I Want to Fight
Javier Vazquez
Posted
April 11, 2005
As glad as I am to have baseball back, it’s been an extremely frustrating one as a Cardinals fan and a fantasy baseball owner. The Cardinals are off to a dismal 2-3 start (although that likely won’t have much bearing on their final record) and my very own Roundballs are sitting in the depths of 11th place.
Things just haven’t
gone quite as planned for the R-Balls so far in 2005. While I’ve had
some stellar performances (Josh Beckett, Luis Gonzalez) in the early going,
I’ve had more than my share of vomit-inducing moments as well. The first
came when Javier Vazquez took the mound in the Diamondbacks opener. Vazquez,
clearly just trying to fit in as a D-Back, surrendered seven earned runs in
less than two innings of work. His velocity just really isn’t there
like it used to be, and that takes away the effectiveness of his big, swooping
curveball. A few days later Vazquez would reprise his effort with another
disaster, giving up six earned in start number two.
Javier isn’t the only one to blame, however. Mets closer Braden Looper
has downright sucked, blowing a save on opening day by giving up three runs
in the ninth to the Reds. Then there’s Juan Pierre, who usually steals
somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 bases in April, but has only tried to
run once thus far and was caught. What about Yadier Molina and Omar Infante,
who haven’t been able to hit the ball out of the infield? Or Mark Teixeira,
who homered on opening day and has been lost ever since?
All of these heartbreaks aside, the rest of my team has given me some reason
for optimism. Josh Beckett hasn’t given up an earned run and sits at
2-0 after an eleven-strikeout shutout of the Washington Nationals. Apparently
Brad Wilkerson held himself back and didn’t hit for another cycle. Luis
Gonzalez is hitting over .400 and has a pair of homers. Vladimir Guerrero
has a couple of homers as well, and Mike Sweeney has (somehow) a stolen base.
Tony Womack has a couple of steals, and that’s all I ask from his terrible
self.
Perhaps the most frustrating incidents of this past week of baseball were
in what wasn’t attained. Kevin Millwood didn’t allow a run in
six innings against the White Sox, yet somehow didn’t record a win.
Bob Wickman blubbered onto the mound and promptly blew the entirety of a three
run lead in the ninth inning. Clearly White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen slipped
Wickman a $25 gift certificate to the Rib Crib in exchange for his meltdown.
The same day I got the pleasure of seeing Jason Marquis work six good innings
(only one run allowed) and get nothing for it because of some sort of miraculous
Andy Pettitte comeback. If I’d had to listen to the announcers discuss
how wonderful it was that Pettitte was back and dominating Cardinal hitters
for any longer, I would’ve gladly ripped my ears off and mailed them
to Al Hrabosky.
Everything really culminated in Zack Greinke’s 2005 debut. Greinke was
pitching fairly well, despite an array of pathetic Detroit Tiger bloop singles,
when Carlos Guillen took it upon himself to line a baseball off the young
pitcher’s arm. Wonderful. Although Greinke appears to be okay, it can’t
be a good omen for him to have already been pelted by a baseball. It makes
me wonder why it couldn’t have been Vazquez who was struck with a line
drive. After all, so far he deserves it.
All I can do now is hope for a much better second week (and for that matter,
rest of the season). The way I see it, which is of course the correct way,
the Roundballs can’t be any worse. Here’s a quick look at the
standings thus far:
| Hitting | Pitching | Total | |
| 1. Bolivar White Rats | 51.5 | 51.0 | 101.5 |
| 2. Durham Bulls | 53.5 | 36.5 | 90.0 |
| 3. Morloks | 35.5 | 54.0 | 89.5 |
| 4. Billings Ball Breakers | 52.5 | 34.5 | 87.0 |
| 5. Monroe St. Massacre | 40.0 | 46.0 | 86.0 |
| 6. The Dogs | 24.5 | 54.5 | 79.0 |
| 7. St. Louis 69ers | 39.5 | 37.5 | 77.0 |
| 7. Pigeons | 30.0 | 47.0 | 77.0 |
| 9. Slybirds | 48.0 | 22.5 | 70.5 |
| 10. Big Bashers | 45.0 | 24.5 | 69.5 |
| 11. Roundballs | 32.0 | 35.5 | 67.5 |
| 12. Team Carr | 33.0 | 30.5 | 63.5 |
| 13. TV Sex | 20.5 | 31.0 | 51.5 |
| 14. Hawks | 20.5 | 20.0 | 40.5 |
