I took the initiative to email Moe and tell him all I was thinking and feeling. I told him that there was no being "swept off my feet" feeling for me, but that I was attracted to him and I'd like to see where the possibilities may lead as we continue to email and talk.

Moe: "I'm not one to slam a door shut just because it's not wide open. I didn't think you were dusting off the wedding dress or anything that dramatic. I think of you as one of my best friends and for me, any long term relationship has to start with friendship. P.S. I'm burning your candle and looking at your picture. I guess its a way of still being there." Moe was burning the candle and staring at my picture as a way of still being here? hhhmmm...

Moe said, "The attraction I'd hoped for wasn't there, but on the other hand, I was not repelled away either." Is that attraction, or the "swept off the feet" feeling? "I'm not sure you noticed, but we did clash a couple of times, nothing major, but still bumping heads nonetheless." We did?? Did I miss something here?? Try as I might, I couldn't think of a time that I thought Moe and I clashed. "When we argued about saving a night to go to Virginia Beach, I'm sure we both had valid points, but I felt like you didn't want to hear my explanation." Argued?? We argued?? Didn't want to hear his explanation?? I recalled that we had talked for about three hours, trying to figure out how we could fit VA Beach in and D.C. We had agreed it couldn't be done... and his relative didn't call until 9p.m. that night, too late to make a three hour drive even if we had decided we could go.

Moe pointed out that we hadn't agreed on which fast food place to go to. I felt as though he was knit picking, digging hard to find points of contention, and to me, there really weren't any. I just didn't see it that way. I told him, "We are clashing now, I guess, because I didn't think that things went as badly as you did. I didn't detect any friction. To be perfectly blunt, I feel as though you are looking for only negative aspects. Did you think there was anything good about our meeting?? I don't remember reading much of anything positive in your last two emails other than you enjoyed the trip to D.C."

Moe: "As for the positive things about our meeting... What do you want me to say?? How about the burning of your candle and looking at your picture? I think you said that was sweet... oh, not positive... I get it ... maybe you need more. I think that I have mentioned that I liked your sense of humor, your intelligence, your quick wit and your drive. Will it make you feel better if I say your eyes were very pretty, or your hair was soft? Maybe I'm missing something here." I noticed that Moe was suddenly on the defensive. And yes, he was missing something. I wasn't asking for a list of physical attributes he found attractive or pleasant.

Me: "You've focused on our differences instead of our similarities, since meeting. Don't get me wrong, we do have some differences, but to me, they don't seem all that important. Maybe we did disagree on which restaurant to go to... maybe I do think we understand and respect each other more than you do... maybe my sense of humor isn't exactly the same as yours. To me, those are little things. When I look for differences that may hinder a relationship, I look for them in the areas of beliefs, morals and values."

Moe: "I think that maybe you might not be worried enough about the little things. The areas of beliefs, morals, values and goals are one of the things that attracted us to each other, and they don't change easily. The little things which you expect me to basically ignore, are the fine details that are important to me. I'm not saying any more or any less important than the above mentioned, but I do think that they matter. Not so much as changing for the other person but understanding and getting used to them."

To me, they do matter as a way of understanding someone, but trivial things won't make or break a relationship. I felt I couldn't get Moe to understand, that to me, it didn't matter if we didn't agree on things that were simply a matter of personal tastes... food, movies, etc. Had Moe been hoping for a clone??

I told Moe that I didn't feel a lasting relationship was built on instant attraction and that another visit, maybe in the spring, would be nice... that is if he hadn't been "swept off his feet" in the meantime... and "no, I wasn't dusting off my wedding dress, but I hadn't donated it to Goodwill yet either."

When he asked, "what chunk of your heart is reserved for me," I gave my feelings for him a 7 on scale of 1 - 10. Not love, but more than just simple "like."

Moe: "I'd rate the way I felt about you between a 6 and a 7. Now don't take that badly, because I do like you more than just plain ol' like but I can't say anything about love or even close to it... yet." Take what badly?? How we felt about each other seemed pretty mutual to me. And who said anything about love???

Moe: "Well let me say I'm glad you feel better, I'm not sure about me just yet. You know how much I worry about little things, and really I'm not sure that this is so little." Yeah, okay, but I'm not sure its such a big deal either.

He mentioned that it was possible he could meet someone while he was away training for his new job... "I wish I could say that I was mature enough to not be swept off my feet but I'm just a big kid at heart!!"... and he did not want to shun a possible relationship that may be in the works. Wow... There was a relationship in the works?? Why hadn't he told me about it? I replied, "By all means, explore the possibilities! I would be happy for you if you thought you'd found "Ms. Right." Considering Moe's negative attitude, maybe I should have said, "Ms. Perfect."

Moe: "I want to say that you are very important to me and I think we will always be friends. As long as that continues, we have the possibility of becoming more. You name the date and I'll be ready to see you in the spring... that is, unless one of us has a serious change of heart."

My change of heart was already beginning. At this point, I'm having doubts about even our friendship lasting. What would be the point of another visit? I wasn't up for hearing again, how he thought we kept clashing. "Spring is a long way off. We'll discuss it at a later date."