Evil vs Evil


A secondary surprise and more fightin' Proto
Dr Abortion crawls towards the metal pipe, wincing every time Proto kicks him.


/Burnt/: Dr A is going for his trusty pipe!


/Davros/: Damnit, I can't believe Proto gave us syphilis lollipops.


/Burnt/: Well, although I'm pleased Proto is evil again, which will get the ratings back ... now I remember why we slapped that iunjuction on him in the first place.


The Doc almost has the pipe ...


/Proto/: Oh no you don't!


Too late.


*Whammo!*


/Burnt/: Doc Abortion just whacked Proto across the knee with his pipe!


Proto goes down faster than Monica Lewinsky.


/Dr A/: Har har har. NOW who's laughing? Give me the syph, would you?


Dr A holds the pipe over his head.


Just to keep the suspense up, we go backstage again to Roe and Wade.







/Wade/: Did you see that? Proto's given everyone syphilis. Damn that's evil.


/Roe/: It's a good job we both had it already.


/Wade/: Yeah.


/Roe/: Hey, there's some of those cookies you told me about!


Just before Roe can cram a bunch of cookies in his mouth, Wade knocks them out of his hand.


/Roe/: HEY!


/Wade/: Look!


Alongside the tray of cookies is a piece of paper with a recipe written on it.


/Roe/: Whew. "AIDS cookies". I'm glad I never ate one of those! I don't think anyone ate the cookies.


/Wade/: *urp*


/Roe/: Oh, wait. You did, didn't you, Wade?


Enough. Back to the match.






/Burnt/: Dr A is gonna smash Proto's head in!


/Davros/: Yeah! Do it! That'll teach him!


As Dr A swings back, it catches on the scaffolding the workmen had just fortuitously put up.


/Dr A/: S***!


Proto kicks Dr A square in the nuts.


/Burnt/: Ouch. Well, that was pretty evil.


Proto Sucks Dr A

Davros: Well, if Dr. A really is keeping score� that shot to the nads by Prototype to the doc must have been worth some evil points.

Burnt: Yeah, and just as quickly as Dr. Abortion�s comeback started� it is Over.

Davros: Say, does this look like a soar on my mouth?

Burnt: Oh man� you need to have that checked out. And me� how am I going to go home and tell my lovely lady that I got syphilis from a man today?

Proto gives another kick down to the doc from DC, he�s about to add one more for good luck, but then stops as he sees something in the corner of his eyes.

/Proto/: Ooooo� How fortuitous of you to bring this!

Proto grabs the metal pipe out of the scaffolding, from whence it was stuck as the doc swung back.

Burnt: Proto has got the pipe again� is he going to smash the doc to bits?

Proto swings down and the doc jolts to the side� it just barely misses his shoulder.

/Proto/: Hehehe� and they don�t even know about AIDS cookies yet. Oh my�. HEY! Get the hell off my-

Burnt: Dr. A has grabbed onto Proto�s ankle� he�s trying to take him down from below� now Prototype, that evil bastard, is hitting Dr. Abortion in the back with that pipe� Oh the damage it could be doing to the spine!

Davros: I wouldn�t be too sure Burnt� both these guys in the ring here are spineless!

Burnt:

Davros: What? What�d I say?

Burnt: That was so lame. Anyway� Dr. A is taking a beating� but he�s crawling up the leg� and he swings� OH! A legdrag takes Prototype down and that pipe goes flying out of here!

Davros: And there it is� the last section of the cage� I think it�s finally being bolted in! The pipe is outside of the ring but they are in it!

Burnt: Right Davros. Now Proto and the Doc are surrounded by 4 sides of impenetrable, poorly constructed, loosely fastened, cheap-quality-metal, probably re-used aluminum, STEEL CAGE! There is no way that either man is getting out.

Davros: Yeah. Unless one of them is thrown into it� kind of hard.

Burnt: Mmhmm.

Dr. Abortion doesn�t let go of Proto�s leg as he�s down� he hooks on a leg grapevine and pulls mercilessly.

Burnt: And that is one of the first and few wrestling moves we�ve seen all match. Don�t count on too many clutches and hookups� these two are going to fight as dirty as dirty can get�

The doc suddenly lets out in a scream of pain as he bends the wrong way.

Burnt: What was that all about?! Proto didn�t do anything!

Davros: It must be that pipe to the back! The doc�s back may be seriously injured. All he can do is hope to fight the pain if he wants to be called the most evil man alive.

Burnt: And with the doc�s weakened state, Proto is able to set himself free. What other sorts of tricks does he have up his sleeve?


Hot, sweaty, one-on-one, all-man action. Proto

/Burnt/: The Doc looks to be in some pretty serious pain here.


/Davros/: But so is Proto! That leglock and the shot with a lead pipe earlier look to have really done some damage to the guy's knee.


Proto and Dr A both get to their feet. Dr Abortion limps across to where the Literati table was knocked over, and grabs something.


/Burnt/: Proto moves in ... Dr A threw something at him!


/Proto/: AAAAARRGHHH!


Proto reels back.


/Davros/: It was a letter tile from the literati game! It must have hit Proto right in the eye!


/Burnt/: I'm getting unconfirmed reports - they're now confirmed reports - that it was in fact an 'A'.


Dr Abortion picks up a bunch more tiles.


/Dr A/: Let's see now ...


Dr A flings tile after tile at Proto.


/Davros/: He's throwing thos tiles like little bullets!


/Burnt/: Wait, they seem to be falling in a certain pattern ...


The camera zooms in on the tiles ...


[A] [B] [O] [R] [T] [I] [O] [N]
[R] [U] [L] [E] [S]


/Dr A/: I rule.


/Burnt/: Dr A follows up that remarkable letter attack with a punch! And another! He whips Proto into the corner, and follows up with a clothesline! Proto is down!


/Davros/: Dr A is on the ascendancy here!


/Burnt/: He's really taking out his anger over getting humiliated in the Literati match earlier!


Dr A continues to lay the boots to Proto ...


You shouldn't have used Canadian steel ... Proto

/Davros/: Proto continues to take a pummelling from Dr Abortion, only with his boots.


/Burnt/: Hey, are those jackboots the Doc is wearing?


/Davros/: It wouldn't surprise me. Hey, look at that show of power from the Doc!


/Burnt/: Dr Abortion picks Proto up, and runs him into the cage!


As Proto sinks to the ground from the impact, the cage creaks worryingly ...


/Burnt/: Dr Abortion picks Proto up! He's going for it again!


/Davros/: He runs ... Proto's in trouble here!


*CRASH*


As Dr A rams Proto backwards into the side of the cage, they break a bunch of the shoddily manufactured bars, and fall to the outside.


/Burnt/: They've broken the cage! What an impact! Both men were hurt from that one, only Proto was probably hurt more.


Davros rolls his eyes. It's actually pretty hard to do for a guy who's half-Dalek.


/Davros/: I told you we shouldn't have used Canadian contractors to make the cage. "Will it hold?", I asked them, and they said "Heeeey, buddy, we know what we're talking aboot, sure it'll hold oot, guy!"


/Burnt/: Proto and Dr A both down outside ...


/Davros/ (grumbling): Crappy Canadian workmanship ... lousy good-for-nothing stupid Canuck halfwits ...


/Burnt/: I'm warning you. Damn my mouth itches. Can we get some calamime lotion out here?


And now... Outside of the Cage! Dr A

Burnt: And now both Dr. Abortion and Prototype are fighting outside of the ring!

Davros: Well� they may not be fighting so much, but they sure are out of the ring.

Dr. A: Ow� my freakin� back is killing me.

/Proto/: Oh� oh� you�re body is killing you? Look at this� I can�t even see in my right eye. That stupid Literati piece.

Dr. A: I hope you get conjunctivitis� bitch.

/Proto/: I don�t know what that is� but it can�t be worse than what I gave you� harhahar�

Dr. A: THAT�S IT!

Dr. A charges at Prototype and the two hook up.

Burnt: Well, I can�t speak for everyone here� but right now I hope Proto gets his effing neck broke.

Davros: Well, as long as it hasn�t gone tertiary on us, I think we�re okay.

Burnt: All I can say is I am very glad that none of us, and nobody else has been infected with anything worse.

Davros: And thank the Supreme Dalek for that!


Meanwhile� in Prototype�s Locker Room�

Roe: Man, I sure am hungry� lets see what�s in the fridge here�

Wade: NO! Are you a freaking idiot?! Remember?

Roe: Huh?

Wade: Syphilis Lollipops. AIDS Cookies.

Roe: Of course I remember.

Wade: Then stop looking through Proto�s stuff for things to eat!

Roe: Oh yeah. Riiiiight. Good advice.

Wade: Now quit bein� a biatch and do what we came here for!

Roe: I think I forgot what that was. And I think I�ve got a rash.

Wade: We�ve got to sabotage Proto�s room so that when he gets back after Dr. A beats him that he�ll be injured even worse�

Roe grabs the bucket and picks it up. Wade takes out the Doc�s instructions and reads them.

Wade: Okay. Take the bag of tacks and put them on Proto�s chair and sofa there.

Roe: Done.

Wade: Take the shattered glass and put it all over the floor of the shower.

Roe: Right. The shower� good thinking� It�s clear and will look like water droplets of water or something. He�ll step right on it.

Wade: Sure. Why not. Now take this gas can and this blow torch and� no� wait� that looks stupid and dangerous� and this broomstick thing� the instructions just say for us to stick this broomstick up our asses. That is not cool.

Roe: The Doc has a unique sense of humor. How do you think he�s doing?

Wade: Here� lets turn on the TV�
Burnt: OH! SUPLEX! Devastating! OH MY GOD!

Davros: Someone pull his head out of his �

Wade turns the TV off.

Wade: Doesn�t look like he�s doing so good. Ooo� here�s something� take the bucket of water� stop up the sink. Pour faucet water in the sink. Take the bucket of water and splash it around the counter and floor.

Roe: Uhhh� okay� next?

Wade: Take the toaster� plug it in� and tie this rope to the cord. Now lets tie the other end of the rope to the door.

Roe: Err� give me a minute� hmm� plug in� tie this to this� okay.

Wade: Now place the toaster leaning precariously on the side of the sink.

Roe: DONE!

Wade: Now whenever someone opens the door, the slack from the rope will cause the toaster to fall in and� BLAMMO! Electrical nightmare!

Roe: Great thinking! Now lets get out of this nightmare of a locker room. We need to have you tested for AIDS and-

Wade: NO YOU IDIOT! DON�T WALK OUT OF THE DOOR THAT WAY! DON�T PULL ON THE�

Roe opens the door� the space between the door and the toaster gets smaller� the rope gives a little� the toaster falls into the sink. It�s just like that game Mousetrap!

BZZZZWAP!!!!

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