If toast always lands butterside down and a cat always lands on it's feet then what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Why? - Why not?
If barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends?
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
Why do they call it lip stick if your lips don't stick together?
Best friends is one mind in two bodies.
love is temporary insanity cured by marriage - Ambrose Bierce
Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder 'where have I gone wrong' and then a voice says to me - 'this is going to take more than one night' --- Charlie Brown.
The USA has come up with a new survey; apparently 3/4 people make up 75% of the population. - David Letterman
If it weren't for electricty then we'd be watching TV by candle light- George Gobal
I've been accused of Vulgarity, that's bull**** - Mel Brooks.
I told my phsychiartrist that everyone hates me. He said I was ridiculous - everybody hasn't met you yet. - Rodney Dangerfield.
The pen is mightier than the sword and considerably easier to write with - Marty Fieldman
Now they show how detergents take out blood stains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a t-shirt with a blood stain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. - Jerry Seinfeld.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die - Mel Brooks
I once heard two ladies going on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem know what real pain is. I asked them if either of them had ever got themselves caught ina zipper. Emo Phillips
somehow everything I see reminds me of something I've read, when, shouldn't it be the other way round? - You've go mail.
Your about as useful as a one legged man in an a*** kicking contest - Rowan Atkinson.
He decided to live forever or die in the attempt - Joeseph Heller
You're under arrest for stealing empty cardboard boxes! The company needs those boxes to meet it's recycling goals! - Catbert
The biggest way to loose marks in finals is to get the wrong answer - Dr. R. Taylor
A writer is someone who has taught his mind to misbehave - Stephen King (only the best writer of all time - no offense meant to all you ff peeps)
How come Polar bears throw snowballs and they don't get detention! - Serra Dumaz
Nice or naughty?
"I don't talk to myself, nope! Not at all, never..."
...even if she had lost control of her life, she could at least prod it in the right direction. - ramos (Hinge of Fate)
Now go see the quotes - just as good!!
