This year I have struggled with what to do for Christmas for my loved ones. Previously, I have always done the "rush to the store and purchase something that may or may not be seen as special". Many times, I have spent an abundance of money and later watched family and friends have that same gift on the spring-cleaning garage sale. Finally, I decided to do something different.

Over the past two years I have been trying to put together a cookbook. This cookbook is not just any cookbook- it is a tribute to my grandmother, sharing her recipes with others who also love to cook as she did. As I sat writing my first few pages, I realized I have my memories of my grandmother captured upon paper. I often recall those wonderful events we used to share, surrounded by the fragrant aromas of her recipes, when I was a child. At the time, I took those times for granted, but now the memories are treasured.

This book is filled with hopes. I'm hoping that by sharing my treasurebook of memories and recipes, it will remind others of their own unique memories, and provide a means for them to create new ones through cooking for those they love. I hope it helps them remember to cherish loved ones and value those special times you have. I hope it will inspire that special feeling when you feel the house warmed by the smells of home cooking, or sharing family times together over delicious meals. I'm planning to illustrate it myself, and hopefully they will see a little part of my soul in the artwork.

In writing this book, I find I have a lot to share. Not only to my family but also to the man whom I love. I realize that Matt will never get to know my grandmother. He will never get to meet and spend time with this wondrous woman. He will never get to sit at her table and smell the oatmeal cookies baking and hearing her ramble on about travelling to places unknown. So as I write my book I am sharing with him a part of my past.

He sits with me, reading and listening to me talk about my grandmother. He said to me, "I wish I had gotten to meet her. She sounds like a neat person to have known. I can tell by your memories that she made a great impact in your life. You are very lucky, Steph." I just smiled.

In recent months, I decided I spend too much time worrying about the holidays. "What will I get Jose for Christmas and his birthday? How am I going to get enough money to purchase something for Matt, my mom, dad, etc.?" But now my gears have switched. I have found the best way to express my spirit of giving is through sharing memories and creating new ones.

The meaning of giving has become a much deeper place within myself. Even as Matt asks me to make my wish list for Christmas, I found that I don't list extravagant things. He tells me I am not selfish enough on my list. I shrug and tell him, "What more do I need when I have you, Jose and my family? If I needed something I could easily go out and get it. Why buy me something expensive, when all I need is these memories we share together?"

He hugged me and said, "That's why I love you, Steph."