(notice there is nothing about same sex relationships included because they don't apply)
All these terms apply to me except what I have left out.
Yes, after a few years of existing, all things in the universe whether spacial anomalies or other heavenly or not so heavenly bodies do acquire satellites and rings of asteroids and space dust. I am no different.
Matter-of-fact I have found that there are just some relationships that never seem to completely dissolve, not even if it took a crow bar to pry their frozen hands from your front door to separate you in the first place. They just seem to circle around and every now and then when the orbit is close enough stop by to use the shower unannounced or stay a few days when life has slowed to a boring pace in winter months. I guess when you start out as friends it is easier to stay that way when the romance has been squeezed, shoved, pried or drooled away.
And then there are the responsibilities and duties that come with some relationships. Some of them stick around for awhile after the relationship has changed or been put on hold or whatever...Some of them never leave.
And after so many years all these add up.
Every year you add another galaxy worth to your personal cosmos, each with its own importance and expectations. All intertwined in a continual spiraling outwardly mobile web of expectations and requirements on you time and energy.
In other words, "We are not alone."
Now for an attempt at explaining why. Maybe just giving some reasons for the radical shift in my life and how I interact.
Once upon a time I met someone and married him. I was eighteen and he was my everything, my life, my world and my universe. While we were married there were women and Joe and all else were neuters. I didn't even see other men as they passed me on the street. I was totally oblivious and totally, devoted.
But that got all screwed up and I ended up saying, "Joe you are leaving me."
I haven't been the same since. I have never been able to focus on only one man after that. I have never been able to find one package that was so complete as to evoke that kind of mindless tunnel vision. Not that it was in the least bit attributed to Joe. It was all in my head and heart and now I have greater expectations and am somewhat more difficult to satisfy.
Ok, so you can blame my odd psychophysicalemotional bazarness on Joe when it comes to relationships.
Hey, every guy is great, each with his own special talents and individual attributes, but no one Mr. Perfect with everything. And I don't fault them for that. I have come close a few times. I appreciate each in his own way. I even like nice guys and don't mind an asshole free evening, unlike some women who insist on always having conflict, although I really don't mind the occasional arrogant bastard. The conversation is always lively and it is fun to find out which one of us has the bigger ego.
That is not to say that I own a big mansion where all my loves live like some grandiose male harem or something, as utopian as that actually sounds to me. Most of the guys I have been or are still close to live in different places in one town or another across the nation and we see each other occasionally or rarely, but still keep in touch.
So I am not looking for a husband, I think I have enough of those kinds of long standing relationships under my belt. And just because there is depth and time to relationships does not mean they are all fully functional in all the facets of interaction as some might assume. (Hey any one who says any type of so called committed relationship or marriage means never being without sex or a date on Friday night is too naive to know how life really is) But another friend to talk to and/or a companion to do things with would be nice, maybe a cuddle buddy or someone interested in something a little more risqu� or intimate, depending on the person's preferences, but it isn't a prerequisite by any means.
My relationships are usually long lasting. Even an e-mail infatuation lasted a year. A long distance semi-dating thing lasted nine months. So I don't take even the most casual encounters less serious than any other. Each is an investment of time and energy on my part and hopefully on the other person's as well.
But if you are looking for your one and only, someone to have children with, or someone to be jealous over, I am not your gal. You might go looking for something a bit more virginal. None the less, I am pretty open minded in this area even if I were to find a soul mate at this point I don't see why we have to be joined at the hip or why we need to take the usual limiting vows to enjoy that potential. But it would be helpful if you weren't expecting to be the only gander on the pond during migration season. And about the time you try a Highlander impersonation and throw, "There can be only one" in my direction I am liable to throw it right back along with your bags and any other personal affects you might have laying around.
Ok, so now you are thinking..."Why should I even bother with you?" Well Luv, it is simple. Because I am me. I am a very unique individual that you just won't find another of anywhere. You will never meet anyone like me. I have many hidden talents that every man can only dream of expecting from any woman, let alone all of them from just one. I am able to be talked with about anything and I also am a capable listener. I have immence creativity and curiosity and just as much enthusiasm to go along with them. I am the sort of woman who every 15 year old boy wishes he could keep in his locker at school and bring out when he feels insecure or the raging hormones of puberty.
I am also the strong personality that challenges those men who just can't find intellect in today's vacant minded young women. If you think you have an ego you will reconsider yourself after meeting me. I know what I am capable of and it doesn't matter to me if you figure it out or not...your opinion does not have anything to do with my self worth.
I am straight forward and honest...all you have to do is ask me a direct question and my honor ablidges me to answer just as directly no matter the outcome.
I am artistic and musically inclined. I can be a muse to the creative and a devil's advocate and best source of constructive criticism to the author. And I can brain storm with the best of them.
I really can't name all my qualities here, there is always my ability to coordinate my sensual talents and knowledge of massage. So there are many reasons to talk to me, not the least of which is that I am a devoted and loyal friend that is highly tolerant of my friends common foiables and ideosyncrocies. I keep true friends for life.
Now if you can't find value in any of that...good fortune and serenity,
Sirena