Moe and I have been talking more and more of meeting and not waiting to see if we get a call from Montel, which is not a likelihood, in this lifetime anyway. This will be Moe's first time meeting someone from the net, real time. I explained how meeting in person can sometimes change things between two people, and not always for the best. Sometimes, but not usually, the relationship continues on and becomes stronger immediately, but its been my experience, and that of others, that its almost like starting from scratch and getting to know one another all over again.

We had decided to meet the first week of November. I can't get any more time off work for a while, so Moe is going to come here. He's never been to the east coast before and wants to visit Washington D.C.

Later, Moe emailed me with some news. A slight kink may have been thrown into our plan for the November visit. Moe has an interview for a position that he's been trying to secure for some time. For some reason, he doesn't think he'll be selected for the position and isn't too worried at this point.

Neither of us deny that there are some fairly strong feelings between us. We've grown quite attached to each other and have talked about the possibilities that may lie ahead after meeting. We've talked about a lot of what if's, trying to cover all bases.

What if we fall in love? Moe said he wouldn't have a problem moving here. I expressed some concern that if he did get this new position, he would be less likely to pick up and leave... and I wouldn't want him to give up something he's wanted and waited so long for.

I told Moe that maybe we shouldn't meet... that way, we won't be creating a possible problem down the road. We had talked on the phone and Moe said he detected some hesitation in my voice. It's true. I really don't relish the thought of meeting someone, possibly falling in love, knowing that neither of us could, or would, relocate. Why in the world didn't I follow my own advice about getting involved with someone not in close proximity??

I can't believe I'm having such selfish thoughts. I told Moe I hoped that he didn't get the job. He understood why I'd made that remark and thought I sounded a little sad.

Moe: ��"Actually this is a good opportunity. After a year, maybe I could get transferred out to your neck of the woods!! So don't be sad. Remember what the card reader said about the possibilities of me being "the one," and about being patient ..."

Me: ��"Don't worry about me being sad. I'll be okay. I can hardly blame you for wanting to take a job that is both part time and flexible, without the promise of a minimum number of hours, not to mention a long, 90 mile drive away, as opposed to moving here, getting a full time job and being with your soul mate. Okay... I'll stop! *grin*" Sarcasm abounds...

And being true to his understanding nature, after a long phone conversation, Moe sent me an email.

Hi Doll,

Let me just say that you sounded, if nothing else, a little down. I did not want you to feel bad or sad. I understand about long term relationships, and you're right, they seldom last very long unless the couple have been together for some time first.

I can say that I'm still very excited about meeting you, and after all, until we meet I can't say anything for sure, but that doesn't rule out that if we do hit it off, fall in love, or decide that we were meant for each other, that a job, any job, is a small price to pay for finding a "soul mate" or true love. If that does happen, then I believe that I may not be as worried about this flexible type of job as much as wanting to be near you. What is that they say about the power of love?

I do care about your feelings... and don't worry about your selfish remark. I've made my share of them. It just shows me you care about us and that you have a personal stake in this. Nothing to be sorry about.

Maybe we're jumping the gun anyway. Who knows what will happen this Friday at the interview. If I do get the job, it's still questionable if I can make it work through the winter anyway. I'm starting to like the idea of warmer weather!! *big grin*

If I don't get the job, it doesn't automatically mean I'm moving there either. I don't want to sound negative, but on the other hand, I don't want to be overly optimistic. I need to meet you face to face before making any decisions and I know you feel the same. Afterwards, we may make many new decisions, but until then I've got to go on with what I've started.

You are very special to me as our relationship stands right now, without even meeting, but meet we will! And either way that works out, you'll still be very special to me.

I can't really get away from the idea that if I get this job, you'll be more reserved and cautious when we meet than if I came down there, say, a bum with no job. You already seem more reserved when we've talked lately. One other thing... You know, by being reserved when we meet, I might get the wrong impression. I hope that if you are attracted to me that you won't hide it. You said we were going up hill until this job thing happened and now you're sure it's probably going to go down hill??

Moe

P.S. I thought that I would mention this... the card reader may have not mentioned, specifically, a happy ending, but she didn't tell you to back away either.

We talked on the phone for about nine hours. I confessed, I wasn't sure if we should meet. I told him about my fears.

I cried.

He cried.

I learned just how sensitive and feeling he really is. It would be easy, at this point, to fall in love with him...