Scene 2
The Unravelling Of The Plot
Date: Sunday July 14th 2002
Time: 10.06 AM
Proto: Frigging EC bitches ... nobody screws me like that. Nobody. I had that cage match won, and they screwed me. Dr Abortion cheated. And the Rap-Off was a terrible judging decision. I owned that.
In fact, Proto is way more annoyed than he has any right to be. It is still only 2-2 in the series. Prototype kicks a chair across the room, and curses as his badly damaged leg bears the brunt of the impact.
Proto: S***! And if I get my hands on Li'l Proto and his two new friends ... they'll die horribly. I swear to God. I'm really pissed off at them.
It's the morning after the night before, and Dr Abortion is sitting in his temporary locker room, a baleful look on his face. Wincing, he touches the bruises left on his face by a vengeful Prototype.
Dr Abortion: I can't believe those two little cretins boinked my woman. Nobody screws me like that. So what if I'm as impotent as a government mule? At least I beat Proto, although the syphilis is really starting to scratch.
Dr Abortion boots a chair across the room, and moans as his back spasms.
Dr Abortion: Damnit! If I find those two traitorous little son's of bitches, I'll end their lives. I'm so pissed off at them.
Wade: Do you think this is a good idea?
Li'l Proto: If we don't run, they'll f***ing kill all three of us. You know how f***ed off they are at us. Proto thinks we cost him the f***ing match, and Dr A is f***ing pissed at you and Roe for some f***ing reason or other.
Roe: Hey, Ms Contraceptive seduced us. It's not our fault she's a dirty hoe.
Wade: Well, I guess we've got no other choice. We can start a new life. One where we aren't mocked for our size.
Roe: Yeah. But we don't have any money, or anything.
Li'l Proto: Nature will f***ing provide. C'mon, Wade. You're supposed to be f***ing good at this sort of f***ing stuff.
Wade is trying to break into Dr Abortion's car - a rather fetching 1989 Silver Ford Taurus Station Wagon. On the bumper is a sticker that reads "Employ The Handicapped - They're Fun To Watch"
Wade: Why? Just because I'm a brother, I know how to steal cars?
Li'l Proto: Yeah.
The door pops open.
Roe: He's got you there, Wade.
Wade: Quick, before one of them shows up.
Getting into the car, the three midgets quickly realise there's a problem.
Li'l Proto: How am I supposed to reach the f***ing pedals?
Roe: You steer, I'll worry about that. Wade, you can go and lie down. Now you've got AIDS, all the excitement might kill you.
Wade: Hey, that's not fair ... although I am kinda woozy.
Li'l Proto: F***ing hotwire it first.
Roe: No need.
Roe flips down the vanity mirror, and the spare keys fall out.
Roe: Are we learning yet?
Wade: Shut up. Damn Terminator freak.
Roe: I loved that film.
Li'l Proto: To the North! To freedom! To f***ing FREEDOM!
And away they drive.
Prototype is walking through the corridors of the TSOB arena.
Proto: Maybe they're in Dr Abortion's locker room. Then I can kill everyone in one fell swoop. Hahaha. Then I'll definitely be the Most Evil Man In Wrassle, cause my only competition will be dead! Hahaha.
Arriving outside Dr Abortion's locker room, Proto pulls out his trusty shovel, and kicks the door open.
Proto: NYYYAAAAARGH! Now you die!
Dr Abortion: You prick! You gave me syphilis. And you helped turn Roe and Wade against me.
Proto: No, you turned Li'l Proto against me. He threw the bell to you. Die! Die like the bitch you are!
Dr Abortion: Hey, where are all the midgets?
Proto: Who cares.
Proto charges at Dr Abortion, shovel poised for a killing blow. Dr Abortion throws his medical bag into Proto's face, knocking him down.
Dr Abortion: Goddamnit, hold on a second. I just had a diabolical idea.
Proto: Ugh ... What?
Dr Abortion: Well, you want to kill those three midgets, right?
Proto: Amongst others, yes.
Dr Abortion: And so do I.
Proto: So?
Dr Abortion: So, you stupid felchopheliac, we could hang around trying to kill each other, or we could go and kill those three traitorous little buttholes first. Then kill each other.
Proto: Why should I trust you?
Dr Abortion: You can't. Really, you can't. But this situation means we should work together just for the time being. United against a common foe.
Proto: Go on.
Dr Abortion: You know, kind of like how Megatron and Starscream hate each other, but have to work together against the Autobots.
Proto: Ohhhh.
Proto considers it.
Proto: I'm definitely Megatron, then. He was cool.
Dr Abortion: DAMNIT! Fine, I'll be Starscream.
Proto: Hahaha. Galvatron kills you in the movie. Loser.
Dr Abortion: Waitaminute. It doesn't matter. That was just an example, anyway.
Proto: You would say that. You're not the one who turns into a cool gun.
Dr Abortion: Bah. Let's go and find them. It won't take long.
More incorrect words were never spoken ...
Location: The TSOB Arena, Toronto