.
Cazz: I see a lot of things ... of course, my memory ain't what it used to be.
Dr Abortion: Would a of George Washington help your memory?
Cazz: Maybe.
Dr Abortion hands over a picture of George Washington. Not money. Just a picture of George Washington. It's a nice picture. Dr A stole it from the TSOB Arena lobby. Cazz tucks it in his apron.
Cazz: Yeah, I saw your midgets. They were here not an hour ago. Then they left. Said something about getting out of here.
Dr Abortion: Parking lot?
Proto: Parking lot. Thanks, Cazz. Here, have a lollipop.
Proto gives Cazz a lolly.
Proto: Enjoy!
Cazz (sucking on his syphilis lollipop): Mmm. Thanks!
Prototype and Dr Abortion head for the parking lot ...
Proto: Well, they're not here.
The parking lot is deserted.
Dr Abortion: No, but neither is my car. The little bastards.
Proto: You think they stole it?
Dr Abortion: I know they did. Hey, what's that?
Held down by a brick, in the spot where Dr Abortion's car was, is a note:
Dear bastards: We have gone. Gone forever. Don't try and follow us, because you won't find us. It serves you both right, for being pricks. Love, Roe, Wade, and Li'l Proto. Dr Abortion: I'm going to kill them for this.
Proto: You were going to kill them anyway.
Dr Abortion: Well, this is another reason. I liked that car.
Proto: We can take my motorcar.
Dr Abortion: Hahaha. 'Motorcar'. Hahaha. You Limey bitch.
Proto: Shut up, and let's go.
Proto unlocks his rusty, lime green Buick.
Dr Abortion: This car sucks.
Proto: Quiet, you. Where do we go?
Dr Abortion: Hmmm. Maybe they went to see their new son.
Proto: Son?
Dr Abortion: It's a long story.
Proto: So we go where?
Dr Abortion: The Midtown Hospital. And step on it.
Spluttering, and with a loud series of backfires, the Buick rumbles down the road ...
Location: The TSOB Arena, Toronto