Yes, once again, we're here with Prototype. Fast turning to a Chevalieresque spamathon, Proto makes his way to ringside. So his video plays again. Hurray for Proto's video!
Not what the EC expected? Proto
/Burnt/: We need to talk.
/Proto/: Yes, sir?
Burnt has just grabbed a hold of Proto's arm. You'd know this if you'd read the last flash.
/Burnt/: Come with me.
Burnt leads Prototype to an office, and sits him down.
/Proto/: Would you care for a wowwiepop?
/Burnt/: Well, okay. But then we're talking.
Burnt enjoys his lollipop, then pauses.
/Burnt/ (screaming): WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?
/Proto/: Sorry?
/Burnt/: Are you TRYING to ruin this company? Are you TRYING to ruin me?! You're lucky Icehawg isn't here, or he'd kick your ass through a wall!
/Proto/: I don't follow.
/Burnt/: This is supposed to be an Evil vs Evil match. You signed the contract. This match was promoted all across the world as a clash between the two most evil guys around. And you turn up acting like THIS?!
/Proto/: But it was your lawyers who told me I had to -
/Burnt/: I don't want to hear it! You will stop acting like a little [expletive deleted] -
Proto gasps at Burnt's shocking potty mouth.
/Burnt/: - and you will get back to being evil! Or you'll never wrassle again. You hear?
Burnt storms out, leaving Proto to his own devices.
/Proto/: I can't believe he shouted at me like that. What a mean guy.
/Dr A/: You know, this new surgical shirt makes my arms look so totally buff.
/Proto/: You're right. You're a good-looking guy.
/Dr A/: Why thank y- Proto?!
Whirling around from the mirror he was admiring himself in, the Physician on a Mission sees Prototype standing at the entrance to his locker room.
/Proto/: That's me! How are you? I hope your match with Barrister didn't wear you out.
/Dr A/: Why the heck didn't Roe and Wade tell me you were there?
/Wade/ (munching on a sweet strawberry lollipop: Sorry boss.
/Roe/ (also enjoying a lolly): Yeah, sorry.
Dr Abortion picks up a baseball bat, and prepares to smack Proto's face in.
/Dr A/: You think I won't? You showing up here just makes it possible for meto hospitalise you. Then I'd win. I don't care about cheating before a match. No, wait. I DO care about cheating. Cheating is very important to me.
The Doc takes a swing at Proto. Proto ducks.
/Proto/: Please! There's no need for all this violence! I only came to tell you that our scrabble match is in a little while, and wish you luck!
/Dr A/: I'm gonna whack you good!
Swinging again, Dr A connects with Proto's back as the nicest guy around runs for his life. All it does is spur Proto on out the door.
/Dr A/: I'd chase him ... but then I couldn't kick this puppy to death. Hahaha.
Dr A kicks a puppy to death.
Dr. Abortion wipes puppy out of his shoe.
Dr. A: Oh Goddamnit� this stuff never comes out. Just like gum!
Roe: Mmm� this wowwiepop is the greatest!
Wade: I�m glad Proto�s still good! It means that-
Dr. A: -IT MEANS that his fate is sealed. Midgets � FRONT AND CENTER!
The two hop up to attention. Dr. A himself would as well, but he�s already hopped up on quasi-legal substances for performance enhancement.
Dr. A: This is a plan� a schematic if you will, of Prototype�s locker room�
Roe: Yeah. So?
Dr. A: Sabotage is what I plan. Take this bucket of water� this toaster� this broomstick� these tacks� these bits of broken glass� this rope� this canister of gas� and this blowtorch� to Prototype�s room and set them up exactly as my plan says.
Wade: Yeah, but you just chased Proto outta here. How do we know he didn�t just go to his room already?
Dr. A: Hmm� good point� I guess there is only one time when you�ll know exactly where he is though. When he�s in the ring with me. Do it then. Sure� I won�t be able to destroy him for the match� but after I�ve humiliated him and crushed him� he�ll go back to his room in despair and find an even worse fate. Mwahahaha! I AM EVIL, BABY!
Roe: Or it will make for a great revenge in case you lose � huh?
Dr. A: �
Wade: WAIT! What if we don�t have enough time to set everything up while the match is going on.
Dr. A: Don�t worry. I�ll find a way to keep it going for a while.
Wade: I mean what if he beats you in like a minute.
Dr. A: �
� ALL RIGHT! Take this crap and get the hell out of my room!
Dr. A shoves the bucket full of junk into Wade, nearly knocking him over.
Roe: Okay boss� sabotage. We�ll wait for the match!
The two midgets waddle out.
Dr. A: *sigh*� what idiots. Of course I�m going to win.
He sneaks over to his bags and pulls out two thorazine-tranquilizer syringes, which he puts in his medical vest.
Dr. A: To the ring!!!
The Wrasslepalooza camera crews� which get around EVERYWHERE� catch Dr. Abortion strolling towards the general direction of the ring�
Dr. A: *evil whistle*
Anastasia: Wait! Dr. A� a minute please�
Dr. Abortion raises an eyebrow. God he hates interviews. But he figures he wants to insult Anastasia a little bit. So he�ll stick around.
Dr. A: How come Davros won�t do my interview, huh? He did Proto�s. I�m stuck with this piece of-
Anastasia: -I think Davros is exhausted from running back and forth really quick.
Halfway in-between the ring and interview area, Davros lay gasping for air.
Dr. A: That�s funny, because I thought Davros had wheels or something� Say� Anastasia� aren�t you that same ugly woman that said �Dr. Abortion� was one of the most offensive things that she�s ever heard. Yeah. I saw that on the forums.
Anastasia: Yes, well you are a sickening-
Dr. A: -But then we cleared it all up when I said that you were really a man. Hehehe� say� looking a little chubby there, fatty� Aren�t knocked up, are you?
Anastasia: How dare you� I�ll have you know that�
Dr. A: Don�t make me kick you in the stomach to find out, I am super evil, damnit! SUPER EVIL! Now give me that freakin� microphone�
He pulls his fisted right arm back signaling a punch, Anastasia drops the mic and skidaddles. Or however you spell it.
Dr. A picks upthe abandoned voice-amplifier-magical-talking-wand-thingamajig.
Dr. A: Hi there. This interview wasn�t going that well� so I just decided I�d do things myself, huh?
Dr. A: Now, Dr. Abortion� please explain to me why you are the greatest ever.
Dr. A: Oh please� you flatter me.
Dr. A: Nonsense. Your manliness runneth over.
Dr. A: You�re too kind. Too kind.
Dr. A: So how bad were you planning on kicking Prototype�s girlie, non-evil butt?
Dr. A: Somewhere around paralysis I was hoping for. But I�ll settle for massive internal bleeding.
Dr. A: Goddamn� how did you get to be so sexy?
Dr. A: Well, I really can�t help it, Dr. A. It�s just genetics, you know.
Dr. A: Interviewing yourself� is it �over?�
*does finger thingie*
Dr. A: No� but three-fourths of all reporters/slash/interviewers in the history of wrassle just made their reporter so they can interview themselves and hype their own character before becoming pathetically inactive. They need a better screening process.
Dr. A: Well� I know who�s fault that is. I�d tell her� but you just scared her off. Hahahaha�
Dr. A: Hahaha� oh, you kill me.
Dr. A: No, I kill babies. You see, this isn�t just time filler. It is a legitimate satire of reporters interviewing themselves. Meaningful social commentary. Now get to the ring, and whoop the heck out of Proto for me!
Dr. A: Thanks Dr. Abortion. You�ve always been the best� and that�s just not a pathetic attempt to stroke my own ego because of my enormous insecurity and self-doubt.
Dr. A: Of course not. Good luck.
Dr. Abortion throws the mic away and heads off camera�
FADE.