What is a Mary Sue?
By HLB
I've read a couple of
interesting Mary Sue related humorous fictions and some folks have asked the
question... What is a Mary Sue?
Ah, listen my children and you
shall hear, of the scourge of fanfiction, never fear...
We love their world, and it does
show - again and again to there we go
And when the movies and books
dry up, we cry, we shout, "that's not enough!"
And we write our own.
Nuthin' wrong with that, no?
Until a character named Mary Sue does show.
Ok, enough with the rhyme,
here's the scoop.
We write fanfiction because we
love spending time in our favorite fictional world. Some of us love it so much,
in fact, that we want to put ourselves in that world. Hence Mary Sue is born.
A Mary Sue is generally a self-insertion...
the author putting his or herself into the story.
That probably wouldn't be so bad
if the Mary Sue (or Billy Bob as I like to call the male version) didn't
develop so very many annoying characteristics.
1.) Mary Sue quickly becomes a
major if not THE major character in the story.
2.) Mary Sue is invariably
stunningly attractive, witty, clear-headed, and heroic. She also shows
prodigious talent and ability in a cross section of areas... for instance in
the Space story she is the best shooter since Annie Oakley AND knows the
computer better than anyone PLUS she can fly the ship better than the
navigator. She can fix the Millenium Falcon with a hairpin and then fly it
through a fleet of Imperial Fighters without a scratch... and she can do it
with one hand tied behind her back.
3.) The character the author is
his/herself most in love with will fall for Mary Sue quicker than you can say
"not again!" Yes, it's true. Star Trek's Mr. Spock doesn't have
emotions? Wait until Mary Sue shows up. In fact, with Mary Sue around he
"gets some" more than any other character in Sci Fi.
4.) Other attractive and
desirable characters will at least express interest in Mary Sue. Many times
they will compete for her affections. Nothing like Hercules and Iolus (sp?)
fighting over Mary Sue... nothing like it except the 500 other stories with the
same plot.
5.) Now, Mary Sue, besides being
the best thing since sliced bread, also has a mysterious past, a secret, a twin
sibling, is the child of an important supporting character, or is the long lost
relative of one of the majors. In fiction like Harry Potter she's usually
Harry's sister or Snape or Lupin's daughter. In Star Trek she'd be, say, Spocks
daughter or secret love. Sherlock Holmes... well she'd be the woman he loved
and lost vowing never to love again... you get the idea. This is totally George
Lucas' fault for pulling that Leia is Luke's twin sister bit...
6.) Mary Sue will save the
day... have no doubt. The truest Mary Sue will also save someone else's life
while she's at it. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL...
7.) The Ultimate Mary Sue will
also be gravely injured in the process. This is so the other characters can
fret and worry over her as her life hangs in the balance.
8.) Opinions differ as to which
is the most Mary Sue of endings after the grave injury:
THE SETUP:
Mr. Main Character sat sadly by
Mary Sue's bed looking at her still, pale form. Trying to choke back his fears
he takes her hand in both of his.
"Oh, Mary Sue, I never told
you how I felt and now it's too late." he whispered. "Why did you do
it, Mary Sue, why did you sacrifice yourself for me? I'll never be able to live
with myself if you die. Please don't die, Please..." With that Mr. Main
character lets his head sink to the bed, soaking the cover with tears...
STANDARD MARY SUE ENDING #1:
...For a few moments the only
sound in the room was the occasional sob from Mr. Main Character. After a time,
however, his tears stopped and he sat, his head still lying on Mary Sue's bed.
Exhausted from weeping Mr. Main Character begins to fall asleep when he
suddenly feels a hand stroking his head. Can it be????? You bet your sweet
bippie it can... Yes! Mary Sue, moved, even in her coma, by Mr. Main Character's
love and devotion, regains consciousness and they profess their love and live
happily ever after.
STANDARD MARY SUE ENDING #2:
...Mr. Main Character felt a
hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Best Friend/Sidekick looking at him
with an expression both sad and grave. "She's not gonna' make it, is she
Main Character?" he asked. Stroking her hand, Mr. Main Character nods,
unable to speak. Just then Mary Sue seems to sigh and breathes no more.
ENDING #2A:
"Noooo, please no, not Mary
Sue! Don't leave me, don't leave me!"
Best Friend/Sidekick pulls the
hysterical Mr. Main Character off Mary Sues dead body and there is a brief
struggle before Mr. Main Character collapses in uncontrollable grief.
ENDING #2B:
Mr. Main Character looked at
Mary Sue, tears he didn't know he still had slipping from his eyes. "I'll
never forget you, Mary Sue, never." he whispered.
Lets face it, if you're going to
use Ending #2, 2B is cleaner. If he's not too hysterical a new Mary Sue might
be able to comfort him in his grief.... which leads to another point
9.) Mary Sue is eternal.
She proves the theory of re-incarnation. No matter how often you kill her she
just keeps coming back in new forms.